princessjulieanne Posted September 16, 2005 Posted September 16, 2005 I have been involved for the past 6 months with a married man. Bought the whole no sex with my wife, she's a nag typical stories although I have heard her screaming at him on the cell phone a few times so believe that but not entirely sure about the no sex. But I do know he is looking for other outlets besides me for sex as he's left his msn on at the office where I go a couple of days a week to help out. I now sign off the internet before I do anything as I just don't want to see the truth. Unfortunately the truth has hit me upside the head and I obviously can't deny it anymore. He tells me we are in an exclusive relationship but I know we are not. We have gone from several calls a day including one on his drive to work and one when he's walking the dogs at night which have stopped. I have given him several opportunites and have told him I am willing to work the couple of days a week in his office but just keep the relationship to friendship and no sex. He said if I felt that way he would prefer I not work at the office because he didn't want men to feel like he was only having sex with me because I was helping him outhe says one has nothing to do with the other. Friendship wise we do get along very well and he is very supportive. I guess my dilema in all this is I'm actually getting a bit past the hurt stage and moving on to the angry stage. I am off tomorrow which is the only day that I have been off in two weeks. I know he will be calling when he gets to the office and I'm seriously thinking about avoiding his calls...but to me thats playing games and I don't want to do that but I don't want him to think he can walk all over me (which yes I know I have been doing). He's being playing this come into the office for a few hours to help out and then we can slip away but it doesn't seem to happen something always comes up. It used to hurt me to know end when I saw that he was going onto this website to pick up women now its actually more anger that I feel gradually moving to indifference. Should I end it now on friendly terms before I really begin to resent him or tell him he doesn't owe me anything except I d expect him to use condoms at all times. Any help or advice would be expected and yes I know there is going to be a few nasty comments but I've asked for it. Julie
Zaira Posted September 16, 2005 Posted September 16, 2005 The guy is using you. Cut your losses and walk away now. It will continue to hurt, and you'll continue to be angry for awhile, but it will pass. Although, if you're working in the same office it could be difficult. In your position I would probably be looking at changing jobs
DesertDweller Posted September 16, 2005 Posted September 16, 2005 I agree with Zaira. If you read these posts, you know your chances for a happy ending are slim to none. Why prolong the inevitable?
Gift Of Gab Posted September 19, 2005 Posted September 19, 2005 End it and learn not get into this kind of situation again. Remember, one day YOU may be the WIFE! Would you want someone doing to you what you have done to her? It dont' matter if they fuss, fight, and NEVER have sex! That is THEIR business....their marriage. You have been played girlfriend...and it serves ya right.
Author princessjulieanne Posted October 22, 2005 Author Posted October 22, 2005 Well the saga continues, I know for a fact that he has been seeing several other women besides me. Not making an excuse for him but it seems as if he needs sexual conquests to make himself feel better and more confident as a man. He is so good at what he does I can't believe I didn't see that he was a player. I don't know if I've offically started NC yet, but I know he spent the day yesterday with another woman. So last night I left a message on his work cell number, saying it was over that I knew about his other "friend". Its now Saturday and sometimes he can get away to make a call and sometimes he can't part of me so wants to take his call and yet I feel I should just ignore his calls. I am suppose to work in his office Tuesday & Wednesday next week and I don't know if I should just not go in or go to talk to him. I work on my two days off for him for free thought I was helping him get his business off the ground but ironically enough it seems to help him get out of the office to meet with other women. He cheats with you he'll cheat on you, my mother was so right. So hopefully if there is someone reading this whose thinking about getting involved with someone who is married, please don't save yourself the pain and hurt its a dead end road with a brick wall at the end.
lust4life Posted October 22, 2005 Posted October 22, 2005 He tells me we are in an exclusive relationship but I know we are not. Okay, he is married, of course you were not in an exclusive relationship. STDS, hpv, gential warts, herpes, hiv, etc...should be reason enough not to have any sexual contact with a man you KNOW is involved, married is invoved. http://www.rism.ac.th/clinic/webfolio/STD.html HPV is an std that is JUST because a man or women has multiple partners and this is major cause of cervical cancer. I do hope that your thread is read by many women, like you said. Good luck to you.
Author princessjulieanne Posted October 23, 2005 Author Posted October 23, 2005 Thank you for the advice Sami and yes I am ending this affair tomorrow when I am able to talk to him face to face. I'm worried that he may have a sexual addiction and want to talk to him to see if he would possibly get some help before he destroys all that he has and I don't mean his relationship with me I mean his business and his home life.
teressa0397 Posted October 24, 2005 Posted October 24, 2005 Well the saga continues, I know for a fact that he has been seeing several other women besides me. Not making an excuse for him but it seems as if he needs sexual conquests to make himself feel better and more confident as a man. He is so good at what he does I can't believe I didn't see that he was a player. I don't know if I've offically started NC yet, but I know he spent the day yesterday with another woman. So last night I left a message on his work cell number, saying it was over that I knew about his other "friend". Its now Saturday and sometimes he can get away to make a call and sometimes he can't part of me so wants to take his call and yet I feel I should just ignore his calls. I am suppose to work in his office Tuesday & Wednesday next week and I don't know if I should just not go in or go to talk to him. I work on my two days off for him for free thought I was helping him get his business off the ground but ironically enough it seems to help him get out of the office to meet with other women. He cheats with you he'll cheat on you, my mother was so right. So hopefully if there is someone reading this whose thinking about getting involved with someone who is married, please don't save yourself the pain and hurt its a dead end road with a brick wall at the end. I walk away from an affair after being with him for 11 years. yes it hurts like hell. { its stressful} you hurt[ you cry } you are an pain} only healing there are is to let go of the affair. walk away.
Author princessjulieanne Posted October 24, 2005 Author Posted October 24, 2005 I did it, don't know how, actually still a bit numb but I told him that I couldn't see him anymore and that I knew about the other women, he tried to deny it but I saw all the emails from her and know she exists. I do hope he gets some help as I seriously think he has an addiction but that is something he has to work out I need to now deal with the hurt and lonliness. Valuable lesson learned as nice as the person may be if they are willing to cheat that makes them not so nice. Not blaming him totally by the way but just want to possibly sway others to not take the same painful road. Gittergurl I am sorry if your husband is cheating on you but it takes two and he is to blame also.
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