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When to seek counselling ?


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Posted

Hi ladies

 

I am an unhappily married woman for the last 2 years. Me and husband live like two room mates under the same roof. I want to change but am unsure whether that would be something he wants too.

 

I guess my question is at what stage would you go and seek for professional help? If your husband is not on aboard with the idea of counselling, would you go ahead by yourself?

 

Any comments would be highly appreciated!

Posted

After 2 years I think getting help is in order. Do start on your own but when you approach him talk about how his refusal to participate is eroding the foundation of your marriage. Remind him of your vows & how not engaging violates those promises.

Posted

Tell him up front, we are either going to counciling together or going to see separate attorneys.

Posted

Hi Healthy, and thanks for sharing.

 

Have you and he actually sat down, face-to-face, and discussed these things, in a calm, rational manner?

 

So many things can relatively easily be figured out if people would simply communicate with each other.

 

  • "This is what I need in a relationship."

 

  • "What do you need? What are your expectations?"

 

  • "If we come to an impasse, how do we manage it?"

I'd be hesitant to leap in to counselling just yet, because not ever counsellor is a good one; some (many, alas) have biases that aren't conducive to ensuring good advice. Just as you should never buy first car you look at car, or the first house you walk through, or marry the first person you date, you should probably not settle on the first counsellor you see. Some are good; many are not.

Posted

Why do you live like roommates? You don’t do date nights?

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