2nd Date Evaluation, Keep it going or End it?

[Insoc]

It took a lot of communication on your end?

 

How did you feel when you were at her house? Did you feel good about it?

How did you end things? A hug, a handshake, a kiss? If there was no feeling in the kiss after the first date, why did you plan a second date?

 

Yes, she ghosted my text for 3 days, then responded, I ghosted back and she got concerned and then called me, we set-up another date.

 

I felt real good in her house, felt very comfortable and around her, but felt she wasn't into me enough yet or maybe never, to have her sit next to me on the sofa and put her arm around her and start kissing her on the neck and so on.

 

The 2nd date ended with a nice hug, but no kiss on the lips I kissed her on the forehead instead and told her why, because I was just getting over a cold and didn't want risk getting her sick too, she didn't say anything about it.

 

Not sure why I did the second date to be honest, just to feel her out, I think she is uncomfortable with my age, I'm 50 she is 58, but looks late 40's for a female. I told her I like her, fun to be around but there are some red flags and I think though she came on to me via Match, I'm the youngest guy she ever dated, so it's probably a little scary for her to get committed thinking I'm not going to stay with her due to her age, she is really conscious of her age, big time.

 

I kept reassuring her she has nothing to worry about, but it didnt' seem to help.

[Insoc]

Thank you Edgygirl for the excellent post.

 

As a fellow male, it hurts me to see OP can invest that much time and energy into trying to "win" an online debate to prove he is right and the people who are contributing into his case are not.

 

Refusing to accept reality is, in fact, another sign of weak, beta and feminine behaviour.

 

From all my ups and downs in the game of dating, I've learned that women need a guy who doesn't try to interpret their words too literally and seriously. As a matter of fact, women need men know how (and when) to "ignore" their verbal BS and just lead the way instead.

 

For example, I never ask a woman sth like "Excuse me my lady, could I please have the privilige of having sexual intercourse with you?" because no women, no matter how horny, would say "yes" to such a line. I just "go for it' instead. And that's masculine energy right there. And you know what women want in men? Bingo, they want masculine energy. After all, love is a game of emotions. And emotions are not maths where 1 plus 1 always equals 2.

 

The bold part: Women will treat men based on how they show up. For example, if a guy shows up as a alpha masculine dude, she will treat him like one, which means having sex with the guy eventually. On the contrary, if a guy shows up as a handyman, she will treat him like one, which means looking at him doing the job, saying thank you, paying him the money, waving goodbye, and close the door. (In OP's case, there was seemingly no money involved, lol?)

 

Oh, and so far, women only have had sex with handymen in porn.

 

Again, I advise OP to buy and read said Corey Wayne's book, instead of spending a good deal of time trying to win his argument here, because that's a total waste of his time.

 

Not trying to win the debate here, nor am I a "Beta", trust me that's not my problem, more of I'm too much of a Gentleman or too nice, which I been told. Suppose I could have been more aggressive, but I didn't feel good about it, but after the first date when I kissed her goodnight on the lips, the reception was not good, I didn't ask because that's weak (I never ask), I just pulled her in by her shoulders and gently put my hands behind her neck and head and kissed her, it felt like I was kissing my Sister, it wasn't long and she wasn't interested in making it last. That's not a "Beta" move.

 

I watched plenty of Corey Wayne's videos on YT, while it's good stuff it's not a one size fit's all for every women out there. Read some of the comments on his videos, while many agree lot's of people question things he say's too. I'll check out the book if you say it's the gospel.

 

This woman is 58, came out of very long marriage, over 30 years+, has only been divorced for a year, and has kids on top it. Not sure how old you are or what your dating pool is, but with her being older than me, she acts totally different that the 40ish year old women I dated who don't hold back and are over me. All the 40ish women I dated and kissed on the lips, were really into it and made it last a couple also gave me another round on their own.

 

The handyman thing was just me being helpful/useful, not sure why that's such a negative to be that, but then again being too nice, but it got me to her house, if I said, oh I can't fix that or do anything, she would have never invited me over. I didn't expect anything to happen when her one son was in the other room after 1 hour of being there the first time either.

Edited January 7, 2019 by Insoc

[Insoc]

OMG! You moved furniture! You "put out" and now it's the next morning.

 

Yep I know, I did "put out" did that and more. I did volunteer for it, so I don't blame her. I had a nice time, she mentioned a 3rd date later in the month, I need to think about it, I just don't feel this is turning into more than a guy friend thing, but I never dated a woman this much older than me, was unsure about the compatibility, doesn't seem it's there?

 

I see plenty of points of view on here, but none of you were there, so it's hard to really judge this one, not all women are receptive to aggressive moves or ready to make out or have sex on the 1st or 2nd date, I know this isn't in my head, someone help me out here lol! I have been there prior, I have had some dates say a few men they dated were overly aggresive on the first date and were turned off, so take all these theories and wonder why woman are not one in the same, if they were robots Men would have it easier lol.

Edited January 7, 2019 by Insoc

[edgygirl]

Well maybe she's not interested in you or in sex in general, in which case she's totally lame for accepting your handyman offer knowing she was going to friendzone you. Do you really want a woman who says she doesn't like compliments? She is either not into you, or a weirdo.

 

I even ran my fingers through her hair and said she smells really good, she told me she doesn't like compliments

She just didn't seem too interested in that stuff.

 

I suggested you go in for a kiss, not to try and bed her...

 

not sure aside from just grabbing her and tossing her on the bed, what else I could have done?

Agreed - you don't go for a kiss when she's specifically at the edge of a bed after she stated she doesn't want sex too soon.

 

There was one time she was sitting on the edge of the bed, I almost sat down next to her and made my move, but I didn't feel she was in the mindset, she told me flat out that a man wanting sex so soon is a instant turn off, should I take that as a crock?

[Insoc]

Well maybe she's not interested in you or in sex in general, in which case she's totally lame for accepting your handyman offer knowing she was going to friendzone you. Do you really want a woman who says she doesn't like compliments? She is either not into you, or a weirdo.

 

 

Could be on the sex thing? I agree with you, there were some red flags in how she was acting and what she was saying to me.

 

She wasn't accepting of the kiss after the 1st date, so that sorta painted a bad picture, but I wanted to give her another chance because maybe she was caught off guard.

 

She was above my age range, I had it set at 40 to 53, so she was apprehensive when she reached out to me on her age. I wasn't sure, I seem to do better with younger women, can relate more it seems, I talked to more 40 to 48 range and had more in common it seems, they seemed more in tune with me, this woman was diffferent just not into the same thing at a higher %, so it was a toss up when I met her she seemed fine but I started seeing things pop out, like saying she doesn't like compliments and was conscious of her age when she looked great to be honest.

 

Also she told me on the 2nd date, "I don't need a man to be happy", which you can take multiple ways, I wasnt' really offended by it because I heard it before and one time asked a date, then why are you on Match? lol

Edited January 7, 2019 by Insoc

[Highndry]

A woman who has no interest in you would never allow a man into her house when there's only the two of you.

 

But, as far as I can tell, you didn't have the balls to get a little bit aggressive then, and that was interpreted by her as weak and beta behaviour.

 

If there's one thing certain about women, is that their feelings for you are ever-changing. She "liked" you enough to invite you into her house, but you blew that chance by playing too safe, and now the spark is gone, her feelings for you are now dropped (no matter how high they were).

 

That's the fact. And now all you need to do, is to walk away and never look back. This is the reason why single alpha men need not to stick with just one woman, but should date multiple women at the same time instead, so you won't put all eggs into one bracket, which means when things go wrong with one woman, you can easily forget about her, move on to the next one in your list. That's alpha mindset.

 

Second this.

 

Love is about fun and relax. The fact that OP got too serious too soon killed all the vibes needed to keep the spark between him and the woman alive.

 

Remember, the best way to interact with women is to create and maintain a positive, light-hearted, fun-filled and relaxing atmosphere for the two of you to enjoy together by hanging out, having fun and hooking up. The rest will take care of itself.

 

You don't try to bring up your relationship status, you don't try to label your relationship, you don't talk about "relationships", because it's the women's job to do (labelling things is a feminine behaviour caused by feminine energy). All you need and must do, is hang out, have fun and hook up. The rest will take care of itself, including the woman.

 

I suggest OP buys and reads the book of Corey Wayne called "The 3% Man" on Amazon. It helped me improve not only my game, but also myself tremendously.

 

 

Good lord, you "alpha" this, "beta" that "Corey Wayne" guys are a joke. You do realize this guy is like 50 years old, has been married, and the woman he is talking about is "much older" than him, right? Get a grip on yourself already. This woman is not looking for a hookup, stated this fact in no uncertain terms, and if he would have escalated she surely would have been upset by it and he would have ruined his chances.

 

OP - it's hard to know what's going on with this one. She seems to have walls up, but obviously has interest in you or she wouldn't have invited you into her house. She also contradicts herself - she doesn't want exclusive but doesn't want to have sex early on. Good luck with that, is what I say. What kind of guy is going to wait around for an almost senior citizen who isn't looking for anything serious yet doesn't want sex, either? I'd bail if I were you.

 

Just remember, if a woman's into you she won't leave much to the imagination. You're going to know. Focus on those gals.

Edited January 7, 2019 by Highndry

[Highndry]

I do see your point, but I did touch her though throughout the day and in the evening after we ate and came back to the house. I even ran my fingers through her hair and said she smells really good, she told me she doesn't like compliments, not sure aside from just grabbing her and tossing her on the bed, what else I could have done? She just didn't seem too interested in that stuff.

 

There was one time she was sitting on the edge of the bed, I almost sat down next to her and made my move, but I didn't feel she was in the mindset, she told me flat out that a man wanting sex so soon is a instant turn off, should I take that as a crock?

 

Well I took my shirt off when I was doing the home remodeling, like in one of those Lifetime movies and I'm real toned and in good shape? Thought that would have made a difference since it always works in the movies lol, of course I'm kidding.

 

Yes, she ghosted my text for 3 days, then responded, I ghosted back and she got concerned and then called me, we set-up another date.

 

I felt real good in her house, felt very comfortable and around her, but felt she wasn't into me enough yet or maybe never, to have her sit next to me on the sofa and put her arm around her and start kissing her on the neck and so on.

 

The 2nd date ended with a nice hug, but no kiss on the lips I kissed her on the forehead instead and told her why, because I was just getting over a cold and didn't want risk getting her sick too, she didn't say anything about it.

 

Not sure why I did the second date to be honest, just to feel her out, I think she is uncomfortable with my age, I'm 50 she is 58, but looks late 40's for a female. I told her I like her, fun to be around but there are some red flags and I think though she came on to me via Match, I'm the youngest guy she ever dated, so it's probably a little scary for her to get committed thinking I'm not going to stay with her due to her age, she is really conscious of her age, big time.

 

I kept reassuring her she has nothing to worry about, but it didnt' seem to help.

 

 

I should have read the whole thread before my last post. Move on from this one, she's showing very low interest.

[Insoc]

Good lord, you "alpha" this, "beta" that "Corey Wayne" guys are a joke. You do realize this guy is like 50 years old, has been married, and the woman he is talking about is "much older" than him, right? Get a grip on yourself already. This woman is not looking for a hookup, stated this fact in no uncertain terms, and if he would have escalated she surely would have been upset by it and he would have ruined his chances.

 

OP - it's hard to know what's going on with this one. She seems to have walls up, but obviously has interest in you or she wouldn't have invited you into her house. She also contradicts herself - she doesn't want exclusive but doesn't want to have sex early on. Good luck with that, is what I say. What kind of guy is going to wait around for an almost senior citizen who isn't looking for anything serious yet doesn't want sex, either? I'd bail if I were you.

 

Just remember, if a woman's into you she won't leave much to the imagination. You're going to know. Focus on those gals.

 

Thanks for giving me a boost, I'm listening to Corey Wayne as suggested, I got it for free from Amazon, he keeps saying "Google this and Google that" he keeps talking about all the hot chicks with perfect 10 bodies and short shorts and appearance he has picked up but never held on to lol. Some of his stories also seem to be repeated just changed details, dunno he seems to have quite a history with women, that is nothing lasted, lot's of relationships and divorces it seems.

 

I don't know how much longer I can listen to Corey Wayne and his 3% lol, I do see some of his points, but I think I'm not a "Weak" guy, just respectful of women and a gentleman, old school type of guy. I listen to all of my dates more so than I talk, that is they do 80% of the talking, that much I can support his beliefs an some of his other points. Lot of it is based on current relationships.

 

I agree on your points on this woman and her age, I feel she is uncomfortable with a guy my age, I think she wanted to "experiment" but still unsure. She also repeated to me several times on both dates that men her age look 70 or 80, she doesn't want that, but here she has me and she flat out told me "I'm easy on the eyes" and seems not interested, so I need to move on yes, I invested enough time and will not be calling her back to set-up another date.

[Insoc]

I should have read the whole thread before my last post. Move on from this one, she's showing very low interest.

 

It's okay, I already am moving on from her. I drove 200 miles on both dates round trip, it has a lot of negatives not just the distance.