Tagalz Posted January 5, 2019 Posted January 5, 2019 Hey! So I have my first date with this girl that I met at my new years eve party. She don’t have a lot of time so I appreciate her making time for me. My plan is to grab a coffe and walk around in the city (if it’s too cold we could sit down and have a conversation) She’s 18 and I’m 23. She has a playful personality and she flirted with me alot at the party. I don’t think I have much else to say than that. What questions should I ask her?
basil67 Posted January 6, 2019 Posted January 6, 2019 There's no *should* about the questions to ask. Simply be interested in learning about her and allow her to get to know you. Good luck 1
alphamale Posted January 6, 2019 Posted January 6, 2019 What questions should I ask her? ask her if she's on the pill or knows about the Plan B tablet 2
edgygirl Posted January 6, 2019 Posted January 6, 2019 There are SO many pages about it online I think you should have a look https://www.google.com/search?client=firefox-b-1&q=first+date+questions That aside, I think only you know what's important for you and what you're looking now in your life. For me I want a long-term relationship so I ask questions related to that so I can gauge if there's compatibility and we're looking for the same thing. If you're looking for a fun longterm prospect even at your age, perhaps ask her what does she like doing on her free time and what activities, interests and hobbies she has to gauge if it would be fun dating her. Good luck and enjoy it! 1
Author Tagalz Posted January 6, 2019 Author Posted January 6, 2019 There's no *should* about the questions to ask. Simply be interested in learning about her and allow her to get to know you. Good luck Thanks I’ll do my best!
Author Tagalz Posted January 6, 2019 Author Posted January 6, 2019 ask her if she's on the pill or knows about the Plan B tablet I don’t get your point tho. So your saying......?
Author Tagalz Posted January 6, 2019 Author Posted January 6, 2019 There are SO many pages about it online I think you should have a look https://www.google.com/search?client=firefox-b-1&q=first+date+questions That aside, I think only you know what's important for you and what you're looking now in your life. For me I want a long-term relationship so I ask questions related to that so I can gauge if there's compatibility and we're looking for the same thing. If you're looking for a fun longterm prospect even at your age, perhaps ask her what does she like doing on her free time and what activities, interests and hobbies she has to gauge if it would be fun dating her. Good luck and enjoy it! I do look for a long term relationship, but at her age of 18 I’m just not sure if she’s ready to be tied down. Most people at that age wants to party and get more experience. Altough I’m also curious to see what she wants like for example: does she wants to date exclusively? Does she want a long term? Does she want FWB? And how exactly do I ask questions that’s related to that? Pluss I don’t think that’s something you would talk about in the first date... maybe the second? I hope you answer because I have a lot of thing wandering in my mind hahha 1
MetallicHue Posted January 6, 2019 Posted January 6, 2019 I don’t get your point tho. So your saying......? I think he’s saying you don’t want a baby on the way after the first date. 1
alphamale Posted January 6, 2019 Posted January 6, 2019 I don’t get your point tho. So your saying......? that was a joke...use your humour to dazzle her 1
manfrombelow2 Posted January 6, 2019 Posted January 6, 2019 All OP needs to do on 1st date is to create and maintain a positive, fun, relaxing and comfortable vibe for him and his woman to enjoy together, and OP needs to maintain the 20-80 rule, which means he must let the woman talks at least 80% of the date while he only does 20%. Women love to talk and ask (it's in their nature, the feminine core they all have), so if she has high interest level in you, she'll do the asking, you just need to answer. If OP does everything right, the rest will just take care of itself. 1
edgygirl Posted January 6, 2019 Posted January 6, 2019 I think it depends on the 18 yo. Some are tired/uninterested in partying and do want a boyfriend. I agree with thaygiaogiang - perhaps the first date should be fun and on the lighter side, and if it all goes well you can ask her these other questions on the next dates. I guess I was talking from my perspective of an older woman who doesn't want to waste time, in your case you have all the time in the world The way to ask when you feel more comfortable is being yourself and authentic. As in (mainly using your words): What are you looking for right now? Someone to date exclusively? Are you looking for long term? Or something more casual? Of course we have to hope she is mature enough to answer turthfully and not only saying something she thinks you want to hear. I hope it goes well! Keep us posted I do look for a long term relationship, but at her age of 18 I’m just not sure if she’s ready to be tied down. Most people at that age wants to party and get more experience. 2
manfrombelow2 Posted January 6, 2019 Posted January 6, 2019 Excellent post. I'd like to add: Age does not play a very big role when it comes to emotional interaction between a MAN and a WOMAN. As a guy, OP needs to stay calm, relax and be in his center during the date. Emotions are viral. If OP is anxious, nervous, calmless... then sooner or later, the girl will notice because girls are sensitive to emotions, and nothing is more unattractive than a nervous guy. All OP needs to do during the conversation is LISTEN to the girl, and just let her talk. For example when she tells you about some memory about a place she used to travel, you could say: "Wow, I always want to go there, please tell me more, I'm listening." Goodluck OP. I think it depends on the 18 yo. Some are tired/uninterested in partying and do want a boyfriend. I agree with thaygiaogiang - perhaps the first date should be fun and on the lighter side, and if it all goes well you can ask her these other questions on the next dates. I guess I was talking from my perspective of an older woman who doesn't want to waste time, in your case you have all the time in the world The way to ask when you feel more comfortable is being yourself and authentic. As in (mainly using your words): What are you looking for right now? Someone to date exclusively? Are you looking for long term? Or something more casual? Of course we have to hope she is mature enough to answer turthfully and not only saying something she thinks you want to hear. I hope it goes well! Keep us posted 2
Gretchen12 Posted January 6, 2019 Posted January 6, 2019 You have to remember what it was like being 18. The daughter of a friend of mine turned 18. She's very much just a kid to me, since I watched her grow up. The things we talk about are stuff like school and her friends, her pets, where she'd like to travel to, cute animals. I cannot imagine a man asking this kid questions men normally ask a 30 year old woman. I'm not saying she's too young too date. Just remember she probably doesn't think like you. 1
Interstellar Posted January 6, 2019 Posted January 6, 2019 (edited) She’s 18 so just control your emotions. Don’t let your interest level rise and get out of control because she’s still a baby mentally. As far as questions go, ask her what she likes to do for fun, how she got into that, what her hobbies are, what her Grandma did in World War 2, okay I’m kidding on that one, making a girl laugh is tricky because you don’t want a humor that puts other people down so I would research Jim Carrey, but you also want to gauge her interest level, does she help you out conversation wise? is she enthusiastic? does she help you keep the conversation flowing? you also want to make sure that you’re not firing question, after question, after question, like you’re a CIA interrogator asking a prisoner in Guantanamo Bay. Keep it simple, light and fun. Edited January 6, 2019 by Interstellar 2
Garcon1986 Posted January 6, 2019 Posted January 6, 2019 One strategy to try is to also use mild physical escalation like touching the arms, touching the hands, and staring in the eyes a little longer than you would to a regular friend. Periodically judge how comfortable she is with it. It's good practice for your internal barometer of physical escalation. 1
snowboy91 Posted January 6, 2019 Posted January 6, 2019 There are no fixed questions you should really ask on the first date. The best way forward is to just keep it light and fun - find out about her, what things she likes to do, what music she likes, etc. Also as Garcon says above, try throwing in some little physical things like touching the arms, it's one way of gauging her interest physically. 1
Garcon1986 Posted January 6, 2019 Posted January 6, 2019 I had to learn physical escalation, that I couldn't just tell my date that I wanted to smell her chest So this is a skill you can train.
Author Tagalz Posted January 6, 2019 Author Posted January 6, 2019 The way to ask when you feel more comfortable is being yourself and authentic. As in (mainly using your words): What are you looking for right now? Someone to date exclusively? Are you looking for long term? Or something more casual? Of course we have to hope she is mature enough to answer turthfully and not only saying something she thinks you want to hear. I hope it goes well! Keep us posted I’ll keep that in mind if I get a second date (: thanks!
Author Tagalz Posted January 6, 2019 Author Posted January 6, 2019 As a guy, OP needs to stay calm, relax and be in his center during the date. Emotions are viral. If OP is anxious, nervous, calmless... then sooner or later, the girl will notice because girls are sensitive to emotions, and nothing is more unattractive than a nervous guy. All OP needs to do during the conversation is LISTEN to the girl, and just let her talk. For example when she tells you about some memory about a place she used to travel, you could say: "Wow, I always want to go there, please tell me more, I'm listening." Goodluck OP. I got it and I try my best! (:
Author Tagalz Posted January 6, 2019 Author Posted January 6, 2019 As far as questions go, ask her what she likes to do for fun, how she got into that, what her hobbies are. but you also want to gauge her interest level, does she help you out conversation wise? is she enthusiastic? does she help you keep the conversation flowing? you also want to make sure that you’re not firing question, after question, after question, like you’re a CIA interrogator asking a prisoner in Guantanamo Bay. Keep it simple, light and fun. Hahah yes that’s a classic one that I hear everytime. «Don’t ask her questions like it’s a job interview» Well It’s too soon to tell if she help me keep my conversation flowing. I can tell you what I did notice when she was talking to my good friend. She seemed enthusiastic to him because she wanted to know more about programming (my friend studies that) but at the same time I could feel she was just pretending to be interested. As for helping to keep the conversation flowing I don’t know. All we did was cracking jokes to each other.
Garcon1986 Posted January 6, 2019 Posted January 6, 2019 The logical way to keep conversation flowing is to keep making comments about the last thing she said, that way you are on topic. It's very logical
MetallicHue Posted January 6, 2019 Posted January 6, 2019 I wouldn’t say make it forced but I always feel like humor is a good way to keep a conversation flowing.
Author Tagalz Posted January 7, 2019 Author Posted January 7, 2019 (edited) The logical way to keep conversation flowing is to keep making comments about the last thing she said, that way you are on topic. It's very logical So if she says «I like Ice cream» I’ll comment on that? I could say:» I like it too what flavour do you prefer?» TBH I’m not good at keeping conversations around girls because I always for some reason feel pressured to talk because the girls have a high expectations. For example that they need to bond in order for both to be friends or that it’s always the guys that have to start the convo. If I compare to me talking around guys I feel less pressured. It has something to do with I have more friends that are male, but also that Guys don’t have any expectations like girls do Edited January 7, 2019 by Tagalz
Garcon1986 Posted January 7, 2019 Posted January 7, 2019 It is crucial to have a conversation such that you are confident enough that you don't care about the outcome. Women can smell desperation at 1000 yards and reject it like there's no tomorrow. They have trained themselves to do this. Women on the other admire confidence and find it attractive. Use the adrenaline rush of having a beautiful woman in front of you to power your confidence, redirect that energy. If the conversation starts about ice cream - try to sustain a 15 minute conversation about food and ice cream, by making your next sentence somewhat related to the previous sentence. Just practice that. Your partners will start calling you an amazing conversationalist.
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