She say's "I love you" and we never met.

[zouz71]

the last time this happened to me was last year , i ran ran as fast as I can

[Redhead14]

Bunny boiler alert . . .

[brent878]

Oh my god this is too funny.

 

This exact situation just happened to me. Got an I love you text after about 2 months of just texting and phone calls.

 

Still talking to her and we still say it. But. Do I actually love this person? Women say all sorts of things when turned on.

 

She maintains it's real. Who the heck knows. I am not going to tell you to run away because I don't know this person nor am I doing that in my own situation so that would be somewhat hypocritical. I do know it is possible to feel something reminiscent of love or infatuation via texts and phone calls. But yes, the person who said it to me also has a habit of ghosting and sounds eerily similar. Maybe we are talking to the same girl! Bahahahaha.

 

Wish I had better advice for you. I myself have no clue what to do. I do like her and don't want to screw it up but everyone I have mentioned this to thinks it is a major, major red flag.

[Mrs._December]

Oh she mentioned the Sex thing multiple times, but whether it's all talk and she is just a classic c**ktease is the question. I also worry about the Travis thing, totally forgot that one yikes!

 

She is kinda pissed off at me because I told her to slow down and lay off the sexting, so she doesn't message me as much anymore, sorta hurt her feelings as it seems she really had her head wrapped around sexting 2 days after we met on Match, was too much too soon for me, I had to pull the plug, even after the nude pics came, she is a lot younger than me too and is very attractive and well hot, I verified she is real via FB and her family's FB but there is something about her I just don't know yet. I'll sort it out on the trip, and watch out for the Ginzu to the back thing lol.

Jeez.

 

You must be young. Only the youngsters think Facebook is the 'official' benchmark for life, relationships, and verifying people.

 

Just because she's able to point you to a legit Facebook page doesn't mean she actually IS that person on that profile, just because she claims to be. Hell, I can start talking and chatting to someone on Match right now and point them to the FB page of ANYONE and claim to be them. Big deal. With about 15 minutes of skimming their profile, I can pick up enough info to pass myself off as them. It's not rocket science.

 

Don't be surprised when Miss Sext Queen 2019 suddenly ghosts you when you ride into town next week. It's much more likely she's either a 13 year old kid, an overweight guy or girl living in his/her mother's basement, or a bunch of teenage boys having a great laugh at your expense.

 

One last thought - she could also be a sex worker or cam girl using match as a place to meet potential clients, and that's why she's pushing the sex so hard (no pun intended).

Edited January 11, 2019 by Mrs._December

[Insoc]

Ever see the Jim Carrey movie, "Cable Guy"?

The faster they run at your door, the harder and further they bounce off.

That's the short advice.

 

It doesn't sound like you're fooling yourself that her feelings are legit or the intensity is going to last long, so if you're up for a chance for a ride on a crazy train and you've registered a DNA sample in case we don't hear from you again, enjoy. Then get the hell out of Dodge, or where ever she lives.

 

Experience after experience tells me that if you don't bail within the month, she certainly will so it's not like you're going to be hurting anyone's feelings or even making it awkward.

 

No, but I see your point. The more I read into her and her background report, tells me a story of dismay, she has a ton of addresses, that is moves around, way too much for what's considered normal, one criminal charge for assault that was dropped, told me she had a stalker incident once, is really private on information and lied about her last name or disclose things that normal people do after meeting. Never called me on the phone from home, ever..but she works from home.

 

On top of it she sent me photos that did not seem current, they seem to be a mix of older photos and never sent me a real time selfie when requested. She claimed they were real time, but I could tell they were not. Her looks never seemed consistent, hair color or appearance. I know she is legit, but I don't know what her angle is, seems like the classic c**ktease or a woman who likes to get men to give into her demands, then dump them after being used or for Sex.

 

So when you gather up all the flags, it's a lot of red. I'm still going to the city, she knows I'm coming but I don't expect her to be waiting for me now, she is pissed and not texting me back.

[Insoc]

So when are you meeting up?

 

Later this week, she knows my flights and where I'm staying, but I doubt she will come knocking now, she is ignoring me. I really like to meet her in person to put it all to rest and ask he wth she said "I love you", you know sit across a table in a public place and just ask normal questions, not through texts.

 

I'm not worried about getting knifed, she doesn't seem that crazy, maybe a nympho or some other disorder?

[Insoc]

With everything you have written here about her, I can't fathom why you'd bother meeting her.

 

There is already drama and you have never met this person. What does that tell you?

 

Probably because when I first started talking to her she seemed genuine and real down to earth with some minor red flags but I know some woman are scared of men on the internet and worry more so than Men do about Woman, Jody Arias aside.

 

I agree though, too much drama and I realize there is something going on with her that just isn't right based on all the evidence I collected, it's probably a blessing in disguise.

[Insoc]

Why are you giving this woman attention for free are you at least getting nudes? sexting? Anything other than acting like her personal best friend and psychologist?

 

Girls who don't want to meet up are either men pretending to be women, transexuals, or women who lied(''I'm 5'4'' and 110lbs'') when in reality they are 5'4'' and 170lbs at 30%body fat and now they're afraid the guy is not going to want them after they meet, because she's not what she said she was.

 

Forget about this woman and go meet women in real life.

 

I got several nudes and the sexting started 2 days after we met on Match, she called me 1 day after meeting. She never said anything dirty over the phone, only when texting. She is very attractive, blonde and after lot's of work online, know she is legit, but there are lot's of red flags on how current the pics are. She is 42, but lot's of the pics she sent looked like she was in her 30's, one looked late 20's. As stated there was no continuity in her photos, if I asked for a real time selfie,she sent something that didn't match the previous photo. Hair color and skin tone didn't match, several times she didn't show her face when she did send a photo that was real time, I asked and she got funny, but you can tell it's the same person, same hair, body and etc. just not the same color. So I suspect she is using older photos and not showing too much current, maybe she aged over the past 5 years or is bothered by being 40+?

 

If it's not her, it's someone that knows her like a book and has access to all her photos, since I talked to her on the phone and text, she disclosed things that I searched and found a connection. I can only expect, if a Catfish, it's one hell of a good one and maybe a Room mate of hers? She say's she lives alone and has a Dog, but I don't know if that's true? Some people are good at taking on the persona of their room mates, since they have access to their computers and know all the details of their lives and can go into character.

 

It just didn't seem that way with her but who knows?

Edited January 12, 2019 by Insoc

[Insoc]

Oh my god this is too funny.

 

This exact situation just happened to me. Got an I love you text after about 2 months of just texting and phone calls.

 

Still talking to her and we still say it. But. Do I actually love this person? Women say all sorts of things when turned on.

 

She maintains it's real. Who the heck knows. I am not going to tell you to run away because I don't know this person nor am I doing that in my own situation so that would be somewhat hypocritical. I do know it is possible to feel something reminiscent of love or infatuation via texts and phone calls. But yes, the person who said it to me also has a habit of ghosting and sounds eerily similar. Maybe we are talking to the same girl! Bahahahaha.

 

Wish I had better advice for you. I myself have no clue what to do. I do like her and don't want to screw it up but everyone I have mentioned this to thinks it is a major, major red flag.

 

I see your point and it might be the same woman if she is 42 and has blonde hair lol. She told me the nudes she sent were never sent to anyone else, but why do I have a hard time believing that? She told me she was getting text from other men, but was focusing on me soley that changed but she still was interested in me and even created a fake account on Match to message me and ask me questions, I knew it was her incognito trying to fish info. I played along.

 

Due to distance thing and the fact we just couldn't meet in a few days or week after meeting, it created a lot of tension and issues, just wasn't good. I told her to slow down and that she is moving too fast, then we got into an fight over text, she disappeared, I was able to patch things up a week later she was okay but still not acting the same way but knew my trip was booked and was nosing around on my plans.

 

Red Flags galore, it probably would have lasted anyways if it went smoothly, because she may be one of those woman who enjoys multiple men or being chased, along with the game of it all. I can see by where she lives the weather sucks and there isn't much to do but sit in the house and go on Match and play games.

[Insoc]

Jeez.

 

You must be young. Only the youngsters think Facebook is the 'official' benchmark for life, relationships, and verifying people.

 

Just because she's able to point you to a legit Facebook page doesn't mean she actually IS that person on that profile, just because she claims to be. Hell, I can start talking and chatting to someone on Match right now and point them to the FB page of ANYONE and claim to be them. Big deal. With about 15 minutes of skimming their profile, I can pick up enough info to pass myself off as them. It's not rocket science.

 

Don't be surprised when Miss Sext Queen 2019 suddenly ghosts you when you ride into town next week. It's much more likely she's either a 13 year old kid, an overweight guy or girl living in his/her mother's basement, or a bunch of teenage boys having a great laugh at your expense.

 

One last thought - she could also be a sex worker or cam girl using match as a place to meet potential clients, and that's why she's pushing the sex so hard (no pun intended).

 

I'm not young, I'm 50 and have enough knowledge to do background reports on Whitepages.com (got to pay for them $20) and she didn't point me to her FB page, she just mentioned it and asked if I had one, she said her's was private which it is, but it shows her full real name and a carton picture of herself.

 

She never gave me her real last name, she gave me a fake name, but I was able to piece it together and find it by her telling me about her family details, no names but where they lived and ages, she told me that and where she lived. Not too hard to do, I found FB pages for her family, saw that she was commenting and liking photos, and that the Mother was talking to her, so that's that.

 

After a few hours of Googling and using the internet for people searches, I found all her details, addresses, age, DOB and all her family, ages and DOB along with addresses. I even found pictures of her siblings and saw a resemblance.

 

So everything added up to her being "real", but it doesn't mean someone that lives with her, like a female room mate isn't portraying her. It's highly possible and this person knows details but is sketchy on doing too much. I suspected that or that she is living with a man or boyfriend and lying about it.

 

The sex worker thing also passed my mind, since that is what she rushed into so fast and I heard stories of people getting into that thinking they are going to have casual sex then find out the woman wants $600 or $1000 at the end. I thought call girl or online porn, because she say's she works from home in IT, but wouldn't go into detail or tell me much about it. She had nice cars, and was paying a lot of rent, sounded like $ wasn't an issue. So I was somewhat dubious, but based on her family and siblings lives, that they wouldn't accept that but anything is possible I guess? It's easy to think things, but much of it can be in your head too, problem with long distance relationships, you can get paranoid over things that are not even fact, but her actions didn't help me there at all.

[Happy Lemming]

After a few hours of Googling and using the internet for people searches, I found all her details, addresses, age, DOB and all her family, ages and DOB along with addresses. I even found pictures of her siblings and saw a resemblance.

 

A few hours?? OMG!! Is that what OLD is like?? It sounds like you are skip-tracing a bail jumper or debtor... Is this necessary?? You have to spend this much time & resources "vetting" people out??

 

I'm 53 and I've never done anything like this, but I don't use OLD.

[preraph]

I bet she's hoping to find some lonely desperate guy who will send her money and gifts. anyway it's just a lot of red flags. at the bare minimum she's a little crazy

[Insoc]

A few hours?? OMG!! Is that what OLD is like?? It sounds like you are skip-tracing a bail jumper or debtor... Is this necessary?? You have to spend this much time & resources "vetting" people out??

 

I'm 53 and I've never done anything like this, but I don't use OLD.

 

Not sure what you mean by "OLD"? I'm 3 years younger than you lol.

 

Well for a Long Distance Relationship with someone who is not telling you information on themselves after ample enough time to disclose it, but knows everything about you because you are open, I like to know what I'm getting into. I found her to be a little evasive and doing things like never calling from home which made me believe she was married or living with a BF. I did see she was not married but there was no way to tell she was living with a BF, since so many names came up with hers, some she told me about, previous LTR Boyfriend.

 

The fact she never, ever called me from home was a big red flag for me and concerned me, always when she was out and she worked from home. She also never answered the phone when I called her, she only called me and never said anything about it, if I brought it up, she avoided talking about it.

 

I have met some people prior years ago, back when all that existed was chat rooms and ICQ that were lying to me about their current relationship status, some were married but said they were single, one I called on the phone and heard someone walking around coughing in the background, I said "who is that?" she goes, "what? You are hearing things", I"m all alone I told you that!"

 

So take it as you may, knowing what your getting into and validating what someone tells you for me is worth it to me, with this woman, as much honesty as there was, I also saw a ton of red flags and avoidance of my questions on why she didn't answer when I called her.

 

I also found out she is a liar, lied about a death in the family saying the reason she didn't respond to me for 3 days was because her relative in another state died and she was there. It sounded odd, so I looked at her Sister's FB page and I saw that this said relative was on vacation with the Sister and her family in the tropics and was in pictures at the same time the above claim was made. So I proved my point.

 

Intel is valuable, nothing wrong with knowing what your getting into, reason companies do background checks, reference checks and etc. when they hire you.

 

Of course, if a Woman is local, I don't go into this detail at all, it's only for LDR's which I plan to avoid from here on out, not worth it anymore.

[Insoc]

I bet she's hoping to find some lonely desperate guy who will send her money and gifts. anyway it's just a lot of red flags. at the bare minimum she's a little crazy

 

I suspect that too, she may prey on Match for recent divorcees who are vulnerable, that was me.

 

She never asked about money or gifts though, she was doing good for herself it seemed financially and had a good job. It was a mix of legitimate stuff and then sexting which came on too quick, after day 2 of meeting her online and talking to her on the phone, she was sexting me, which seemed awfully quick. Never on the phone, only via text.

 

She seemed overly focused on that subject and wanting to meet me soon, but when I proposed meeting her in a week or two, she said she was nervous and it was too soon, then she would flip back a day later and say don't wait come up. Lot's of red flags, if you want to meet and have sex, then don't be so wishy washy!

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

Not sure what you mean by "OLD"? I'm 3 years younger than you lol.

 

 

OLD= Online Dating

[Insoc]

OLD= Online Dating

 

I see now, yes well with all the Catfish, people posing as someone they are not and scammers, one cannot be too careful, Whitepages only charges $20 for a background report, $20 well spent IMHO.

 

I'm done with the long distance thing, just isn't worth the hassle.

[edgygirl]

Weird... I never had to do any background checks, felt the need to stalk people too hard to make sure they're real, nor have I really met super shady people. But maybe males are the ones mostly in their crosshairs.

[Insoc]

Weird... I never had to do any background checks, felt the need to stalk people too hard to make sure they're real, nor have I really met super shady people. But maybe males are the ones mostly in their crosshairs.

 

I did because it was a LDR thing, she was being evasive even after I gave her all my personal info and full name, a month later. She kept saying, "come visit" then when I told her I can get a flight in 2 weeks, she said "Nervous", then next day she would say it again, don't wait come and then I would look at flights and she would repeat the same line.

 

There was so many red flags, I was getting suspicious, though I felt she was real I felt she wasn't telling me her situation and I didn't want to subject myself to finding this out after the fact or getting more emotionally attached.

 

I'm sure I had background reports pulled on me, just never knew.

 

She had some shady qualities, or just a bad way of communication that made her look such.

[edgygirl]

I wouldn't waste my time like this without at least doing FaceTime video chat to see if it's a real person. Better than all the background checks and stalking. But she sounds like a nutso, and all over emotionally speaking, so I wouldn't even go there anyway

[Insoc]

I wouldn't waste my time like this without at least doing FaceTime video chat to see if it's a real person. Better than all the background checks and stalking. But she sounds like a nutso, and all over emotionally speaking, so I wouldn't even go there anyway

 

I should have proposed that but suspected she would have said no way, because she wouldn't send me a real time selfie either, only once did she send one and her face was turned away from the camera, but the hair and body looked identical to the other pics she sent. Weird to say the least, she asked me for real time snaps, and I sent her plenty.

 

So that was a big red flag for me.

 

I'm going to the city this week for business, just happened to work out that way, but I'm steering clear of her now. Wouldn't work anyways after thinking about it, we'd meet and maybe hook-up because she was harping with me of doing it, but I suspected a no show lol, even if so and the feeling came, it probably wouldn't last vs a local as long because I'd have to leave and the pressure would be on.

[I'veseenbetterlol]

Huge RED FLAG. This could be one of 2 things, either she is crazy or she is love bombing you. If she is crazy you do not want that. On the other hand if this is love bombing, she will disappear like a flash and everything will come crashing down. I met a guy who talked about marriage before he even met me. He love bombed me for 2 dates, then went completely cold.

[Insoc]

Huge RED FLAG. This could be one of 2 things' date=' either she is crazy or she is love bombing you. If she is crazy you do not want that. On the other hand if this is love bombing, she will disappear like a flash and everything will come crashing down. I met a guy who talked about marriage before he even met me. He love bombed me for 2 dates, then went completely cold.[/quote']

 

Love Bombing, good point.

 

I also think the fact she was sexting me and sending nude pics without me asking was another red flag, also this was happening within 2 days of meeting her online. I just don't think that is normal, but I'm new to dating.

[Insoc]

Well I went to the said city this past weekend, though this woman knew my flight numbers, hotel I was staying at and etc, we never connected.

 

Me being me, I felt bad since I don't like to hurt someone's feelings and had a crush on her as she did with me, "Love" no, not even there yet but felt maybe she slipped in her choice of words. I sent her a text with a picture of me next to the airport sign to prove I was there, just to prove I wasn't playing games since she called me a flip flopper often, like I was indecisive on meeting her or getting to know her.

 

I offered to meet her in a public place, told her I would be at this restaurant sitting at the bar at a designated time, just wanted to get any misconceptions of her off of my mind. Well I never heard from her or saw her, nothing.

 

Was weird being there, her area and how she didn't want to meet me in person. I think the whole "I love you" thing was just a ploy in the end. I also saw she hided her Match profile, but was back on line for a few hours the last night I was there, but then hid it again.

 

I sent her farewell/best wishes text at the airport to her, was all positive and saying good about her even with the issues, got no reply, just to give me closure, saying wish we could have met in person since we just talked on the phone and texted way too much. I also wanted to see if the pics match who she was.

 

So while I still think of her, was developing some feelings, I have to find a way to get her off of my mind, not easy when I have decided to postpone my dating and search until after I'm Divorced, so there is nobody else to help me get her off of my mind. Appears I got myself into a precarious position here, get hooked on one woman I never met but got into my head quite good, now I can't get her out of my head even with lot's of red flags.

 

I think her last text(s) were revenge texts, she knew I was coming to her City but had no intentions to meet me, was just winding me up, hoping to get me back for hurting her previously. I sorta knew this, but was unsure.

Edited January 21, 2019 by Insoc