Buckle92 Posted January 7, 2019 Posted January 7, 2019 Okay long story short is, I ended the relationship 3-4months ago (together for 2 years). Around the 3 month mark I begged for her back to no avail and at this point I found out she was dating another guy. I went no contact straight away and in week 2 she reached out to me. As I was the dumper I did reply but only in short. She mentioned she was not seeing this other guy no more and asked if ‘I hated her’. Anyway as I got no clear sign she wanted to try again I just said I still need my own space and time to which she replied she would let me. Did I do the right thing? What should I do? I genuinely don’t think she is seeing this guy no more. Please help! Thanks
Garcon1986 Posted January 7, 2019 Posted January 7, 2019 You should for your emotional health, leave this one alone and seek out another. Both of you are just going to get more and more antsy and mad at each other trying to get this one back.
Geraltt Posted January 7, 2019 Posted January 7, 2019 Sounds like you did the right thing. Every time one breaks NC, it takes them right back to where they were immediate post-breakup. All those bad feelings of loss, bereavement, etc, all tend to come flooding back. Who wants that? Move forward. You cannot go forward while continually looking in the rear-view mirror.
Author Buckle92 Posted January 7, 2019 Author Posted January 7, 2019 The thing is I want to give it another try. Should I just make it clear what I want? Or do I stay NC and see if she comes back again? Thanks
Garcon1986 Posted January 7, 2019 Posted January 7, 2019 Your "another try" will not work because this bouncing thing will keep on happening. Both of your emotions are too riled up to make it happen.
Geraltt Posted January 7, 2019 Posted January 7, 2019 The thing is I want to give it another try. Should I just make it clear what I want? Or do I stay NC and see if she comes back again? Thanks Personally, I would advise against another attempt. The process of NC isn't to get her to come back; it's to allow yourself time to grieve, heal and then move forward without being continually reminded of the break-up.
Author Buckle92 Posted January 7, 2019 Author Posted January 7, 2019 Okay I see but let’s forget if it will or will not work. Do I contact her and arrange to meet up or stay NC hoping she comes back again? Thanks
Garcon1986 Posted January 7, 2019 Posted January 7, 2019 You should stay no contact for your personal emotional health. You don't want to be that guy who your next GF criticizes for having thoughts about his ex. Result of that - is yet another dumping.
Author Buckle92 Posted January 7, 2019 Author Posted January 7, 2019 Garcon I understand you have my best interests at heart. However if I wanted to get this girl back what do I do? Please forget the consequences of if it may not work out. Thanks
Garcon1986 Posted January 7, 2019 Posted January 7, 2019 If you really want to get back with her you send her a message or two. If she refuses to answer you or plays games, that's the end of the line for this relationship. You cannot do anything to guarantee her coming back, there's no such thing in the dating world.
d0nnivain Posted January 7, 2019 Posted January 7, 2019 Okay long story short is, I ended the relationship 3-4months ago (together for 2 years). Around the 3 month mark I begged for her back to no avail and at this point I found out she was dating another guy. I went no contact straight away and in week 2 she reached out to me. As I was the dumper I did reply but only in short. She mentioned she was not seeing this other guy no more and asked if ‘I hated her’. Anyway as I got no clear sign she wanted to try again I just said I still need my own space and time to which she replied she would let me. Did I do the right thing? What should I do? I genuinely don’t think she is seeing this guy no more. Please help! Thanks No you absolutely did the wrong thing. You asked for a reconciliation. She said no because she was seeing somebody else. Then she dumped him & Chose you. When she called you to tell you that she was now free her telling you the other guy was out of the picture was your signal to try again. What part of that was unclear to you? If you hadn't reached out to attempt to get back together first her message would have simply been a broken-hearted dumpee begging for another chance from somebody who doesn't want her. But you wanted her. Yet you rejected her AGAIN. Why would you do that? If you want to get back with her, speak up. Staying NC hoping she'll get the message after you rejected her twice is insane. Attempting to use silence to manipulate somebody is also wrong.
Melrose78 Posted January 7, 2019 Posted January 7, 2019 Okay long story short is, I ended the relationship 3-4months ago (together for 2 years). Around the 3 month mark I begged for her back to no avail and at this point I found out she was dating another guy. I went no contact straight away and in week 2 she reached out to me. As I was the dumper I did reply but only in short. She mentioned she was not seeing this other guy no more and asked if ‘I hated her’. Anyway as I got no clear sign she wanted to try again I just said I still need my own space and time to which she replied she would let me. Did I do the right thing? What should I do? I genuinely don’t think she is seeing this guy no more. Please help! Thanks I'm confused. She shows no clear sign she wanted to try again so you asked for space??? Weren't you the dumper?? What did your ego want? For her to beg? Sounds like you really actually aren't genuine and need to leave her alone. You made the choice that you did because it was an unhealthy relationship. Leave it at that.
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