She Feels Rejected: Why?

January 12, 2019

I went out with some friends and acquaintances on the weekend of new year's. Had a blast all around and general merriment.

There were at least 4+ gals (ABCDEF) in our group, maybe more than that, where there is a mutual interest. Everyone was in a great mood, and I was trying to hone in on who I have the best chemistry with.

We were all out rather late bar hopping. I was enjoying the company of all of these gals, and didn't have a great feel for whether I enjoyed one woman's company more than the other.

Around midnight, we started to split up. Girl A is rather on the shy side, but was a lot more social and relaxed on this evening. She's made her interest known in the past and is jealous of other girls who talk to me. We were talking at a previous party and Girl B joined our conversation. Girl A shot her a daggers with her eyes. She was nice, but quite upset at least initially.

We were all deciding what to do. I asked Girl A what she was up to. She said she was going to denny's and then call it a night. I invite myself along: 2 guys, 2 gals. She seems happy about that, agrees readily.

I see girl B running past. I ask her where everyone's going. They say they are headed to a club for some dancing. I'm conflicted as I want to hang with Girl A, but also with girls BCDE who are headed out to the club. I make a split decision that I want to go dancing too.

I excuse myself from the denny's trip. Girl A says "you can't do everything at once Allan." I give her a hug, but she is not feeling the hug.

I have seen Girl A three times now since then.

1. she was with the guy who went to denny's on new year's weekend. A date I suppose. She saw me walk in and her eyes got huge jaw dropped and her body jerked as if she had been electrocuted.

I tap her on the shoulder say hi in a warm way, she says hi back but won't look at me. I socialize with other people in the group. I head to the bathroom. As I am rejoin the group, the girl 'sneaks out' asap and closes the door behind her without looking at anyone or saying goodbyes.

2. A few days later I see her at 7/11. I'm grabbing a redbox movie right by the door. I see her inside. She walks past me quickly, but then heads immediately back inside. She will not look at me. I didn't even have a chance to say hi. She definitely saw me I was standing right next to her at the door.

3. I see her again on thursday at a happy hour. She walks very quickly past me without saying a word. She does the same thing as she's leaving.

It seems like she is mad/scared and feels rejected. I was really conflicted new year's night. I didn't know who I enjoyed hanging out with more. I think even if I had decided to go to the club without inviting myself along with her group, she would've been mad regardless. Just a hunch.

Did I do something "wrong" here? She is clearly upset. I dont' even attempt to talk to her anymore now as (part 3) it seems to upset her. I'd like to be able to say hi if I see her randomly. Which is happening fairly often. Should I just completely ignore her like I am for now?

Would you be mad in her shoes?

edit: since I asked Girl B, who Girl A was jealous of, where everyone was going, that might have ticked her off. Not sure.

January 12, 2019

Please dont ever use the words "her jaw dropped and she was electrocuted" lol. Huge difference between confidence and arrogance man.

and Yes girls are really smart. Girl ABCDE already know you were trying to flirt with all of them.

So im guessing all of them lose interest in you because you couldnt choose 1 to begin with. Girl A just doesnt like you yeah. She's not scared.

Stick to 1 girl in the future before you walk down a very ugly road

January 12, 2019

You ****ed up.

She feels rejected so has now cut you out.

Not that hard to work out is it?

January 12, 2019

As it turns out, Girl B was upset with me too at the club lol. She was dancing with another guy and glared at me when she saw me. I didn't think I had done anything to upset her.

However, earlier in the evening she was waiting to talk with me while I talked with Girl A. However, Girls G and H asked her if she was passing through as she waited, so since she couldn't say she was waiting on me, she left, which probably embarrassed her. Also, she saw me talking with Girl A, on several occasions that night which may have upset her, I don't know.

So I spent time with Girl C.

Even though Girl B was upset, she seemed to be always standing right next to me when I was with Girl C. Maybe she still wanted to dance with me even though it seemed clear she was upset.

I don't understand why these girls are getting so upset. I haven't even taken some of their phone numbers much less asked them out but there are still lots of hurt feelings.

Edited January 12, 2019 by allansilver

January 12, 2019

I talked with Girl A several times that night. I had talked with before then of course as well.

I was trying to gauge "how I felt" when talking with her. I was actually trying to "force" myself to have stronger feelings for her. She is very pretty and sweet, but I just didn't feel this sense of connection with her.

I felt a stronger connection with Girls BCD.

I am seeing Girl C casually now. I do also have feelings for Girl D as well. However, she is very unemotional and tough to read. Also, I don't see her as often at social events.

I feel bad that the vibe is weird with Girl A. I run into her a lot and it feels creepy just totally ignoring her although she's made it clear she doesn't feel comfortable interacting with me at this point.

All I can do is ignore her at this point. I don't feel like I did anything wrong. I didn't flake on a date, I didn't turn her down for any social event, I didn't take her number. I feel like this is all in the initial flirting stages where people don't get hurt or invested.

If women are going to feel hurt before any dating happens or even before even asking them on dates, this could become a problem. Meaning, even having a brief conversation or two could create huge expectations and a lot of hurt. I feel like this has already happened multiple times.

January 12, 2019

I feel like this is all in the initial flirting stages where people don't get hurt or invested.

That is exactly why they are not hurt they just lose interest in you BECAUSE even in the initial flirting stages you already show them that you will flirt with lots of women and leave them at a bar to go dancing at another one. Unless you plan on sleeping with lots of women every single day stick to 1 woman man.

January 12, 2019

These girls were not waiting on a shelf for AllanSilver to try them out and decide which one he wanted.

You chose Girl A over Girl B but then decided Girl B was better, but by that time you were dead to Girl A and Girl B.

Girl C has given you a whirl, but you now have your sights on Girl D, soon you will be dead to Girl C and D too.

Women are not going to wait in line to watch you flirting with everyone and then hope you pick her.

That is not how it works, they have other options and once you move away, they lose interest and will look elsewhere.

Listen to AriesDude, "stick to 1 woman man".

January 12, 2019

She feels rejected because you DID reject her.

You invite yourself along to go with her to Denny's and then when something better came along you never minded her. Not cool.

January 12, 2019

Letter designations preceded by "Girl" may be a clue as to how special you make them feel as well. If Girl C's actual name is Lorina... make sure you have a working flashlight.

January 12, 2019

Wait, so are you dating Girl B? If not, why not forget “if she’s mad” and just ask out girl A already?!

January 12, 2019

You are allowed to play the field but not among a group of women who know each other.

At this point they are all miffed because you look like a bee that just hops from flower to flower with no thought about how the flower feels.

January 12, 2019

You came across as a desperate puppy trying to get the attention of any girl you could.

Like a dog walking around under the dinner table begging for scraps.

They’ve categorized you as a player or pathetic and you’ve likely blown it with the entire group.

Groups of women aren’t a buffet table...and you handled the entire thing poorly.

January 12, 2019

I live about a mile from a large retail store that I visit often. Great prices and selection.

On one occasion, I saw a gorgeous gal, literally a victoria's secret model. I talked to her very briefly, asked her some random question about where to find a product.

I didn't see her often, maybe once every couple of weeks. But I would look for her every time I was there.

She was one of the rotating staff, working just about every job, but I think she was one of the manager or asst. managers. I didn't try to hide my interest, and I'm sure she picked up on it. She was actually 'mean' to me, which was great, since I knew she knew and it was agitating her lol.

She was working the coffee stand one evening. I ordered a drink and just hung out in the "cafe." She joined two female co-workers seated near me. She began dancing provocatively directly in front of me small circular table. She was gyrating her hips, shaking her bottom. No music was playing. I did not object. :-)

I left. I came back later that same evening. She was in front of the customer service section. She stared and froze. She ran towards me. She ran past. She was stammering, talking loudly, but very quickly. It sounded like "bebebebebebe." I knew she was talking to me but avoiding eye contact and I couldn't make out what she was saying. I looked back she was standing behind me hunched over the shopping carts.

I was going to talk to her a bit, but she was really worked up and I was not convinced the conversation would go well. I never saw her again at that store.

Oddly enough, I saw her at the same store in the next town over. I smiled at her: she was staring at me but pouting and in a not so nice mood.

I felt like I had that one opportunity to talk to her and because I didn't she felt rejected. I have some slight pang of guilt that maybe I was a cause of her leaving that job. I doubt it. I hope not, but still a coincidence because of the mutually embarrassing scenario I painted above.

In retrospect, I feel like she was making an attempt to talk to me but she was nervous and so her 'approach' confused me. I should've assumed she was talking to me. No one else was nearby and I doubt she was in the habit of talking to herself.

January 12, 2019

Let's see:

Girl A: she approached me.

Girl B: I approached her but she made her attraction known.

Girl C: I approached her and we're still seeing each other.

Girl D: I approached her she made her attraction obvious.

Girls E to infinity: they approached or made their attraction known.

Friday night: at least three women approached me, but they weren't especially attractive. Very few people out on a cold winter night.

January 12, 2019

I didn't see her often, maybe once every couple of weeks. But I would look for her every time I was there.

Store Stalking

She was one of the rotating staff, working just about every job, but I think she was one of the manager or asst. managers. I didn't try to hide my interest, and I'm sure she picked up on it. She was actually 'mean' to me, which was great.

Great!?! No, you're fooling yourself.

I left. I came back later that same evening.

So now it is multiple times a day.

She was in front of the customer service section. She stared and froze. She ran towards me. She ran past. She was stammering, talking loudly, but very quickly. It sounded like "bebebebebebe." I knew she was talking to me but avoiding eye contact.

Keep fooling yourself.

Oddly enough, I saw her at the same store in the next town over. I smiled at her: she was staring at me but pouting and in a not so nice mood.

I sense a restraining order in your future.

In retrospect, I feel like she was making an attempt to talk to me but she was nervous and so her 'approach' confused me. I should've assumed she was talking to me. No one else was nearby and I doubt she was in the habit of talking to herself.[/Quote]You need to watch this video:

January 12, 2019

Are you sure all these girls are into you or maybe just overconfident? You seem kind of fickle too. I get playing the scene but maybe slow it down a bit.

January 12, 2019

She feels rejected because you DID reject her.

You invite yourself along to go with her to Denny's and then when something better came along you never minded her. Not cool.

Not "better." I wanted to go dancing though. The night was still young! I was fine going to a diner later but midnight was just a bit 'early.'

I admitted that I didn't feel the strong sense of connection I wanted to with her. She ticks all the boxes: pretty, nice, seems loyal. But if you're going to spend a lot of time with someone, you don't want to feel bored, you want to feel invested. I didn't feel that. I talked with her several times that night to see if that feeling was there. It wasn't. Her girlfriend was attracted to me as well but I wasn't feeling that either.

In retrospect, it was the right decision. I gave her enough chances. It didn't feel right.

Wait, so are you dating Girl B? If not, why not forget “if she’s mad” and just ask out girl A already?!

No, girl C. Girl A is seeing another guy: the guy who did go with them to denny.'s I don't know what their 'status' is. Girl B: not sure. Haven't seen her since then. Girl D I don't see very often.

Girl D I talked to for over an hour when we met. I think I waited too long to reciprocate signs of interest and now she's playing it cool. I didn't even take her number! She told me directly she was single and had a hard time meeting people. Those should've been clear signs. It made her very happy that I remembered her name, since we hadn't talked in months.

I'm running into Girl A a lot. Like several times a week. I wouldn't mind it if we just said hi in a cordial way and left it at that. But she doesn't want that. It's gotta be hostile.

You came across as a desperate puppy trying to get the attention of any girl you could.

Like a dog walking around under the dinner table begging for scraps.

They’ve categorized you as a player or pathetic and you’ve likely blown it with the entire group.

Groups of women aren’t a buffet table...and you handled the entire thing poorly.

Girls A, B, and C all approached me that night. If anything, the women are acting like the 'desperate puppies.' So did several others. None of them are upset by my attention. I felt spread too thin. I had to make an assessment. It worked out with Girl C. I like her alot and feel that 'chemistry' with her.

I like the other girls a lot too. I won't lie and say I'm not attracted to them.

There are dozens of other girls attracted, I'm not sure who I'll make my girlfriend.

Are you sure all these girls are into you or maybe just overconfident? You seem kind of fickle too. I get playing the scene but maybe slow it down a bit.

It's not even a question. They all know. I take all the blame. I sometimes ignore girls in the group because I'm talking or dancing with other girls in the group. For example while dancing, Girl B was following me around while I was dancing with Girl C. Girl (another letter) was grabbing me roughly trying to pull me towards her. Girl (another letter) became angry: "she wants to dance with you!"

Unless I turn the entire crew into a 12 girl harem there is going to be some disappointment.

Edited January 12, 2019 by allansilver

January 12, 2019

You are allowed to play the field but not among a group of women who know each other.

At this point they are all miffed because you look like a bee that just hops from flower to flower with no thought about how the flower feels.

But that's exactly what bees do and have done since time immemorial.

January 12, 2019

These girls were not waiting on a shelf for AllanSilver to try them out and decide which one he wanted.
You chose Girl A over Girl B but then decided Girl B was better, but by that time you were dead to Girl A and Girl B.
Girl C has given you a whirl, but you now have your sights on Girl D, soon you will be dead to Girl C and D too.

Women are not going to wait in line to watch you flirting with everyone and then hope you pick her.
That is not how it works, they have other options and once you move away, they lose interest and will look elsewhere.
Listen to AriesDude, "stick to 1 woman man".

Actually, yes, many of them are. Even when they date others, they still remain attracted to me and are not shy about making that known publicly.

Yes, they do. And that is their prerogative.

Ariesdude is not very experienced and I can tell you he or she is not successful. Women flirt and play the field and lead men on. This is completely normal. You are imposing a bizarre double standard that no longer exists. Same rules for everyone. Otherwise, you are supporting the patriarchy with separate gender rules.

Edited January 12, 2019 by allansilver

January 12, 2019

Great stories bro!

I'm just trying to make sense of all of this. I feel like if I even talk to a girl I'll be accused of 'leading her on' lol

January 12, 2019

Ironically, NOT talking to them, will probably lead to hurt feelings as well. Just like girl A. I ended the conversation and now she refuses to even acknowledge me. There's no way out of this from what I can tell.

January 12, 2019

But that's exactly what bees do and have done since time immemorial.

Flowers are not living breathing women with feelings.

January 12, 2019

Yes, you did something wrong. You told her you were going with her to Denny's and then you backed out, showing her exactly how low she is on your priority list. It was a very insulting thing to do. Even if you had been and she had been just friends, this still would have made her mad because it's RUDE.

January 12, 2019

Yes, you did something wrong. You told her you were going with her to Denny's and then you backed out, showing her exactly how low she is on your priority list. It was a very insulting thing to do. Even if you had been and she had been just friends, this still would have made her mad because it's RUDE.

Yeah, but if a woman does that and a man gets mad, then the man is made fun of for a lack of composure. The woman is never to blame. A woman flakes on a date, guy gets mad, everyone laughs at him or taunts him.

Why do you espouse a double standard? Same standard for everyone. I have every right then to laugh at her and taunt for her a lack of composure. Equal rights, equal rules.

Edited January 12, 2019 by allansilver

January 12, 2019

Flowers are not living breathing women with feelings.

Flowers are living and breathing (in the reverse sense since they use photosynthesis for energy). They may not be male or female but they may very well have feelings of a different sort. They recoil from injury and move towards light and may experience in some ways. You are giving short thrift to flowers.

Edited January 12, 2019 by allansilver

Sign In

She Feels Rejected: Why?

Recommended Posts

allansilver

AriesDude

damni

allansilver

allansilver

AriesDude

elaine567

FMW

salparadise

Malin889

d0nnivain

Wallysbears

allansilver

allansilver

PRW

MetallicHue

allansilver

allansilver

allansilver

allansilver

allansilver

d0nnivain

preraph

allansilver

allansilver

What's New

My Activity Streams

More...