never talking to my ex again?

[nowornever1]

so this is what happend, my ex has been hot and cold for about a month and a half, at one point i went over and we slept together and cuddled, its been just crazy. power control from her , we were getting along great for a bit, and then last night she asked me to sleep over, she wanted to cuddle. i messaged her today and confronted her on all the crap shes been doing, and it set her off like a bomb. sending me hurtful careless long messages, even on the phone she would constantly just over talk me n yell and throwing excuses n telling me she would never get back with me.

 

all because i asked her WHY she would ask me to sleep over and cuddle. her excuse was i started it months ago when i flirted with her. she asked me that when i didnt talk to her for 2 days of cutting her off. im now sick of this sick game shes been playing where she pulls me in the stomps on me like im nothing at all, and the more nice and loving i was the more she hated me.

 

so i now have started no contact, even though we have a child. i will contact one word replies , but no more conversations, no more answering questions, no morewhat ever she wanted from me. just no more, i learned that if she doesnt want a family with me and she thinks that im not good enough for her, then why bother trying? like i held on so tight because i thought our love was real. but i guess only mine was. oh well day one again. ill update this post regularly

[SevenCity]

Right attitude. Sorry this happened but it sounds like hell to deal with.

 

For future, never sleep in a woman's bed unless you are currently having sex. She used you as a warm body.

[d0nnivain]

You share a child. NC is not a luxury open to you. You & this woman are connected for life. Find a way to be civil for your child's sake.

 

As for the cuddling, she wanted a warm body. You are an EX for a reason but she knew what she was in for cuddling etc with you.

 

When you sent her a message & confronted her about all the crap she's being doing you lit the fuse to that bomb. First of all, messaging is no way to deal with real issues. Those require context & you need all the non-verbal cues that come from face to face communication. If your intent was to screw up everything congrats you succeeded. If you wanted to clear the air you could not have picked a worse forum. Never ever discuss sensitive things using anything other than face to face communication. Text, messaging, social media etc only make things worse as you have found out.

 

You know where she stands & you are alert to her push/pull game playing. You need to be apart from her but there for your child. Stop flirting. Limit communication to your child. Be polite. Build from there but stop thinking that reconciling the romance is an option or that you will ever be a happy family. Your goal is peaceful co-existence for your child's sake.

[Twizzlestick]

Mmm. I’ve been there years ago in the past. I take a basic view. She’s an adult, she knows what she’s doing, too many times folk are given a leave pass. You’re both in it but as a dumpee you’re more emotionally compromised and vulnerable than the dumper. It’s psychology. So I actually take a dim view when dumpers “take the xxxx”. I’ve been a dumper myself and tempting as it was, I had enough about me to do “the right thing” by the dumpee and not bs them.

 

Yeah texts have that affect, big deal. To be fair she’s an adult and blew up because you prob hit a nerve that she was part of something not right. Some folk don’t take self responsibi well and tend to farm it out as a projection. Shows up as anger when being called out. So yeah, texts have that affect but quite honestly she had it coming using you as a pillow. She’s a grown adult for crying out loud.

 

As mentioned, you’ve got to protect yourself too so you’re right by backing off her and keeping it polite and centred around your child. That’s the serious thing. Make sure your child is protected and when you two are interacting it’s always such that the kiddie won’t pick up on bad vibes.

 

Good luck. Feel your agony. Fellow dumpee here (raises quivering hand)

[loversquarrel]

You two aren't together so she shouldn't be contacting you and making requests as if you are. She also doesn't have the right to berate you, scream at you, etc. for you calling her out on something to do with the state of your relationship. Texting or not she's the one making these requests, she knows what she's doing. Be strong, tell her to stop and accept only communication regarding your child.

 

I do agree with a previous poster that face to face communication is always better than texting as context and inflection can be misinterpreted. That being said, I'd probably avoid face to face and speak via phone instead due to her volatile reaction towards you.