Malin889 Posted January 15, 2019 Posted January 15, 2019 (edited) I agree with this 100%... You do not want to get involved in this mess. She is not good girlfriend material, she is damaged.... Do yourself a favor and find a woman who is not damaged and you will be much happier in the end... I wish you luck I'm sorry, that's such a crappy thing to say. She's "damaged" so she can't be in another relationship? It's not her fault the father of her kid cheated on her and treated her badly. So someone gets treated badly, and now they have to suffer and never be in a relationship again? I don't think so. Everyone has a past. OP - As far as I can see, I think you just need to take a step back, and like you said, keep it one day at a time. Maybe try to be her friend for awhile and back off of the relationship part? It does seem like she needs someone to talk to about this. So, be her friend — do things as friends—take it slow—and see how it goes from there. Edited January 15, 2019 by Malin889
olivetree Posted January 15, 2019 Posted January 15, 2019 The sex made her feel more attached to you. That attachment makes her feel vulnerable as she now feels you can hurt her (because she cares more about you). Seems she is backing away a bit to try to manage her anxiety. She probably has mixed feelings of wanting to come close and run away. I'm actually torn about whether or not you should discuss things or just ask her out on a light-hearted date. For me, when I felt like running away in the past, talking really did help. It really depends how the discussion is framed though... like if you're adding pressure or just trying to check in with how she is feeling. Maybe try the light-hearted date first and if she dodges it or acts weird while you're out, then have a chat.
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