Wallysbears Posted January 8, 2019 Posted January 8, 2019 Please do not try to mis-interpret my idea on purpose just because you don't like me personally. I was saying for a guy like him, he needs to take babysteps first, which is getting used to the female bodies. And the fastest and easiest way to gain access to female bodies are by paying them. And there's nothing bad about that and please don't start a debate about the moral and legal aspect of prostitution or erotic massages. And the fact that you, a woman, is getting all upset about me and my ideas proves that I am f**king right haha. I never said there was anything wrong with massages, escorts, prostitution or porn. Just that they aren’t real. Advising a man to pay for those experiences so he will know how to interact in the real world is like suggesting you play video games to know how to relate in real life. They aren’t the same. You could be a complete tool and a working woman is going to tell you anything you want to hear because that’s how she pays her mortgage. Doesn’t mean she doesn’t joke about you after.
manfrombelow2 Posted January 8, 2019 Posted January 8, 2019 What you just said is not wrong, but again, irrelevant to my post. And since I don't own you anything, I refuse to keep on arguing with you to prove my point is right, because it's pointless for me to do so with someone like you. See you later, honey. I never said there was anything wrong with massages, escorts, prostitution or porn. Just that they aren’t real. Advising a man to pay for those experiences so he will know how to interact in the real world is like suggesting you play video games to know how to relate in real life. They aren’t the same. You could be a complete tool and a working woman is going to tell you anything you want to hear because that’s how she pays her mortgage. Doesn’t mean she doesn’t joke about you after.
alphamale Posted January 8, 2019 Posted January 8, 2019 But does experience with escorts lead to confidence with women or does it just lead to more experiences with escorts? Especially for "the strugglers". who knows? each man will behave differently. he just needs to learn that women are harmless
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted January 8, 2019 Posted January 8, 2019 ZA Dater, it's not at all true that nice guys finish last. I'm sorry about your most recent date. I have faith you will find the right connection!
BaileyB Posted January 8, 2019 Posted January 8, 2019 At the end of the day it's just the same old over and over again. It's progress. You did well, you both enjoyed your time together but she just wasn't feeling it. That's called "dating." Keep trying... 1
Author ZA Dater Posted January 8, 2019 Author Posted January 8, 2019 It's progress. You did well, you both enjoyed your time together but she just wasn't feeling it. That's called "dating." Keep trying... Not sure how to find any positive in this at all, the result is the same as it's always been. I am not interested in hanging out with her it's this same rubbish I have had before, it's just false. They are never in to me so which I construe as a looks thing.
Author ZA Dater Posted January 8, 2019 Author Posted January 8, 2019 Last time someone mentioned that he wasn't too keen. I kind of get that. He needs someone to want him for him and an escort would only be being nice to him for the money... Escort's and strippers don't interest me at all not even slightly. All they offer is the most false form of companionship but I do sometimes wonder if business dating isnt better if you can accept said last has lots of clients. I am getting nothing out of dating really, what is irritating is no matter what the result is the same and my reaction after is the same, just a little more disdain towards dating just a little less interest just a little more cynical. At the end of the day womemy have the ability to choose, guys like me don't.
MaleIntuition Posted January 8, 2019 Posted January 8, 2019 If I remember correctly you are still mostly going for ladies whom are considered “conventional” attractive? Consider “lowering” your standards for (picture)looks somewhat... Pictures don’t capture real life charisma.
Author ZA Dater Posted January 8, 2019 Author Posted January 8, 2019 If I remember correctly you are still mostly going for ladies whom are considered “conventional” attractive? Consider “lowering” your standards for (picture)looks somewhat... Pictures don’t capture real life charisma. No thank you. This one wasn't exactly super attractive.
MaleIntuition Posted January 8, 2019 Posted January 8, 2019 No thank you. This one wasn't exactly super attractive. Why not? Pictures never tells the full story. Attraction is more than picture-look.
Author ZA Dater Posted January 8, 2019 Author Posted January 8, 2019 Why not? Pictures never tells the full story. Attraction is more than picture-look. So have you taken this advice you dispense? Attraction is both physical and personality.
BaileyB Posted January 8, 2019 Posted January 8, 2019 Not sure how to find any positive in this at all, the result is the same as it's always been. I am not interested in hanging out with her it's this same rubbish I have had before, it's just false. They are never in to me so which I construe as a looks thing. If you say so, so shall it be.
some_username1 Posted January 8, 2019 Posted January 8, 2019 So have you taken this advice you dispense? Attraction is both physical and personality. Absolutely, but I think you need to take some responsibility at the same time. If you refuse to compromise then that is absolutely your choice to make, but complaining about it and being so bitter and cynical is not a good look because you are being very passive and helpless, like the world owes you what you can't seem to attract. Basically it is your choice not to compromise. It's a choice. You are keeping yourself in this prison of cynicism and bitterness. The solutions are to have a zen attitude and accept that you might be single forever but it's better than a bad deal, or do the necessary work to make sure you can attract the small pool of women that meet your requirements. Whichever path you choose, do it without complaint. Once you have made millions, achieved global stardom, bought a house, a yacht and have celebrity friends then maybe after all that hard work you might have a case to complain that you don't have the pick of the women! Tl;dr: take responsibility for your situation and put make sure that you are putting in what you are trying to get out. 2
MaleIntuition Posted January 8, 2019 Posted January 8, 2019 So have you taken this advice you dispense? Attraction is both physical and personality. To some extent yes. A couple of years ago I got to know a friend of a friend in real life. She had plenty of charisma and I wouldn’t have minded dating her. Very charismatic and pretty. Couple of month later I saw her profile on one of the dating apps. At first glance I would have swiped “No”. My point is: a picture never tells the true story.
MaleIntuition Posted January 8, 2019 Posted January 8, 2019 Another consideration. A lot of people seem to be looking for conventional attractive partners. Not because they themselves are nessecarly more attracted to them - but because they are seeking external validation. ”Look at me, my partner is attractive, therefore I must be successful. In today’s world of social media and so forth this is probably more true than ever. 3
elaine567 Posted January 8, 2019 Posted January 8, 2019 Another consideration. A lot of people seem to be looking for conventional attractive partners. Not because they themselves are nessecarly more attracted to them - but because they are seeking external validation. ”Look at me, my partner is attractive, therefore I must be successful. In today’s world of social media and so forth this is probably more true than ever. Agreed. Not good for the selfie addicted to wheel out some ugly guy or girl as the love of their life... not good for the image I guess.
manfrombelow2 Posted January 8, 2019 Posted January 8, 2019 I think it's in human nature, nothing bad about this. Another consideration. A lot of people seem to be looking for conventional attractive partners. Not because they themselves are nessecarly more attracted to them - but because they are seeking external validation. ”Look at me, my partner is attractive, therefore I must be successful. In today’s world of social media and so forth this is probably more true than ever.
losangelena Posted January 8, 2019 Posted January 8, 2019 Another consideration. A lot of people seem to be looking for conventional attractive partners. Not because they themselves are nessecarly more attracted to them - but because they are seeking external validation. ”Look at me, my partner is attractive, therefore I must be successful. In today’s world of social media and so forth this is probably more true than ever. I could not agree with this more.
lurker74 Posted January 8, 2019 Posted January 8, 2019 Escort's and strippers don't interest me at all not even slightly. All they offer is the most false form of companionship but I do sometimes wonder if business dating isnt better if you can accept said last has lots of clients. I am getting nothing out of dating really, what is irritating is no matter what the result is the same and my reaction after is the same, just a little more disdain towards dating just a little less interest just a little more cynical. At the end of the day womemy have the ability to choose, guys like me don't. Having never seen a picture, I can't comment 100% accurately, but guys like you likely do get to choose. I am a conventionally just ok looking guy. I get to choose all the time. That doesn't mean that I get every woman I want, but that if I want a second date, it's 95%+ of the time my choice. How? Because thankfully, women above the age of, say, 23, look for more than just physical attractiveness. I exude what they are looking for by the time of the first date or meet. You can too, but it's something you have to learn. And no...it's not about being a pick up artist. It's about recognizing that what is inside you is more important than what what you present physically. I cannot tell you how many women have told me that I physically turn them on more than anyone else before. But it's not because I have washboard abs or the perfectly square jawline. It's because I know how to attune myself to their desires and needs while at the same time remain something that is outside of their control. I'm not saying it's easy, only possible. But if I can do it, trust me, you can too.
losangelena Posted January 8, 2019 Posted January 8, 2019 Absolutely, but I think you need to take some responsibility at the same time. If you refuse to compromise then that is absolutely your choice to make, but complaining about it and being so bitter and cynical is not a good look because you are being very passive and helpless, like the world owes you what you can't seem to attract. Basically it is your choice not to compromise. It's a choice. You are keeping yourself in this prison of cynicism and bitterness. The solutions are to have a zen attitude and accept that you might be single forever but it's better than a bad deal, or do the necessary work to make sure you can attract the small pool of women that meet your requirements. Whichever path you choose, do it without complaint. Once you have made millions, achieved global stardom, bought a house, a yacht and have celebrity friends then maybe after all that hard work you might have a case to complain that you don't have the pick of the women! Tl;dr: take responsibility for your situation and put make sure that you are putting in what you are trying to get out. I also could not agree with this more. ZA, I’ve been thinking about the above in regards to your situation, and I think it’s a problem that you’re going to keep bumping into. We all know you have a certain set of standards you’re looking for in a woman, but simply finding a woman you want to date is not enough—she has to want to date you, too. That’s literally the most important facet in all of this. You’re so quick to assume you’re lacking success because there’s something “wrong” with you, but heck, you may just have to play a very long numbers game. A lot of people, people who have much less stringent requirements, have to go on a LOT of dates before they find someone they’re compatible with, who they want to date and who want to date them. Before I met my ex, I met over 40 other men who probably would have made decent partners, but they just weren’t meant to be. And in the end, finding someone who also wanted to date me didn’t matter, because we eventually broke up, anyway. The vast majority of dating is rejection. The VAST. Most people find one person with whom it works, if they’re lucky. So even when you do find someone you like, as infrequently as you do, that does not guarantee success. I don’t have advice around this, except to say keep going. Learn to shrug off rejection, that’s the only way.
manfrombelow2 Posted January 8, 2019 Posted January 8, 2019 I know this might sound harsh, but just like in video games, we are all set with a certain "level." If you are level 10, you should not try to match with someone whose level is, for example, 100? Instead, if you are level 10, you should target women whose levels are 10 and below. That's the 1+1=2 logic. In OP's case, I think he should really lower his standards. I mean, there are many women out there with not so appealing appearance, even disable or crippled ones... whose levels are much lower than OP's. They were born for people like OP. Come on guys, if you keep doing the same thing over and over and over again expecting different results, you belong to an asylum, not LS.
manfrombelow2 Posted January 8, 2019 Posted January 8, 2019 Seriously OP, at least until you learn how to improve your game, please stop hitting into rock by trying to date the same kind of women. You should either lower your standards in women, or consider paying money for escorts or erotic massages. What you have been doing is the same as a newborn baby tries to run before he could even roll himself. Totally pointless and a waste of time. Sorry for the cold hard truth.
some_username1 Posted January 8, 2019 Posted January 8, 2019 I know this might sound harsh, but just like in video games, we are all set with a certain "level." If you are level 10, you should not try to match with someone whose level is, for example, 100? Instead, if you are level 10, you should target women whose levels are 10 and below. That's the 1+1=2 logic. In OP's case, I think he should really lower his standards. I mean, there are many women out there with not so appealing appearance, even disable or crippled ones... whose levels are much lower than OP's. They were born for people like OP. Come on guys, if you keep doing the same thing over and over and over again expecting different results, you belong to an asylum, not LS. It depends what you mean by results- if you are looking for instant success then yes I would agree. But unless you are either lucky or have the material wealth then you will likely not be instantly successful at dating. Dating for most is about improving incrementally by degrees and the number of degrees depends on how well socialised you were to start with. James Dyson came up with approx 1,000 failed designs for his vacuum- 1,000 failures! But he never gave up and learned a bit more with each failure. Dating is much the same imo. Small improvements in terms of your outlook and your ability to relate to women with each date. Practicing certain behaviours so they are second nature etc. You can't change that stuff by clicking your fingers, it takes a level of self-awareness and real world experience practicing being in the company of women and being able to hold a conversation while simultaneously viewing the situation in the 3rd person and making sure your behaviour is on point until it becomes natural. I'm a much, much better date now than I was a couple of years ago, I'm really fun and I get told as much - but I had to learn how to be fun in the right way and that took a lot of practice.
Juha Posted January 8, 2019 Posted January 8, 2019 At least you had a date and seemed like you enjoyed your time with this woman. Unfortunately she is not interested, it really does not make sense to me that you can figure out if you really like a person or not after one date. If you have fun and think the person is good give it a little time. These people who dismiss after one date really are looking for fireworks, they are best to be avoided. If they think you are nice do not bother with that woman, as that is the kiss of death if you want someone romantically. Your friends think you are a nice guy but when your date does just get the check. I have cut dates off short if a woman has said to me they think I am a nice guy. I just say I had a nice time with you, let's call it a night. I get from them why and I tell them why. If you think I am nice then there is no point in continuing the date as you are not interested in me romantically. They then say nothing or yes, you are right.
Author ZA Dater Posted January 8, 2019 Author Posted January 8, 2019 Seriously OP, at least until you learn how to improve your game, please stop hitting into rock by trying to date the same kind of women. You should either lower your standards in women, or consider paying money for escorts or erotic massages. What you have been doing is the same as a newborn baby tries to run before he could even roll himself. Totally pointless and a waste of time. Sorry for the cold hard truth. Honestly I don't know where to start with this but do tell me if you have done the same thing, dated people you didn't like? Its the easiest advice in the world to dispense but usually those dispensing it have never actually done it. Not sure what value escorts would offer. 1
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