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How do I have the conversation about paying half for rent, etc? Moving in together

pandagirl2018

By pandagirl2018
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Happy Lemming Established Member

Happy Lemming

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Financially I think it's silly to be paying for two places. That is why I suggest him renting it out to recover the costs.

 

It is a lot more difficult to sell a house that has a renter in it. You would have to disclose that fact and provide a copy of the lease to the potential buyer.

 

The house will sell quicker if its clean and tastefully furnished/staged. (without a renter)

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pandagirl2018 Established Member

pandagirl2018

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It is a lot more difficult to sell a house that has a renter in it. You would have to disclose that fact and provide a copy of the lease to the potential buyer.

 

The house will sell quicker if its clean and tastefully furnished/staged. (without a renter)

 

Yes, that's exactly the reason why he prefers not to rent and just sell it.

Ruby Slippers Established Member

Ruby Slippers

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Posted

At the least he needs to pay half the bills or go home.

  • Like 1
Happy Lemming Established Member

Happy Lemming

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Yes, that's exactly the reason why he prefers not to rent and just sell it.

 

And some buyers might want a quick close and not want to wait 30 days or deal with a holdover tenant.

 

I sold one house & the buyers wanted a quick close, so I had to throw all of my crap in storage and rent a room in a boarding house. No way I could have pulled that off if there was a renter involved.

Art_Critic Established Member

Art_Critic

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My guy thought we had magical cupboards that sprouted cereal and snacks miraculously.

 

hahaha.. My Wife thinks money just shows up in the checking account miraculously :laugh:

 

This just seems like an expectation issue, once the expectations are set all should be good..

I doubt either of you are looking to take advantage of the other...

I think he should split the bills with you now and once his house is sold he should pay half the rent.

 

Of course.. personally I have always been the opposite of splitting bills.. just tacky to me since I always made more than any GF I lived with..

 

I always paid for all the bills and mortgage back in the day.. just like now in my marriage since my wife is a SAHM we just have one income.

 

 

Keep us updated once you talk this out with him..

darkmoon Established Member

darkmoon

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moocher alert!

 

 

unless he pulls out his wallet once you ask for money, you have an extra mouth to feed

 

 

 

some guys do mooch a bit, they like the easy life, seen it a few times, it goes on

 

 

ask him, see if he gets his wallet out, groceries and bills go 50/50, that is standard, chores too

Edited by darkmoon
smackie9 Established Member

smackie9

Posted
Posted
Yes, that's exactly the reason why he prefers not to rent and just sell it.

Then he should just stay there until it does sell. Why spend the extra cost of two places. That money could be better spent elsewhere.

Sunlight72 Established Member

Sunlight72

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Something that hasn't been mentioned yet -

 

When you say he moved in, does that mean he moved in furniture, dishes, clothes, pictures/artwork on the wall, tools, old photos & books, etc., etc.,?

 

Or does that mean he is sleeping at your place?

 

If the former, he should be paying rent, and he should also have space to put all his stuff comfortably, and for his friends/relatives to sleep if they come to visit for an afternoon or for a few days.

 

If the latter, then in my opinion you all should take this strongly into account when deciding how big his portion of the bills should be. Like 20% or 35% or something seems more in line to me, as he is a guest at your invitation (which you could rescind at any moment, on any whim meaning he needs another place to stay lined up at all times).

 

Also in this case - he will need to maintain another home or storage, and this isn't his home. You will get to make all the decisions on who can visit when and for how long, how your home is decorated, how dishes are done, how often laundry and cleaning of the floors/bathroom are done, what cable/internet plan you subscribe to, if you sublet the other room to help pay the rent, or if/when you move to another apartment and if that next place is more expensive or less expensive, etc., etc.

 

Keep these things in mind when talking about the rent. If it is fair for him to pay 1/2, then he also gets 1/2 the vote on decisions, and gets a large part of the space for his chosen or mutually chosen use.

Edited by Sunlight72
  • Like 5
MaleIntuition Established Member

MaleIntuition

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Are you guys really ready to move in together if you don’t even know how to bring up a fairly simple practical question like this?

 

6 month of dating isn’t a long time in my book...

  • Like 4
d0nnivain Established Member

d0nnivain

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Full STOP.

 

You have only known each other for 6 months. It's waaaaayyyy too soon to cohabitate. Do not even talk about moving in together until you have dated at least one full year; the younger you are the longer that time frame.

 

If you can't even figure out how to have a practical, necessary conversation, you may not be mature enough to live together. If you can't manage to say How are the bills going to be split? how the heck to except to be able to talk about real issues?

 

While he still owns the house, spend more time there then at your place if you can't afford to absorb the increased utilities from his presence.

  • Like 1
edgygirl Established Member

edgygirl

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I'm a little surprised by you thinking he shouldn't pay as he's still paying his mortgage and bills in his own house. That's his problem, not hers. And what was the thought and purpose behind suggesting to move in with her when he is still paying mortgage on another house?

 

The fair share is him paying at least half the bills of the place he's currently living in (her place), including half the rent.

 

I'm surprised they didn't discuss all this though before moving in together. And her inability to discuss something so simple shows they shouldn't have moved in together. OP is he leasing his house to someone and making money out of it?

 

You in essence are asking him to pay all the mortgage on his place, all the bills on his place, half your rent and half your bills...

 

I'm all for paying more than my fair share but that doesn't seem right..

Edited by edgygirl
  • Like 1
Kitty Tantrum Established Member

Kitty Tantrum

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With the situation as you've described it, I think it would be fair for him to cover the ACTUAL BURDEN associated with him being there. He should absolutely be chipping in for food and utilities, but why half of the rent? Is he using half of the space? Did he move all of his stuff in? Is he on the lease?

 

Right now it sounds like you essentially still have separate residences and he just stays over most of the time. Asking him to pay half of your rent wouldn't make the finances "balanced" at all. His share of the burden would be disproportionately greater than yours.

 

I think you would be wise to continue paying the rent on your own until you reach the point where you're actually merging households. Otherwise you're going to get used to the decreased burden and start committing those dollars you've saved on rent to other things - and if this situation doesn't pan out and he decides to break it off and go back to his place, you'll be in a bad spot when you're stuck paying the full amount again.

 

It sounds like reducing your own financial burden might have been a substantial motivator in your decision to let him stay with you, and frankly that's a horrible reason to move forward in a relationship.

  • Like 4
Simple Logic Established Member

Simple Logic

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Sit down and have a discussion. It is likely your income levels and financial obligations differ. The two of you decide was possible. It may not be fair at all.

Mrs._December Established Member

Mrs._December

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Yes. I live in a nice 2 bedroom house in a nice location, and he was living in a small 1 bedroom flat in a not as nice location.

No wonder he's so anxious to move in with you after only 6 months.

 

ETA: The other poster that mentioned division of chores made an EXCELLENT point. I think he's seeing your nice place all clean and everything running as a home should, and he's thinking he's going to be staying at a fine hotel while you run your ass off STILL doing everything like you are now..

 

Don't ignore that division of chores talk - you BOTH work so you BOTH should share the domestic chores evenly.

Edited by Mrs._December
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