mortensorchid Posted January 11, 2019 Posted January 11, 2019 I had connected with another on Match the other day. He offered me his cell phone number and said we should talk / text that way. I said alright and gave him mine. Our conversation went as such after "Hi how are you", "Is this the right number?". We discussed some general things (favorite movies, drinks, food, etc.) THen he got into some other territory which was questionable ... Him: "When was your last relationship?" Me: "About 3 years ago." H: "Why haven't you been in a relationship for the last 3 years?" M: "I don't know." H: "Ask me some questions, I asked you quite a bit." M: "You're from (city)?" H: "Yes." M: "Are you from there originally?" H: "Yes." M: "I have been there a handful of times." H: "Are you a sports fan?" M: "I am not." H: "Are you from (city) originally?" M: "Yes I am, I hope to relocate someday when I am in a better place careerwise, which I will do in a few years." H: "What about our age gap? (He is 36 and I am 44)" M: "That can be a concern but as long as 2 people are on the same page that's what matters. Often times people with age differences are not on the same page which is why it doesn't work most of the time." H: "Can I ask a bold question?" M: "How bold?" H: "How do you feel about sex?" M: "You said you weren't going to ask that question." H: "I am saying I don't want to jump into it, I am not looking for a hookup." M: "I agree not to jump into it." H: "Has it been 3 years for you?" M: "Since my last relationship? Yes it has." H: "That's not what I meant. I mean has it been 3 years since you had sex?" M: "Not your business." H: "Why did your last relationship end?" M: "He died. He went home, went to bed and died of a heart attack at age 44." H: "THat's aweful I'm sorry." M: "I got over it. I have to get up early tomorrow, so I am going to turn in now. We'll chat soon." Some on this forum and otherwise have accused me of being too harsh with others, and yes in my manner I have been. I have found that people just assume things about others which is not always the case, plus how people think is just wrong (that it's all about sex - and I don't care if you are a man or a woman). What are thoughts on this one?
Wallysbears Posted January 11, 2019 Posted January 11, 2019 Too much texting. He’s 36. He’s old enough to hit the “call” button and CALL YOU and ask you on a proper date. Texting is lame for dating. Maybe the younger kids do it - but I’m close to your age - and when I was dating I quickly learned that guys that did too much texting were a waste and just stopped with them. Men close to our ages grew up actually calling to ask us out - they know how. If they want to date you they’ll use their big boy pants and call.
Wallysbears Posted January 11, 2019 Posted January 11, 2019 And as for the sex questions? I’d have replied “are you serious with this ****? You’ve never even MET me and you think you have the right to ask intimate questions like that?” That guy is a waste. Grown ups don’t ask those sort of questions of a lady. Not via text and not before they have even met. Next him. 1
chillii Posted January 11, 2019 Posted January 11, 2019 (edited) Gawdddd, where to even begin. l dunno , for a start l think you did really well considering how the tool talked 2 minutes in with someone he hasn't even met yet, has no idea whatsoever if you even like each other or even get along let alone have the slightest possibility of some future relationship and if any of his bs would even matter anyway. l know they seem to talk about intimacy over there or in their terms sex to the neighbour the dog and down the corner store like it's buying a bottle of milk , but holy Toledo. To me it's like all these guys on the net or in these posts have their rehearsed internet lists, watched their dating vids and hit their next prospect lists in hand trying to be this be that or some shyt. l mean that just sounded try hard ridiculous. Edited January 11, 2019 by chillii
chillii Posted January 11, 2019 Posted January 11, 2019 Too much texting. He’s 36. He’s old enough to hit the “call” button and CALL YOU and ask you on a proper date. Texting is lame for dating. Maybe the younger kids do it - but I’m close to your age - and when I was dating I quickly learned that guys that did too much texting were a waste and just stopped with them. Men close to our ages grew up actually calling to ask us out - they know how. If they want to date you they’ll use their big boy pants and call. But no mention of the stuff he said whatsoever , so what is that normal shyt to say 2mins in , you don't seem to bat an eyelid at stuff he said.
Wallysbears Posted January 11, 2019 Posted January 11, 2019 Read my next post LOL He was WAY out of line and I’d have told him to get bent. 1
chillii Posted January 11, 2019 Posted January 11, 2019 Read my next post LOL He was WAY out of line and I’d have told him to get bent. Sorry about that, it must of sort of snuck in between mine or something , either that or l need glasses. Anyway , yeah that's what l would've thought , fully agree with ya .
Malin889 Posted January 11, 2019 Posted January 11, 2019 Ok, I’ve chatted with quiet a few onliners so I feel like I’m a good judge of this. This type of guy DRIVES ME CRAZY. 1) Not a fan of when they ask to “take your number” because a lot of the time they just text you forever and never ask you out. 2) Half the online guys I’ve spoken to think that it’s OK to talk about sex, to ask about sex, ask about kissing, call me “sexy”, etc when they don’t even know me. This guy— just no. Asking someone he doesn’t even know how they “feel about sex” and when the last time they had it (absolutely none of his business) is downright insulting. I bet you anything if he was speaking to you on the phone or if you were speaking to you face to face he wouldn’t have the guts to say that. Move on from this one. Next! 2
BluEyeL Posted January 11, 2019 Posted January 11, 2019 quite an interrogation! You weren't too harsh, he is not a winner. Toss him and next.
MaleIntuition Posted January 11, 2019 Posted January 11, 2019 That went quickly from super dry to creepy...
Happy Lemming Posted January 11, 2019 Posted January 11, 2019 I'd like to agree with the other posters... Calling him a "tool" would be too kind. Where does he get off asking personal questions like that?? I would have said "None of your ******* business" if I were you. Like others have posted. NEXT!!
AriesDude Posted January 11, 2019 Posted January 11, 2019 Agreed. Next this bloke. awful texting skills and vocabulary and went straight for thinking with his pants when he saw you arent really asking him anything.
rightondude Posted January 11, 2019 Posted January 11, 2019 his (first) mistake was thinking that was a "bold" question. "How do you feel about sex?" WTH kind of question is that, especially over a passive medium like texting, and what kind of answer was he expecting? "Oh I LOVE IT! ALL THE TIME! BOUT TIME YOU ASKED! WANT SOME??" sorry, he sounds like a loser.
Geraltt Posted January 11, 2019 Posted January 11, 2019 Putting aside whether or not the dude's questions were out of line... Who else is uncomfortable reading someone's private conversations, conversations that the person in question has NO IDEA are being splashed about online? If the dude's questions are out of line, how is publicly displaying a private conversation without permission not out of line?
Lisa_Lisa Posted January 11, 2019 Posted January 11, 2019 Agree. That guy had no right to ask such an intimate question of you. These losers have so much bravado behind their phones, they'd never have the nerve to ask you that to your face. I pretty much went through the same thing, this guy I matched with online asked me when was the last time I had sex. I also told him it was none of his business. I thought I might have been harsh so I explained why I thought it wasn't his business, but once he got into my good graces again, he had the nerve to ask the same exact question again! Just no. Freakin' losers. Next!
Malin889 Posted January 11, 2019 Posted January 11, 2019 his (first) mistake was thinking that was a "bold" question. "How do you feel about sex?" WTH kind of question is that, especially over a passive medium like texting, and what kind of answer was he expecting? "Oh I LOVE IT! ALL THE TIME! BOUT TIME YOU ASKED! WANT SOME??" sorry, he sounds like a loser. This is exactly what I was thinking— what is the correct answer to this question?! Ugh, this guy made me so mad!
MissBee Posted January 11, 2019 Posted January 11, 2019 (edited) I had connected with another on Match the other day. He offered me his cell phone number and said we should talk / text that way. I said alright and gave him mine. Our conversation went as such after "Hi how are you", "Is this the right number?". We discussed some general things (favorite movies, drinks, food, etc.) THen he got into some other territory which was questionable ...<snip> For me, this is a very boring conversation that wouldn't take off. Personally, a big thing I look for when I meet someone online or even in person and we exchange numbers and text is a level of there being easy flowing conversations, with banter, wit, jokes, smart remarks, interesting stuff where I'm super into it and smiling/laughing at my phone because the messages are flowing between us in a normal conversational tone. People asking me interview questions back and forth like that wouldn't work for me, as it feels very much just like a dry series of questions and answers versus an actual conversation that gives you a much greater sense of people's interaction style. So yea, when I'm online dating, that's my metric. If we can't have ease of convo where when my phone pings I can't wait to pick up on whatever funny, interesting, smart, ongoing convo we've been having...and it's just a series of "how are yous" "what is your favorite color?' "what do you like to eat ?" type stuff...that's a no for me. Nothing about that sparks my interest. Edited January 11, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Truncate quote 2
losangelena Posted January 11, 2019 Posted January 11, 2019 Putting aside whether or not the dude's questions were out of line... Who else is uncomfortable reading someone's private conversations, conversations that the person in question has NO IDEA are being splashed about online? If the dude's questions are out of line, how is publicly displaying a private conversation without permission not out of line? It’s not like she’s splashed his name, phone number, and photo on here. This is anonymous. Unless that man is a poster on here, he will never know, and we will never know who he is. 2
Geraltt Posted January 11, 2019 Posted January 11, 2019 It’s not like she’s splashed his name, phone number, and photo on here. This is anonymous. Unless that man is a poster on here, he will never know, and we will never know who he is. Just because we may never know who he is doesn't give the other party in the conversation an open invitation to publicly broadcast a private exchange. Where some may see "no harm, no foul", I see a betrayal of confidence against an unwitting victim.
edgygirl Posted January 11, 2019 Posted January 11, 2019 (edited) Why? His identity is not shown. OP needs help understanding her dating interactions. Totally fair and no harm done to anyone. Btw as someone said above I also died of boredom with this online interaction. For some reason these types os losers and time waters don't contact me anymore, I said it before and will say it again - my bio makes it clear I want: 1. A BRAIN 2. LTR 3. Someone who is interested in culture, politics, history, technology... INTELLECTUAL subjects 4. NO HOOKUPS 5. Someone who can carry a conversation instead of sending "hi how are you" "how is your day going" messages 6. etc Hence I never get these losers anymore. They don't even write me. Just because we may never know who he is doesn't give the other party in the conversation an open invitation to publicly broadcast a private exchange. Where some may see "no harm, no foul", I see a betrayal of confidence against an unwitting victim. Edited January 11, 2019 by edgygirl
chillii Posted January 11, 2019 Posted January 11, 2019 Putting aside whether or not the dude's questions were out of line... Who else is uncomfortable reading someone's private conversations, conversations that the person in question has NO IDEA are being splashed about online? If the dude's questions are out of line, how is publicly displaying a private conversation without permission not out of line? Yeah , l always feel very weird when people put their private messaging all over the net, not to mention all the full blow by blow descriptions of their sex life, those l just think wtf . but in this case , this moron deserves it . l'd actually love him to see this thread.
Author mortensorchid Posted January 11, 2019 Author Posted January 11, 2019 I am going to throw this one back as well because of his attitude. I think he's looking for a hookup as well. I don't get why it is that people just talk sex in the beginning if they are looking for something other than a hookup. If he is then he should not have said the things he said.
Author mortensorchid Posted January 11, 2019 Author Posted January 11, 2019 And after I went onto Match to do some adjustments to my profile he messages me through Match to ask if I still want to talk. Why doesn't he just text me since he has my number? Strange. Hence I am done with him.
Ruby Slippers Posted January 12, 2019 Posted January 12, 2019 If he mentions sex before you meet, he's a total waste of your time. Delete, and next.
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