ezimena Posted January 9, 2019 Posted January 9, 2019 (edited) we got to know each other on the Internet. We couldn't see each other right away because I was not at home over the holidays. While I was on my trip, we chatted and flirted for hours. I'm usually very skeptical about online dating, but it seemed great! He even offered to stay with him when I returned. I said let's have a drink first. On my return I met him and the chemistry was right, after a few hours we went to him, talked and ended up in bed. The sex was very good in my opinion, he also described it as intense. The next morning we went for breakfast and spent a few hours together in town before saying goodbye. On the same evening he also wrote to me and also the following days we wrote, but the flirting stayed completely away and he did not ask me directly after a second date. He just said he had to work a lot. Then I said that hopefully he would still find time for us to meet. I may sound like a teenager, but I'd like to go on a second date to see how it goes. I really liked the first one. But since he doesn't flirt so much in the chat anymore, I'm not sure if he wants to see me again or if he just wants to be polite. So can someone please just give me a few words of wisdom to ease my troubled mind? Does he seems to be interested? Or Maybe I am just a impatient Edited January 9, 2019 by ezimena
losangelena Posted January 9, 2019 Posted January 9, 2019 The biggest piece of advice I’d give you is just to wait it out. A lot of guys come on hot and heavy at the beginning and fade out after sex, especially early sex. If he swings back around, he will. He doesn’t sound super interested, but you never know sometimes. Just wait. In the grand scheme of things, I’d recommend not going to bed with a guy so early in knowing him unless you’re confident that you’d feel fine never hearing from him again. Because there’s a good chance you won’t. 1
AriesDude Posted January 9, 2019 Posted January 9, 2019 couldnt have said it better than los. I would advise waiting but not for too long. 2-4 days at the most. It sounds like he had an amazing date with you but the fact that he isnt spamming your inbox right now is concerning. Especially if he used the word intense. I have super attractive male friends that I would seriously take on a date if i wasnt straight and even they confess it's almost impossible to keep in your desires to call someone every 15 minutes when you fancy them a lot. So this guy is either really busy or unfortunately not interested in putting in much more effort in wooing you seeing as he already "had you" as players say. So just be a little patient for a few days. If he sweeps you off your feet again via text or dates he is a keeper...otherwise please move on.
Redhead14 Posted January 9, 2019 Posted January 9, 2019 I always tell women that the first time they sleep with a guy, especially after only a 1st or 2nd date, she should assume it will be a one-night stand, until he shows her otherwise -- i.e. by maintaining contact and scheduling another date or dates . . . Good luck. The fact that this guy suggested staying with him before you'd even met or had a drink says to me he was only looking for sex anyway. Don't sleep with men on first dates really. It's a matter of safety. You shouldn't be alone with strange men so soon. Even if you want to sleep with them, you don't know if they will hurt you, rob you, etc. Be a little more safety-conscious for you own sake. 3
mortensorchid Posted January 9, 2019 Posted January 9, 2019 This sounds like a hookup to me. Don't be disappointed if it doesn't go anywhere. 2
d0nnivain Posted January 9, 2019 Posted January 9, 2019 Since you already had sex, he sees no reason for a 2nd date. Move on to another guy. If he pops back up & chases you, then you can revisit whether you want to see him but from where I sit he's make unflattering sexist judgments about your moral character & on that basis has concluded he no longer values you. Translation: he used you for sex & is now applying a double standard. 1
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