Justme888 Posted September 16, 2005 Posted September 16, 2005 I am a 22 year old women and I have some issues that lately seem to be taking over my every thought that I have going through my mind. This is my very first post so if it is a little confusing I apologize. Lately I have been noticing within many of my relationships that I am a extremely insecure and unconfident person. I do not know where all of this derived from and how to get help, but I do know that it hurts and I can not afford therapy like many of us on this site. I am averaged height blond with what I seem to think are good features and I do well in my life as far as making good decisions and being a decent individual. These facts about me don't seem to help my thought process which is that I never feel that I am good enough, good looking enough or competant enough to be with anyone or even hold a successful career in my future. I often question how I made it as far as I have. I have done some screwing up, but nothing major to ruin any aspect of my life. I know that I regret alot of things that I should've done or should of not done in my past, but that can not be enough reason for the well I feel. I get sad and I cry alot. I feel inadequate in my relationship with my boyfriend. I do not feel special to him if he makes references about any other girls and I cringe if there is a pretty girl anywhere that we may be. In my other relationships (friends and co-workers) I shut myself out and don't really ever feel like going out with anyone (drinking, looking for guys). This stuff doesn't interest me, but rather makes me angry. I feel like if I go out with friends and if someone doesn't notice me than I in a way failed for the night and I am not happy. I also find that many people I talk to lately are very self-involved and selfish. Most of thiis han't REALLY been bothering me till maybe the past year. I guess since I have been going out with my boyfriend, but I do not want to be alone....Can someone give me any feedback or advice? I used to be very happy and carefree and I do not know what happened.
suegail Posted September 16, 2005 Posted September 16, 2005 I don't know what to think...did some change come about in your life? Did you experience trauma of any kind within the last year? You did say you didn't really have this problem until around the time you started dating your boyfriend. Maybe for some reason, something that was buried deep, the relationship has brought out this feeling of profound insecurity which now colors your every reaction. Maybe it's related to feelings you have had, fears about personal relationships...something in your family background that really bothers you. I'm only guessing, of course, but it does seem if it's something you never experienced before, it's a total change, and you can point to the approximate time it started, and under what circumstances it started, you probably can rule out a chemical imbalance problem. I would think more along the lines of an emotional reaction - what do they call them? Defense mechanisms?
Author Justme888 Posted September 17, 2005 Author Posted September 17, 2005 I am only guessing too and it all worries me obviously. Maybe I do really need to go talk to someone. It may be a chemical imbalance, but I have been on medication in the past for something that happened about three years ago and I just didn't like being on meds at all. And I have tried several different types. Maybe I just realy need to go see someone for some advice and answers. I can not think of anything that is so deep inside of me that really makes me feel the way I do -so horribly all the tme.I wonder???Thanks!
suegail Posted September 17, 2005 Posted September 17, 2005 Very good idea to discuss your feelings with someone, maybe a counselor. You said you don't have much money to spend...do you have a church? sometimes a Christian counselor can be of great help. I guess I'm leary of doctors (though I am a nurse) because they tend to want to give you meds, at least most of them do and I am convinced it isn't always the answer at all and sometimes can actually cause more problems. I understand that some people do have serious chemical imbalances and do need meds, but many people do need a way to work through their problems, ways to cope. I see so many patients coming in young, old, children, and they're on Paxil or Prozac or ADD meds and/or xanax three times a day or more, and dozens of others. I sure hope you'll find just the right help. Please let us know how you're doing...
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