My ex girlfriend of 2yrs ghosted me and now engaged to her best friend after 2months

[Eg3]

Hi all I’m posting for the first time since my break up and curious if anybody has went through something similar, so let me start

 

I was with my ex girlfriend for just about 2yrs and then we suddenly broke up out of the blue about two months ago, The days leading up to the break up I had no signs of what was coming, I was still receiving the I love you texts the good nights I miss you and so on, I Even spent the night at her house a few days before we broke up, me and my girlfriend had a great relationship never really fought never argued, we were always doing fun stuff together taking vacations family vacations, over the two years she also became very close to my now six-year-old daughter, she was one of my daughters best friends, she would always keep my daughter if I had to go out of town for work and it was my days or if I had meeting she would pick her up or take her to school for me, they would take solo trips to the zoo or movie dates just those too!!

 

She’s had a male best friend for the last 10yrs who I never really met until the end of our relationship and I was never really fully comfortable about this guy being in the picture as he was verbally abusive to her in the past and I came to find out also physically abusive as he has hit her in the past and I didn’t know about this until after our relationship ended.

 

So we broke up once in September over the best friend and her hanging out, but quickly got back together after a few days, so during that time I made the huge mistake of thinking if I became friends with her best friend it would make my relationship better, boy was I wrong!!! That lasted about 2 months before he finally broke us up!! So during that time the 3 of us would hangout from time to time, she asked me if I could give her friend and also her mother a job working for me so me being the nice guy I am, I have them both a job!!

 

So the day of the break up she asked me to bring her lunch the night before so of course I agreed and I was getting the normal texts throughout the day with her, I had the best friend with me for work reasons when I brought her lunch and the whole interaction was very very weird as we arrived my ex came out of her job hugged and kissed me we had a normal lunch and were making plans for the weekend, but the best friend wouldn’t speak to her just got out of the car and walked to the front and didn’t say a word until the end of lunch when she said by to him, he replied sorry I was just smoking and didn’t want to come around while you were eating!!!!

 

So I left her at the end of lunch and that would be the last time I ever saw her, by the time she was off work we were done, she walked away and never looked back, not once did she mention my daughter and to this day it’s as if we’re dead to her!! She never gave me a good bye nothing she just cold heartedly walked away, we exchanged a few texts the first week of the Bu and I asked her on several occasions if you don’t love me anymore just plz tell me it will help with my healing process and help me walk away and she would never say it, her mother asked her if she loved me she said yes, she then was asked if she loved her best friend she said yes as a friend and that she loved me more!! But yet she still walked away,

 

I found out after the break up that her best friend that was working for me at the time went and told her that my other employees told him I always had other women at my place of business and numerous other lies that my ex would not bring up to anybody to this day her family still doesn’t know why we broke up!!

 

So I went in zero contact for over a month and I had a weak moment where I left a flower and a stuffed animal on her car, this is the first time I’ve ever done anything like that before but it was like my last effort to try one last thing, shortly after I received a text message from her asking if I had put the stuff on her window and I replied that I did, she asked me to please not leave anything on her car anymore and I replied no problem, I figured like anybody you would all go in the trash but for some strange reason she kept the stuffed animal and it’s on her dresser at her mothers house.

 

Last week I was sent a Facebook post of hers that she is now engaged to the man of her dreams her best friend she never told her family about the engagement they found out through social media and she didn’t show up for Xmas either, after a 2yrs relationship and her breaking me and also the heart of my daughter, 2 months later she is moved in and engaged to the guy that broke us up, the guy that’s hit her, verbally abused her has no future can’t keep a job and that’s not allowed at her family’s house because he is not liked, I’m over my relationship but still confused on how all this happened, I highly doubt they will last but just a punch in the gut experience.

 

The best friend has since been fired from my job but her mother is still working for me not sure why she wants to stay and it isn’t helping my recovery but im to nice to let her go and she has been very supportive.

 

Any advice or other experiences would be awesome thanks for taking the time to read my post.

 

has anybody else been through something like that? How did you cope? Did is last? Will there relationship last

[Grisha]

I personally haven’t been through something like this but my best friend has.

His gf ended up coming back to him after about 4 months.

He ended up taking her back but he wasn’t the same. He didn’t care about her as much but the weird thing was she became crazy over him.

This made me realize how a lot of women are.

When my best friend was all about his gf, she was cold with him, and ended up leaving him for her guy friend.

But when he started treating her like she’s not all that she became dang near obsessive over him.

He ended up breaking up with her and dating another girl but then came back to her.

They have been together for 10 years now.

I’ve seen the whole ride of their relationship and I helped coach him to keep her on her toes at all times.

I’d suggest for you to completely move on. Her relationship with him will not last.

If she does come back you better not let her walk over you and quit being a nice guy. You have to treat her with respect but never put her above you or your life. Keep her at most a little below you.

[Eg3]

Thank you for the advice, she caused a lot of damage and the way she did things was not right at all!! I highly doubt I’ll ever hear from her again and if so I have so much to weigh out!!

[Grisha]

Thank you for the advice, she caused a lot of damage and the way she did things was not right at all!! I highly doubt I’ll ever hear from her again and if so I have so much to weigh out!!

 

My friend ended up coming to her door a week after she left him for the guy and he got on his knees and grabbed her hand and begged for her to come back.. and he remembers her cold heartedly just saying “no I’m sorry I can’t”. he was in high school at the time and thought that’s what women want.

It’s funny because she always brings those days up to him and wishes he was like that towards her now..

Woman like strong men because they feel like they have a MAN. Not some guy who does everything they say. Just do you. For example if you have a daily routine of going to the gym every day and she calls you to come home and watch a show with her or something. Don’t go to her. Go to the gym like you planned. Put yourself first. Yes she’ll get a bit upset but subconsciously she’s seeing that you are about yourself and it’s attractive and makes her realize she doesn’t have you at her feet.

Obviously if it’s a serious emergency you should help but be true to yourself and know when to do something for her or when not to.

I have personal experience with this because the one girl that was crazy about me I wasn’t as crazy about her. I put my career and gym before her and it would make her upset alllll the time but I never got worried because I knew I’d be okay if she left me. She never left me lol.

The girls I REALLY liked. I’d run to them every time they called. After awhile they broke up with me.

I understood how it works.

Edited January 6, 2019 by Grisha

[ExpatInItaly]

This best friend of hers sounds more like an ex of some type. Maybe they never officially dated, but I have little doubt they'd been a lot more than friends even prior to this.

 

But, you need to keep in mind that a third party can't break you up. That isn't possible without the tacit consent of one partner of a relationship. In other words, he wouldn't have been able to meddle without her participation; she let this happen. Even if lies were being spread about you, she could have come to you and asked if there was any truth to them rather than blindly believing whatever this guy tells her. He does not sound like an innocent party, but the responsibility is ultimately on her.

 

It sounds like they had been getting close for a while by the time she ended it, and they both took advantage of your kindness. I see why you tried to befriend him at first, but it seems you can trust your gut when you sense something is off. He blew you off the day you brought her lunch because they were likely already involved and he was mad at her for not having ended it with you. I am sorry this happened to you, but you and your daughter are going to be better off without someone like her in your lives. She sounds messy.

[manfrombelow2]

Women gradually fall into love with you, and they also gradually fall out of love with you.

 

In OP's case, as seen many times by myself, due to his lack of understanding of the female brain and how emotions work in love and the relationship, his woman gradually fell out of love with him without him noticing. During this period, she involved with the other guy and they gradually fell into love the same way OP and her started their relationship.

 

Hence they engage after 2 months. You can safely assume they have been "dating" much longer than that.