Mary3 Posted September 16, 2005 Posted September 16, 2005 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Guys : Of all the profiles out there that you responded *Yes* or initiated to : how many girls actually responded ? If they did respond, how many emailed you consistantly and then followed up with an eventual phone call ? Of those , how many did you end up meeting ? Of those , how many ended up as girlfriends ? How many just wanted to be friends ? Girls you can answer this too. Curious as to everyone's on-line experience of success rate. ? Specifically men though. Curious. ( I reposted here instead of other board...thought it better suited for Dating site board )
Nomad Posted September 20, 2005 Posted September 20, 2005 I have been trying online dating in earnest for about 6 or 7 months now. I have had one date. I've had a very low response rate from girls I initiated with. I'd say only about 5 percent of them sent any reply at all to my message. I've actually gotten a few numbers, but never got beyond a few phone calls with them (usually the girls would never call me back). I've had one date, and I never heard back from the girl. So all in all, it's been very disappointing.
Author Mary3 Posted September 20, 2005 Author Posted September 20, 2005 Hey I don't think they take it seriously. I appreciate your response . I wonder if any other posters could tell me the ratio of women who actually emailed and eventually called,....then went on a real date...
curiousnycgirl Posted September 20, 2005 Posted September 20, 2005 I ventured into the online dating thing for about a year and answered each and every email I received. Frankly I think that is simply the polite thing to do. Over time I did go on a suprisingly large number of dates, some lasted only a day, others a few weeks and/or months. I even met my b/f online - about 14 months ago. Needless to say - I've stopped going there since.
tanbark813 Posted September 20, 2005 Posted September 20, 2005 In my experience, about 1 in 10 will respond if I initiate contact, but that's a rough average. I might send out 10 and get 5 back, or send out 20 and get none back. It varies quite a bit. Of those that respond back, about half I'll actually meet in person. Of those that I've met in person, about 25% of them will actually be gf material. Hopefully that helps answer your questions. I will also say that any response back from a girl is appreciated, even if it's a "no thanks". It gets a little irritating taking the time to write all these emails to get little to no response. I always appreciate it when a girl takes the time to write back even if it's to say she's not interested.
Author Mary3 Posted September 20, 2005 Author Posted September 20, 2005 Really Tan ? I get hundreds ,lol. I don't know how to say " I dont find you attractive " to the person who is initiating contact . Is there really a " No Thanks " button to hit. Would men really prefer me to say that ? ...over not responding at all ? Thanks for taking the time to respond..
Art_Critic Posted September 20, 2005 Posted September 20, 2005 I will also say that any response back from a girl is appreciated, even if it's a "no thanks". It gets a little irritating taking the time to write all these emails to get little to no response. I always appreciate it when a girl takes the time to write back even if it's to say she's not interested. Tanbark that sums it up.. nothing worse than forming a great funny on target email only to not get a response.. Kinda makes you wonder why they are online.. You have to talk to somebody to date.. even if it is to say no thanks
Author Mary3 Posted September 20, 2005 Author Posted September 20, 2005 Art : if they write a nice long email I do respond back with a letter. But if I get a " I really like your a** " then I dont respond much. Rare instances where that comment would get a positive response out of me except for " Oh gee thanks " Its pretty crude but sometimes someone will say something and put some humor behind it and I will laugh and say thanks.
Art_Critic Posted September 20, 2005 Posted September 20, 2005 Really Tan ? I get hundreds , You are the chasee that is why you get hundreds.. and yes a simple no thanks is polite.. If someone spends 15 mins of their time reading and writing an email to you , You should at least respond with Thanks.. But we are not a match.. Good luck. Every time a girl sends me one of those the words " Thanks your nice " comes out of my mouth .. Makes the whole rejection scene easier
Art_Critic Posted September 20, 2005 Posted September 20, 2005 Art : if they write a nice long email I do respond back with a letter. But if I get a " I really like your a** " then I dont respond much. Thats great .. you would get a "thanks your nice " from me.. I don't think rude crude emails deserve a response unless you want to let off some steam
tanbark813 Posted September 20, 2005 Posted September 20, 2005 Is there really a " No Thanks " button to hit. Would men really prefer me to say that ? ...over not responding at all ? Well I can't speak for all guys but I definitely prefer that. One well-known dating site, for example, allows you to see who has viewed your profile. Lots of times I'll write an email, then I'll see that the girl has checked out my profile, but she never writes back. nothing worse than forming a great funny on target email only to not get a response.. Kinda makes you wonder why they are online.. Exactly. Girls often complain about getting standard, general emails from guys on dating sites so I take the time to personalize my email. I make references to something they said, ask something specific, make it witty, etc.. So then to take the time--not to mention the money involved for the membership--and not receive a reply is disappointing to say the least. I can see why guys just start shotgunning out a hundred form emails. It saves time given the lackluster response rate from females. Well, except for curiousnycgirl. Good for you for answering every email you got.
Author Mary3 Posted September 20, 2005 Author Posted September 20, 2005 What does that mean ~Chasee ? * (..thinks ..)*. I think the ratio of men on some of the sites is higher ? Would you agree ? Could that explain why a girl gets hundreds of matches ? I get told alot I am pretty or a hottie.....but some can be crude and say they want to **** me . Thats just ewww...
Nomad Posted September 20, 2005 Posted September 20, 2005 Yes, I've also spoken about the issue of unreturned emails (see my "Online Dating Rant" post). The general consensus with girls on this forum seemed to be that 1) they received too many emails to respond to all of them because the guy/girl ratio on those sites is so high or 2) they were afraid of saying "No Thanks" for fear of what the guy's response would be. I do agree it sucks to craft a nice, full email to somebody & not even receive anything at all back. It is very demoralizing. I can't meet a girl in "real life" & I can't meet a girl on the internet...I don't know what else there is. I'm facing a future lifetime of utter lonliness & it is a terrifying prospect. Sorry if I brought the mood down a little.
Art_Critic Posted September 20, 2005 Posted September 20, 2005 What does that mean ~Chasee ? * (..thinks ..)*. I think the ratio of men on some of the sites is higher ? Would you agree ? Could that explain why a girl gets hundreds of matches ? You woman ..me man.. We have to chase you .. That makes us the chaser and you the chasee.. The ratio isn't as important as the fact that women just sit back.. guys have to work for it online Guys do the contacting that is why girls get 100's of contacts..
Author Mary3 Posted September 20, 2005 Author Posted September 20, 2005 One amazing great guy I have been writing to has a mutual interest of mine and thats MUSIC. We are like burning the email lines up about our fav bands and he is a musician so we just hit it off. Letters like crazy. So if I do start an email and someone just captures my attention such as he has...then its great. ( he intends to move here ) I will respond politely as I can. They do ask direct questions like :AM I too old for you ?~~ How do I answer that ? I email men and get : "So what is your bra size ? Do you like oral ? I would love to ____ you sometime." Stuff like that.... grrrr... I don't think thats very nice because I know he is fishing for sex . I lose interest... If I want to go have sex .I would probrobly put that on my profile But my profile says " Loving long term serious relationship wanted " My current interest asks me a million questions about my fav bands and keeps writing back wanting to know a million things about me and I discover we have an incredible amount in common ..then I am interested. He has been a gentlemen so far....Of course I love making love...but would like that to be with someone I care about
Art_Critic Posted September 20, 2005 Posted September 20, 2005 I will respond politely as I can. They do ask direct questions like :AM I too old for you ?~~ How do I answer that ? There isn't a need to answer his questions if you are blowing him off. All you have to say is something like " Thanks for the interest in my profile but after reviewing yours I don't think we are a good match " Thanks and good luck in your hunting.. Something along those lines would work without having to answer his questions
Author Mary3 Posted September 20, 2005 Author Posted September 20, 2005 Nomad : I am sorry you are finding the on-line dating a dissapointment. I have to tell you that I have to ...you know why ? Because alot of men ( not all ) really just want sex. They say relationship but I guess they cant say " Looking for sex in Seattle. " So they say relationship knowing a girl will ( probrobly )eventually get intimate with them because she thinks they have something special. Honestly it has happened too many times for me to take the internet that seriously anymore. So I don't. I rather meet someone outside of the internet... Can you give me an example of your profile and maybe I can help you to vamp it up You should not put any negative info on your profile. Only positive . Thats one tip for starters .
Nomad Posted September 20, 2005 Posted September 20, 2005 Mary, how old are you? Is there any way you could post a picture or a link to your ad or something? I (& every guy here, I'm sure) would like to know what a girl who gets "hundreds" of emails looks like. That is discouraging to hear that there is so much competition. I knew the online dating scene was crowded, but...wow. I myself get very few girls initiating with me. I do most of the sending. The few that have emailed me have usually been fat. Sorry, but I'm thin & I don't mind a few extra pounds, but damn... I do, however, feel bad about turning ANYONE down because I know how rejection feels. Luckily, it's not much of an issue for me cause I don't get many emails.
Author Mary3 Posted September 20, 2005 Author Posted September 20, 2005 Thanks Art I appreciate your advice. So tell it like it is....I will take that advice
Art_Critic Posted September 20, 2005 Posted September 20, 2005 So tell it like it is.... Absolutely ......
battleworn Posted September 20, 2005 Posted September 20, 2005 I've been at it for about 6 weeks. Connected well with one girl and went on a couple of dates but no contact since. Was supposed to meet another, but she seemed quite nervous and insecure, so after the 2nd postponed date, I let her off the hook. I agree with the general consensus that I get few responses out of initiated contacts, maybe 1 in 30. Though oddly it goes in streaks. I've had weeks where I get one or two responses a day, and weeks with none. I hate to say it, but you do better when you 'play games'. I.e. don't respond for a couple of days, make it seem as if you're schedule's so full making a date is near impossible etc. On the other hand, there is no percentage in lying outright about yourself; that gets exposed pretty quickly.
Kitteney Posted September 20, 2005 Posted September 20, 2005 Thanks Art Critic for the polite way to say "thanks but no thanks" I will begin using it immediately. I have initiated contact with several people, but I find that after a few e-mails and even a date, that these guys really were not a good match. I've had better luck with the guys that did the intitiating. Now here are a couple of things to consider that may help the response rate. 1) I don't respond to the guys with the crass comments, for obvious reasons. 2) I don't respond to the guys who send out lengthy e-mails all about themselves yet make no mention about me. It's not that I think I'm "all that and a bag of potato chips." I figure if they were truly interested in me they would have made a comment about some of my interests--the movies that I like, my passion for bungee jumping, where I like to vacation. I have had several guys write lengthy e-mails describing themselves, what they are looking for, etc. but there is no mention about me. And then, a few weeks later, I get the very same e-mail, complete with the same exact typos, poor grammar and spelling. In short, be polite and be sincere. Reference something in the person's profile to show you read it.
Art_Critic Posted September 20, 2005 Posted September 20, 2005 Thanks Art Critic for the polite way to say "thanks but no thanks" I will begin using it immediately. Your Welcome ... I don't think there is anything wrong with not replying to both of your scenarios.. Man.. guys do the cutting and pasting form letters.. Stupid idiots.. There was one time that I used a previous e-mail that I sent out and cut and pasted it and reconfigured the rest to fit her profile and I forgot to remove the previous persons name .. I learned.. never again
tanbark813 Posted September 20, 2005 Posted September 20, 2005 Now here are a couple of things to consider that may help the response rate. 1) I don't respond to the guys with the crass comments, for obvious reasons. 2) I don't respond to the guys who send out lengthy e-mails all about themselves yet make no mention about me. I don't fall into either of those categories. It's not uncommon for a polite, witty, well-written response to not get a reply. Trust me on this one.
Author Mary3 Posted September 20, 2005 Author Posted September 20, 2005 I know I had a guy who posted in his body personal email this long generic letter about himself and then in another site I saw the exact same email to me per word , as if he cut and pasted the whole thing about himself. Needless to say I was not impressed. I agree with Kittany that he should be saying : Oh I see you like this band and I noticed you like jogging ect. " : That person really read your profile and wants to know more about you. Thats how my new interest captured my attention. Our love of music
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