fred123 Posted January 11, 2019 Posted January 11, 2019 went on a few dates with this girl i met through a mutual friend of some sort. chatted a bit via text etc before i asked her on a date. before the date we were texting about what we look for in other people and i said that i like a girl who has an opinion about things and not one that sits on the fence. anyways after the first date finiahed she texted me saying she hoped that i thought she had opinions on stuff. it looked like she was wanting my approval right? anyways after the fourth dates she then said she wasnt looking for anything serious as she isnt ready for anything as she has come out of a relationship and been hurt and wants to focus on herself and work etc. iv heard all this before. but wat the hell?!
SophieG Posted January 11, 2019 Posted January 11, 2019 went on a few dates with this girl i met through a mutual friend of some sort. chatted a bit via text etc before i asked her on a date. before the date we were texting about what we look for in other people and i said that i like a girl who has an opinion about things and not one that sits on the fence. anyways after the first date finiahed she texted me saying she hoped that i thought she had opinions on stuff. it looked like she was wanting my approval right? anyways after the fourth dates she then said she wasnt looking for anything serious as she isnt ready for anything as she has come out of a relationship and been hurt and wants to focus on herself and work etc. iv heard all this before. but wat the hell?! To be honest, I don't know! After our 3rd date, my bf told me that he could see himself in a relationship with me but he knew that I wasn't ready right now (told him before we met) since I was just out of a relationship. We took it slow, saw each other exclusively and it naturally developed into something serious with time. But that is MY situation, and I don't know if that could happen with her. She's either saying that she's not ready right now, but could be in the future... or that she'll never be ready with you. What do you want out of this?
chillii Posted January 12, 2019 Posted January 12, 2019 Great story soph. You could try somem like that f but you know, while seein someone a few times we're making up our mind what we think about them and the sitch. Anyway , guessin she's just decided your not for her mate.
Author fred123 Posted January 12, 2019 Author Posted January 12, 2019 To be honest, I don't know! After our 3rd date, my bf told me that he could see himself in a relationship with me but he knew that I wasn't ready right now (told him before we met) since I was just out of a relationship. We took it slow, saw each other exclusively and it naturally developed into something serious with time. But that is MY situation, and I don't know if that could happen with her. She's either saying that she's not ready right now, but could be in the future... or that she'll never be ready with you. What do you want out of this? your situation is a rare one. i had a similar situation with my ex a couple of years ago who ironically had the same name as you and it ended bad for me. i have read a lot of your posts. Your situation has been different to what i went through with an ex as well because you spent every weekend with your bf at the beginning right? were you exclusive from the beginning? also as a guy how do we know if she means what she says?
Author fred123 Posted January 12, 2019 Author Posted January 12, 2019 Great story soph. You could try somem like that f but you know, while seein someone a few times we're making up our mind what we think about them and the sitch. Anyway , guessin she's just decided your not for her mate. she still wants to hang out and likes spending time with me
manfrombelow2 Posted January 12, 2019 Posted January 12, 2019 Plain and simple: She is just not into you. You might be asking then why did she agree to hang out with you, even to the 4th time if she's not into you? => That's the thing about female, son. They think and act by emotions, not logic. At the beginning, her feelings for you were good enough to let her agree to hang out with you to the 4th date, but now her feelings for you are not good anymore because her interest level in you dropped, hence she's NOT into you anymore. Then why was her interest level in you dropped, you might be asking? Again, I have no ideas what you said and how you behaved around her during your dates, but normally, if everything is done right, a guy would be able to have sex with the woman at the 3rd or 4th date (max), so you have only yourself to blame.
SophieG Posted January 12, 2019 Posted January 12, 2019 your situation is a rare one. i had a similar situation with my ex a couple of years ago who ironically had the same name as you and it ended bad for me. i have read a lot of your posts. Your situation has been different to what i went through with an ex as well because you spent every weekend with your bf at the beginning right? were you exclusive from the beginning? also as a guy how do we know if she means what she says? Yes, my situation is a little different since we did act as a couple from the start. Our first date was on a Monday. Our second was on the next Friday (he stayed over). From that weekend, he came to my place every Friday, and left Saturday. When we became exclusive (5 or 6 weeks in), he started staying the whole weekend (so until Sunday pm). We were not exclusive from the start, but we both didn't see other person after our first date, so in a sense, we were. We just made it official a couple of weeks later. Would you be able to ask her directly? Is she saying that she'll never be ready for a relationship with you, or does she just need time to focus on herself?
Author fred123 Posted January 12, 2019 Author Posted January 12, 2019 Yes, my situation is a little different since we did act as a couple from the start. Our first date was on a Monday. Our second was on the next Friday (he stayed over). From that weekend, he came to my place every Friday, and left Saturday. When we became exclusive (5 or 6 weeks in), he started staying the whole weekend (so until Sunday pm). We were not exclusive from the start, but we both didn't see other person after our first date, so in a sense, we were. We just made it official a couple of weeks later. Would you be able to ask her directly? Is she saying that she'll never be ready for a relationship with you, or does she just need time to focus on herself? i will text her tomorrow and see what happens.
preraph Posted January 12, 2019 Posted January 12, 2019 She was being wishy washy. She was apparently just making conversation saying she hoped she was opinionated enough for you, just loose talk. And then she decided you weren't the guy for her. Sorry. Doesn't sound like anything you did. Just the way the dice fall. 1
rightondude Posted January 12, 2019 Posted January 12, 2019 what happened? Nothing happened. She just doesn't want you and gave you some excuse from the wheel of excuses. Just how it goes brother. You'll stand a better chance of getting her "back" if you just stop initiating any conversation from here on out. 1
elaine567 Posted January 12, 2019 Posted January 12, 2019 well she keeps texting me What about though?
Author fred123 Posted January 12, 2019 Author Posted January 12, 2019 What about though? just random hey how are you etc and you are quiet today and not talking to me? etc
manfrombelow2 Posted January 12, 2019 Posted January 12, 2019 Whenever she initiated contact, take that chance to ASK HER OUT with a definite date. If she agrees, then it's good. If she doesn't, say sth like "Cool, let me know when we can meet for coffee, I have to go now, bye" and stop contacting her immediately until she speaks again. The formula is simple and easy, but many of us just don't want to learn it. just random hey how are you etc and you are quiet today and not talking to me? etc
preraph Posted January 12, 2019 Posted January 12, 2019 Well if she still texting you, tell her since she said she wasn't ready for a relationship that you have backed off but now you are confused since she is still texting you. Say maybe I misunderstood what your expectations were telling me that you weren't ready for a relationship. it's true she may just be trying to cry on your shoulder about her ex but you should just ask her you have nothing to lose.
elaine567 Posted January 12, 2019 Posted January 12, 2019 anyways after the fourth dates she then said she wasnt looking for anything serious as she isnt ready for anything as she has come out of a relationship and been hurt and wants to focus on herself and work etc. iv heard all this before. but wat the hell?! She is telling you she is not interested in progressing anything romantic with you. well she keeps texting me Texting does not indicate romantic interest. Just random hey how are you etc and you are quiet today and not talking to me? etc That is not romantic stuff. That's friend zone talk. True Sorry.
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