Kitteney Posted September 20, 2005 Posted September 20, 2005 I don't fall into either of those categories. It's not uncommon for a polite, witty, well-written response to not get a reply. Trust me on this one. Well, doesn't that just stink to high heaven. Don't get discouraged. Someday you'll get a good response from someone who actually gives a damn. And then the silence from the others will seem insignificant.
lost_in_chgo Posted September 20, 2005 Posted September 20, 2005 OK, Here's some stats. I got curious about this so I went thru the printouts from my online adventure and found the following: I contacted 61 women (that I tracked, there were probably another 10 or twenty that were just flirty comments. I don't use "interests/winks/flirts" I always write a little something personalized to their profile.) 36 did not reply at all 7 sent no thanks notes, mostly citing age difference 3 deleted their profiles without responding 8 have not logged in over 3 months 4 have not lo gged in within a few weeks 4 replied and began a conversation 1 replied and traded a couple quips but no converation 2 women initiated contact with me and began conversations, both of whom I had in my saved profiles, but had not decided to contact yet. 5 older women contacted me, I did not reply. 1 older woman offered sex on the second email Ages:I'm 41, They were 22: 1 23: 1 24: 5 25: 4 26: 3 27: 2 28: 2 29: 8 30: 5 31: 6 32: 4 33: 2 34: 1 35: 6 36: 4 37: 2 38: 1 ??: 4 Of the 5 conversations: 1 (24) was a bald faced gold digger that I dropped after two emails. 1 (37) was a several week conversation that I eventually ended citing distance (LDR) issues. 1 (28) was a several weeks conversation who dropped me for not liking dogs. 1 (35) was a several week conversation who backpedaled when i asked her to meet and then hid her profile. 1 (25) was a several nights conversation via IM over a couple week and then she disappeared on me. She doesn't go online when she is involved, so I assumed she met someone new. 1 (31) dropped me because I didn't go to the same restaurants she did No meets. After this I recommend the following. Don't pay attention to age ranges specified by women unless they specifically mention it in their profile text. First off, they're probably lying about their own age. Second, if they do specify a range, it's probably flexible. Third, if they mention it in the text, they mean it and have probably been getting alot of msgs from outside the range, so don't waste your time. Alot of women have said that they get nasty followup emails from guys they reject, so just take no reply as a self defensive rejection. When I contact women more that 10 yrs or so younger, I don't expect a reply at all. Usually I'm just playing, sending a comment about their profile. It's unusual to get a reply, more so to get a reply with interest. Some women have a particular age that they feel is OLD. There's no changing that. The way I figure, is if I can get a younger female to talk to me at all, I'm lucky. If she's friendly even luckier, and if she's open to older men, amazing. Haven't gotten farther than that. Been doing this for about 8 months My last GF is 31 now. The one before that 36.
jen_jen_heartbroken Posted September 20, 2005 Posted September 20, 2005 LS'ers - I have one bit of advice about the online dating thing. Over two years ago I was on a dating site and a guy contacted me. He seemed really sweet and so we decided to chat on the phone. When we talked I was a little put off by his really deep voice...almost Barry White-ish....and it didn't seem to fit his picture of a gentle-faced white guy. So I made the erroneous decision to blow him off, not return his call, all because of dumb hunch. Fast-forward a few months later and I met a guy online that I dated for over a year. He turned out to be a porn-addicted, cheating creep who really hurt me. Fast forward again a few months after the break-up.... I go online again and the deep-voiced guy contacts me. He said he didn't remember why we didn't continue talking, but he remembered that there was something special about me and wanted to pick up where we left off. I thought, oh what the heck, why not. So we started talking and discovered that during all this time I had ended up moving into his neighborhood, and he in fact was living right next door for the whole year I was dating Mr. a**h***. I kept thinking that this must be fate...it must be karma....and so we decided to meet. Boy am I glad that we did! He is amazing. By far the kindest, most loving, most intelligent, sexiest, pure-of-heart guy I've ever been with. It's been four months and we are going very strong. So the moral of this story is that you shouldn't judge a book by it's cover -- take a chance on meeting someone that you think might not be 100% perfect, because when you do meet them they might turn out in fact to be 1000% perfect for you.
Author Mary3 Posted September 20, 2005 Author Posted September 20, 2005 Thank you for a very interesting and enlightening response to what I was looking for....you said you were 41 and you also got interest from women older than you ? How old was the oldest ?
Author Mary3 Posted September 20, 2005 Author Posted September 20, 2005 How is your financial status ? Alot of young women in their 20's might be looking for a sugar daddy who buys them pretty things....not all though
lost_in_chgo Posted September 20, 2005 Posted September 20, 2005 Thank you for a very interesting and enlightening response to what I was looking for....you said you were 41 and you also got interest from women older than you ? How old was the oldest ? 42, 45 and 53. There are also the few online profiles that claim to be 32 and appear to be in their 50s. Others claim 30s and are in their teens. But I suspect those are just errors made by the russians posting false profiles on yahoo. Another site is populated with 90% of profiles with two lines of text and over 3 months old. Sorta useless. Most of their traffic comes from overseas. Many of these sites are very static. Meaning, once you gone thru the profiles, you wont see new ones too often. Another interesting thing is that there seems to be fewer women in the 30-35 range than other age ranges. As far as financial status, I don't disclose that on my profiles. Not looking for a gold digger, though I wouldn't mind a younger woman that is looking for security, I have no interest in a woman who is looking to live high on my dollar. So are you writing a paper? Looking for a sugar daddy? Looking for a young lover?
Outcast Posted September 20, 2005 Posted September 20, 2005 42 Gee - a WHOLE YEAR OLDER! Bet they're already creaking
Author Mary3 Posted September 20, 2005 Author Posted September 20, 2005 LOL ! No I am not writing a paper hehe...I pretty don't put much validity anymore in on-line dating and wondered how many others felt the same. I am always looking for a young lover I was curious if your financial status might be the reason why a 20 something might be interested, But since you don't disclose that info its interesting to see the responses. Not looking for a sugar daddy myself. I take care of myself financially and always have, Looking back on it. I have never dated at any length a financial CEO type person. Did go out on a date with a few at the insistance of friends but found them to be arogant. At which point I told them their money and position did not impress me. I should have had a camera for the looks of astonishment on their faces. Most in that capacity are used to women chasing them and groveling at their feet,. Like I said.. keep your money. Show me your heart and your passion
Author Mary3 Posted September 20, 2005 Author Posted September 20, 2005 I would be happy to send you a pic of me. In private message send me your email addy
alphamale Posted September 20, 2005 Posted September 20, 2005 Guys : Of all the profiles out there that you responded *Yes* or initiated to : how many girls actually responded ? 1 out of 50, I would estimate. Could be as high as 1 out of 100 though. If they did respond, how many emailed you consistantly and then followed up with an eventual phone call ? 25% probably Of those , how many did you end up meeting ? probably 50% Of those , how many ended up as girlfriends ? one in approx 5 years, and that was only for 3 months (this is online only) How many just wanted to be friends ? sorry, I don't do "friends"
lost_in_chgo Posted September 20, 2005 Posted September 20, 2005 Like I said.. keep your money. Show me your heart and your passion well, showing my heart would require removing it, unless you have a MRI rig. There's a smiley face embroidered on it and a big scar down the middle from where it cracked once. Passion I reserve for my inner circle Gee - a WHOLE YEAR OLDER! Bet they're already creaking Yeah, OK,... By older I meant older than my target range. I'd like to have the option to have kids, and dating older women isn't exactly keeping that option open.
basscatcher Posted September 20, 2005 Posted September 20, 2005 I've had several profiles online and cancelled them all.. I recieved on average approx. 100 emails a week from guys. I didn't respond to about 98% of them. The context of their email wasnt of value or interest. If a man can't peak my curiosity, interest, say something about my profile (other then picture) and tell me a little about himself I lost immediate interest. The guys I chose to correspond with I met 4 of them in a 4 month period. 3 of them I had repeated contact with and still do from time to time. I do not date any of them anymore. It seems all the guys I was attracted to are so busy with sports, children, work that they don't have time to really date. It sucks. I could see myself becoming seriously involved with all 3 of them but to no avail.; they werent available for any kind of serious or routine dating or even just hanging out when they had time. I was so disappointed in the results that after 6 months I cancelled all my memeberships. I also had an encounter with a man who I beleive was part of a Nigerian Sweetheart Scam which left a "bad taste in my mouth". I don't feel its worth all the sifting out of garbage with the online dating websites.. I like the fact you can read someone's profile to see if you have similiar interests before chosing to meet someone but I found most of the profiles to be lies.. I personally didn't respond to all the emails I recieved when I was involved with online dating. I was very picky and chosey as to whom I wanted to correspond with. I also had sent out (initiated) several emails to guys and I never once had a response of any of them... GO FIGURE............ So it's not only women who aren't polite in responding, men also don't respond.. (I'm tryng to not be bitter about this.. haha)
alphamale Posted September 20, 2005 Posted September 20, 2005 I was very picky and chosey as to whom I wanted to correspond with. as in only extremely good looking physicians with no children or ex wives?? no, just joking
basscatcher Posted September 20, 2005 Posted September 20, 2005 as in only extremely good looking physicians with no children or ex wives?? no, just joking nope. I'm one of the lest money hungry gold diggers anyone will ever meet. Men who come in my life want me to upgrade my lifestyle. I was raised with nothing so I learned to live conservative and I kept that lifestyle.. I prefer men who are real men... Those who get their hands greesy, dirty and like to fish etc. etc.. I am a country girl living in the big city.. I doubt I would be happy with a Physician... I've pretty much dated men who were contractors, carpenters, mechanics.. I man's man.. I'm a divorcee and I have a 16 yr old son so I prefer a man with experience in those departments as well. haha.. ( I had to get reactive to your comment. If I didn't then I wouldn't be me. haha)
Outcast Posted September 20, 2005 Posted September 20, 2005 You should meet Alpha - he's from the land of 'real men' - or so he says.
lost_in_chgo Posted September 20, 2005 Posted September 20, 2005 least money hungry gold diggers anyone will ever meet Hmmm...sounds like you're saying you're a gold digger, just not very good at it. Being a gold digger is about being money hungry. Strive for success! Be the best gold digger you can be! Stand in front of the mirror and tell yourself, I'm no longer going to be the least money hungry, I'm going to be the most hungry, and the best damn gold digger I can be! Muahahahaha
Author Mary3 Posted September 21, 2005 Author Posted September 21, 2005 Lost in chgo*,... I sense some sarcasm behind your words. Having a heart ....I won't go into explanation of what that really meant ( because I dont think you really understand ) but I see you are trying to protect yours ... In order to feel love again you have to take the risk that you heart might get broken again. And passion is more than what happens in the bed. Passion for life. For new adventures. To feel strongly about something....
lost_in_chgo Posted September 21, 2005 Posted September 21, 2005 Lost in chgo*,... I sense some sarcasm behind your words. Having a heart ....I won't go into explanation of what that really meant ( because I dont think you really understand ) but I see you are trying to protect yours ... In order to feel love again you have to take the risk that you heart might get broken again. And passion is more than what happens in the bed. Passion for life. For new adventures. To feel strongly about something.... Ahhh, so serious. So contrary...
basscatcher Posted September 21, 2005 Posted September 21, 2005 Hmmm...sounds like you're saying you're a gold digger, just not very good at it. Being a gold digger is about being money hungry. Strive for success! Be the best gold digger you can be! Stand in front of the mirror and tell yourself, I'm no longer going to be the least money hungry, I'm going to be the most hungry, and the best damn gold digger I can be! Muahahahaha I'm not interested in money or things.. I'm interested in the Gold of a persons Heart. "Might come from being neglected as a child." I wouldn't know what to do with lots of money. I get confused when income tax returns come in. It's more $$$ then I'm use too having. I live within my budget and do my best to balance myself out. I would like to live a little better then I am now --little bigger apartment, clothe my son better, have a more dependable car (I drive a 90' Buick Century 'Salvage') and pay my student loan off but I am surviving. I live better then I did growing up. I too sense a little sarcasim in your post as Mary3 stated.. I am not money hungry.. I don't need all the nice, fancy stuff people crave. I crave the heart of a honest, God fearing, empathetic, compassionate person who has time for me and wants to be involved with me..
basscatcher Posted September 21, 2005 Posted September 21, 2005 You should meet Alpha - he's from the land of 'real men' - or so he says. I find it interesting you said this. I have read some of Alpha's posts and his words and logic reminds me of a man I know who I fell head over heels for but he is "what I believe" to be relationship phobic so I gave up and am moving forward. He is a self proclaimed Alpha Male who is as he states a "real man". I have to agree with him. Alpha would be a interesting man to meet.
alphamale Posted September 21, 2005 Posted September 21, 2005 Alpha would be a interesting man to meet. Damn right!
FataMorgana Posted September 21, 2005 Posted September 21, 2005 Well, I never tried the online dating thing, but have to say that this thread is an interesting read. Based on what I read up to now I am still trying to decide if it's worth the trouble lost_in_chgo very good "results" summary.
basscatcher Posted September 21, 2005 Posted September 21, 2005 Well, I never tried the online dating thing, but have to say that this thread is an interesting read. Based on what I read up to now I am still trying to decide if it's worth the trouble If you have good judgement, can read between the lines, can handle disappointment and rejection and have lots of patience to weed out the bad apples give it a try.. I don't have the heart for online dating anymore.. To many games, to many players, too many lies, too many guys who really don't know what they want, too many guys only looking for casual sex. I've heard that there are a lot of women in online dating that are the same way.. The odds, I think, are almost as bad as picking up a partner in a club (meat market). You can't believe what ones profile says. Too much divergence in ones words vs who they are when you meet. If you think its something you can deal with without getting emotionally involved and you can handle rejection and games. Give it a try. Be careful--its a jungle out there. haha
alphamale Posted September 21, 2005 Posted September 21, 2005 If you think its something you can deal with without getting emotionally involved and you can handle rejection and games. Give it a try. Be careful--its a jungle out there. haha If you're only looking for casual flings then online is the way to go...otherwise, don't bother. It's mainly a money-making scam.
Recommended Posts