Fekenaws Posted January 6, 2019 Posted January 6, 2019 (edited) I believe this is an important topic that doesn’t get discussed often. In my opinion, No contact is the best way to get through a break up and/or attempt to get your ex back. The thing is, as these forums can attest to, reconciling with an ex is rare and certainly isn’t the norm. In my personal experience, exes often come back after several months of no contact and attempt to be friends with you in a strictly plutonic manner rather than to rekindle a flame. Again, I personally never accept this offer. I don’t do friendships with exes. No matter how wonderful they were, no matter how gently they tried to make the breakup, I just can’t do it. It may be bitterness on my end, but I strongly dislike the idea of rewarding an ex with my friendship for their “bad” behavior, in my mind it’s giving them everything they want about you while you get almost nothing that you want from them in return. My question to the LS community is, what has been your personal experiences with this phenomenon and what has been your own principals with handling their requests? Sound off below! Edited January 6, 2019 by Fekenaws
Grisha Posted January 6, 2019 Posted January 6, 2019 Being friends with an ex is pointless because 1. I have enough friends I hardly have time for. 2. Once I get in a relationship I don’t communicate with ex’s out of respect to my partner. So what’s the point of being friends with an ex who you’ve had sexual and emotional history with? I have one ex in particular who always reaches out to me talking about her ex bf and I sometimes talk with her a few texts here and there. I have 0 interest in her and wouldn’t ever be in a relationship with her. We are strictly friends. It took almost a year and a new girl to llose every feeling in my body for her. I don’t think it’s possible to become friends with no feelings for each other after some months. But yeah. There’s no reason for me to be friends with an ex because all 5 close friends of mine I’ve known for over half my life. That’s just how I am with friends. Staying friends on social media is more than enough for me. I get to see how they’re doing without having to communicate directly. I guess remain distant friends? 1
stillafool Posted January 6, 2019 Posted January 6, 2019 It's always best to cut them off and not be friends unless of course children are involved. Otherwise, goodbye and have a nice life.
Author Fekenaws Posted January 6, 2019 Author Posted January 6, 2019 Being friends with an ex is pointless because 1. I have enough friends I hardly have time for. 2. Once I get in a relationship I don’t communicate with ex’s out of respect to my partner. So what’s the point of being friends with an ex who you’ve had sexual and emotional history with? I have one ex in particular who always reaches out to me talking about her ex bf and I sometimes talk with her a few texts here and there. I have 0 interest in her and wouldn’t ever be in a relationship with her. We are strictly friends. It took almost a year and a new girl to llose every feeling in my body for her. I don’t think it’s possible to become friends with no feelings for each other after some months. But yeah. There’s no reason for me to be friends with an ex because all 5 close friends of mine I’ve known for over half my life. That’s just how I am with friends. Staying friends on social media is more than enough for me. I get to see how they’re doing without having to communicate directly. I guess remain distant friends? I'm similar, I have alot of close friends I've known for over a decade, I don't really need more. The only thing we differ on is even tho so far I've always stayed friends with my exes on social media, I think I might start changing that for future relationships. If they want to reach out they can always shoot me a text, but the constant indirect reminders bother me and I don't think keeping them around makes me a "bigger person" more so than it seats my healing
Author Fekenaws Posted January 6, 2019 Author Posted January 6, 2019 It's always best to cut them off and not be friends unless of course children are involved. Otherwise, goodbye and have a nice life. I agree with you. Its not like they're bad people and I legitimately wish them well, but I just don't want to see them anymore if they don't like me in that type of way.
MIAho Posted January 7, 2019 Posted January 7, 2019 I never remain friends with exes. From my experience, I have one ex-girlfriend who always tries to play the "let's be friends" card as an excuse to see if there's interest in getting back together. There's really no changing the dynamic you once had. One person will always have feelings for the other.
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