michael.simpson99 Posted January 12, 2019 Posted January 12, 2019 Hello to all I will try to make this short but i don't know if i can. First of all, this will be maybe the weirdest thread here that someone wrote. I am writing this since i see there are lot of people and experienced people here so i might get some hints if not actual help, since i maybe need therapist for this. Let's get started. I live with my mother i am 27years old, i met girl who is 31 years old..I lived with my brother too but he left to work now..We live in not so economical and big city and there is not so much work in here that is paid etc..She also lives with brother and mother since they are divorced(maybe that is important)... I introduced her with my mother 2-3 months in relationship and my mother is very conservative woman who was raised in village near our town and she is not so modern sort of speak... This girl is way modern and she has some beliefs about dating and mother/son relationship a bit different... I was sick when i was child and she became over protecting about me, i never allowed that once i passed teenager ages, but still she has that in her.. One day my mother looked us out on the window of our house and it was in the morning when i followed my gf home, she saw that and said that my mother was crazy...i asked my mother and she said she looked by accident because she was feeling ill that night and it looked like she was crazy..My mother sometimes messages me to buy something for house, or to get something via viber, and when i am near my gf and she does that she becomes stressed and says why is your mother sending you those texts i think those are some code words for something etc..i felt strange and i explained and even showed previous messages...if i live with my mother we need to talk about expenses and money etc.. She started hating my mother and said how we are crazy and how i am mammas boy and how my mother is doing some weird stuff with me. I argued with my mom to stop doing that because of my gf and she is maybe over protecting of me.so she stopped doing that, however this gf now thinks that i have incest with my mother!!!!!!!!! I AM SHOCKED!! My gf has some issues in her head, and she is kind of jealous of my mother so she started thinking the worst thing that can happen in this relationship! Apart from that we are getting along nicely and we have good relationship... She also said to me that in her previous relationship she felt the same way with her ex bf and sister! So i am starting to see some pattern here that she is becoming bit of crazy??? I talked to my mom and comforted my mom and her, my mom cried and she kept saying how she is crazy and lying mother blah blah...so they got in fight 2x already because of this, my gf has crazy temper!! She was drunk sometimes and say those things etc.. we don't live seperately because i don't have that much money to rent apartment and she is always blaming me how i am incompetent and how i am stupid and she calls me all that stuff...Then she says she loves me so much and she knows how this is crazy but she can't help it and she has those mental images in head... Issue is that she has this temper, and whenever we are in fight she threatens to call her ex bf, how she will marry him, how he is not crazy, how she will drink and die, how she will kill herself and so on.... I am afraid she might do something of those since she called her ex bf 3x already when she was drunk...nothing much but saying him how i am bad and how she has problems. I passed that too, since i really love her and love her as person too...however i know i can't be her therapist and this is something she needs to comfort her mind. Issue here is that because i love her and she is very good when we don't talk about this, very very good and very calm, i am afraid of going to live with her even if i have money, even to go abroad because she will never accept my mother, if we have kids what if she doesn't allow those kids to be seen by my mother and so on.. Issue is i love her so much, even though this happened i really love her, and she uses that to keep me around her but she always wants to block me on social media and threatens like i said. She loves me too but in some weird way...i am very emotional and i don't know how to help her overcome this...She is acting like she has some control issues. I can't even express how i feel now, since she made that accusation about me and my mother for gods sake.. I went to church because of that, i cried in front of her and she still says no i am lying her, and i am doing that because she is good person and i don't want to lose her but i must lie for everything... I am starting to think she has some control issues... For example when she calls me on viber, and by sudden she says good bye enjoy your good xxx !! and hungs up, for no reason!!!! she is doing this constantly in last 10-20 days , she cries a lot and i think she is not satisfied with her life so she is loosing it... Any hints would be appreciated...i am feeling devastated as i write this...long thread i know but OMG i don;t know what to do! This tears me apart because i would never do such thing to women i love..and i am not crazy! but whenever i say this to her she says that those people who do this are exactly as i am! so i am starting to think i am crazy too sometimes! is this narcissistic behaviour ??
MetallicHue Posted January 12, 2019 Posted January 12, 2019 I would recommend her to seek help but I think you need to end the relationship. I know you care about and she’s ok when normal but this is not very healthy. Saying your guilty of incest and how she’s going to run back to her ex, definitely not cool.
SunnyWeather Posted January 12, 2019 Posted January 12, 2019 not a healthy situation for all concerned. why are you staying with this woman who clearly has some mental health issues? stop enabling this, and get some help to break free from all of this dysfunctional behavior.
smackie9 Posted January 12, 2019 Posted January 12, 2019 If your friend was in this situation what would you advice them?
Author michael.simpson99 Posted January 12, 2019 Author Posted January 12, 2019 Issue is that because this is all lie how can i convince her, because if there was not this crazy thing in her head, we would be happy :/ I know she is not crazy but she got this idea maybe from some messages but clearly because we lived in different cultures or routines and she had different way of living...so she is a bit odd about conservative people...i really can't say how much she loves me, but i think if you love someone you will believe them :/ Not a very good situation to be in, i am confused a lot and i wish this never happened...worst thing is to break relationship and she thinks i am lunatic:/
Recommended Posts