meagan93 Posted January 5, 2019 Posted January 5, 2019 (edited) I've been living with my boyfriend for 2 years. Before living with him, we were a long distance couple for a year. I recently quit my full-time job because I've been frustrated on the work and stressed out. I've been worried about my mom who is in her 60s, lives with my bro and has recently been falling around the home. And my boyfriend got fired from his job 3 months ago and sits on his A$$ playing video games. With my job, I started off part- time then Full- time and I never felt happy there. I didn't tell my boyfriend that i wanted to quit. Because with my last job, I stated I was losing too much sleep and i was going to start looking for another job. His response was angry telling me to do what i wanna do and to get over my feelings. While I was working part- time before full- time, he lost his previous job. And I ended up depleting my money paycheck to paycheck from buying food, paying our car insurance bill, and other things. He would call me broke and try to put tabs on my money, and he would state "i'm able to pay the house bills with no job and you're broke". Yet the last bill he paid, he got the money from his mom. His brother who is an attendant in the house, gives him money on the first of the month but it's not enough to pay all the bills. I would argue with him about getting a job since he has his cdls. After quitting my job, I told my boyfriend my reasoning and he stated he wasn't going to honor them. And he wanted me to pack my belongings and go(which he has stated that plenty of times in the past). I ended up spending a week with my family for Christmas and came back to my boyfriend having a roommate. My boyfriend has recently humiliated me in front of our roommate about me quitting my job and not helping him. While the roommate roots for him stating he got his back and he'll help him. Bascially trying to make me feel like I've done nothing in our relationship. I thought about living with my brother but there's really no room for me. So im basically still living here trying to figure out whats my next step. Any advice? Edited January 5, 2019 by meagan93
Zahara Posted January 5, 2019 Posted January 5, 2019 (edited) When my father lost his job, we moved into my grandmother’s home. A tiny one bedroom flat with 5 adults and 2 teenagers. We made it work for a few months. I’d rather live in a cardboard box than live with this man. I suggest you try to make it work at your brother’s home until you find a job. You spent a week living with your family so there is way, even if you have to rough it out for awhile. This is why it’s never advisable to quit before you secure a new job. Plus you’ve depleted all your savings for a lousy partner. I’m not sure why you’ve tolerated such poor treatment for so long and I have to wonder if you’re back there because there’s some part of you that still doesn’t want to let go. The fact that he’s told you to pack up and leave numerous times but you’ve kept going back leads me to believe you still want to be there. Whose home is it and are you both on the lease? Edited January 5, 2019 by Zahara
Author meagan93 Posted January 6, 2019 Author Posted January 6, 2019 I've never quit a job without having one lined up.
Zahara Posted January 6, 2019 Posted January 6, 2019 Time to pick up your self-respect and leave. If a man has kicked you out numerous times, you need to see the relationship for what it is and stop holding on. I’m not sure why you keep going back when this man has utter contempt for you. Lack of space is a better alternative than clinging to a man that continues to degrade you. The latter is stripping away at your dignity. The former, while temporarily uncomfortable will begin to create a path of healing and moving on - in every aspect of your life.
basil67 Posted January 6, 2019 Posted January 6, 2019 I've never quit a job without having one lined up. That's good. I too thought you were unemployed. As he's asked you to leave numerous times...and you have a job...then you must go. Couch surf at your brothers till you find a share house to live in. Or a little flat of your own.
Author meagan93 Posted January 6, 2019 Author Posted January 6, 2019 No, I am unemployed. Using when I quit a job I would have lined up but this time I didn't. I'm happy that I left that miserable job but at the same time I should have had another gig right away. I've put in other job applications before quitting and one called me back. He hasn't physically throw my belongings out. He would just argue with me stating I could leave if I don't like it at the house. I know what's going on and I shouldn't keep tolerating this. I suppose to be getting my W-2 forms in the mail and I know if I left now he would take his time mailing them to me. I know it's dumb, but I'm waiting on them in the mail now.
stillafool Posted January 6, 2019 Posted January 6, 2019 You can always call your former employer and give them a change of address. You don't have to stay just because of the W-2s. They will send them where you want.
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