Coventryuk Posted January 6, 2019 Posted January 6, 2019 Hey all, I am new to this forum so I should introduce myself a bit first I guess? I am Michael and I am from Coventry in the uk. I am 36 and I was in a relationship with my soulmate and best friend for 8 years until 9th december when she decided she had had enough. It is all my own fault and since that day I have just been very hard on myself for ruining my life. I had two stepchildren with her aswell whom I obviously have no rights to see as they are not my biological children. I feel so lost and lonely at the minute, I have no close friends to talk to about things and I have found myself becoming more reliant on alcohol to get my through the days. I have never experienced heart break before and it truly is horrific. I have had to visit my gp as I feel so low and depressed every single day, Is there anyone out there who could give me some support and guidance how to deal with this as I am lost and alone? Thankyou in advance for listening. I just think having someone to talk to would help. Mike
Garcon1986 Posted January 6, 2019 Posted January 6, 2019 Welcome to LS old chap, I used to live in Oxfordshire and London. I'm now speaking from the United States. The US has it's own particular charm hehe. Can you start by telling us how the breakup was your fault?
Million.to.1 Posted January 6, 2019 Posted January 6, 2019 Welcome Cove, Sorry to hear you are hurting. What had your GF had enough of and why is it all your fault? It's natural to blame yourself somewhat after a break-up you did not want, but surely there is more to it than you being 100% to blame for everything. Tell us more about what happened and the issues you were dealing with.
Author Coventryuk Posted January 6, 2019 Author Posted January 6, 2019 2 years ago I did something to break the trust in the relationship and she tried hard to overcome this. She just doesn’t feel she can trust me anymore. I have tried to prove to her that I would never hurt her again but it’s just not enough. Since we have split just 4 weeks ago I already know she is on dating apps and now it leads me to think that perhaps I didn’t mean as much to her as she did me? She refuses to have any contact with me at all as her mum text saying she wants a clean break. I am trying hard to respect that. The doctor says I’m doing well but has offered to give me time off work but I don’t think that’s the best thing to do either? I’m just quite lost at the minute
Garcon1986 Posted January 6, 2019 Posted January 6, 2019 So it's not healthy to be consuming lots and lots of alcohol to dull your pain - although I hear you, I went through a breakup in 2018 and it was pretty painful. Plus alcohol will make you fat and unattractive to future dating prospects. You've got to ask yourself what activities you think make you happy. You've got to build happiness as a mandatory part of your daily schedule. Once you rinse and repeat enough times, the pain will start to go away. Also ask yourself if you have the discipline to fight fair with your partner - did you actually cheat on her because you didn't want to resolve a conflict face to face? If so, that needs to go, the next time you date. Different people get over exes at different speeds. What might have happened is that she had been building up so much resentment over such a long period of time, that in the last 2-3 months, she didn't love you at all anymore (I know it's a hard thing to say). So, going on dating was a bit easier for her. Build mandatory happiness into your daily routine mate. Find meetups (on meetup.com) that you enjoy and start going. That's the first step.
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