Hollywood-Tourist Posted January 5, 2019 Posted January 5, 2019 Not that it really matters anymore, but I was just looking for some input from others here about what you think of my (ex) girlfriends behaviour in these circumstances. She likes to spend most of her time at home not doing a lot in the house. But, there have been several times that I have suggested going for a walk, visit my family, shopping etc which at the time she seems all for doing. So I would arrange with my brother and his girlfriend to meet up in town for a meal a couple of weeks beforehand, BUT, on the day of the meal my girlfriend always claims to be 'tired' and refuses to go! Obviously this frustrates me and especially given the very short notice (usually an hour before we're meant to go out) which leaves me with no option but to go myself. She has backed out of other things last minute and I felt like I could never really plan anything because at the back of my mind I would know she wouldn't always go through with what she at the time agreed to. She has said in response to me showing my frustration that I just need to 'deal with it and that's it' - never apologising or acknowledging my feelings in this equation. We were booked to go to a hotel for a few nights recently and on the day of us meant to be going, she at the last minute again said she was 'too tired' to go. I suggested I drive there and she sleeps in the car but she wasn't having any of it. We lost several hundred pounds because of her no show. She doesn't seem to grasp that money is important and she doesn't realise the value of it as when I said are we going or not, she said no and I don't care if it cost a few grand to go! I suggested she drive since she suggested booking the hotel trip but she claimed she didn't know where to go even though I have a Sat Nav! I have done all of the driving 99% of the time on longer journeys but she seemed to throw up a poor excuse. Maybe she is better being my ex girlfriend now. This is odd behaviour from a grown woman in my opinion. Thoughts?
BaileyB Posted January 5, 2019 Posted January 5, 2019 Considering that she is also sexting another man in your other post, I would say that you were very wise to change her title to “ex” girlfriend. Dude, for whatever reason, this isn’t normal behavior for a healthy woman or a healthy relationship.
d0nnivain Posted January 5, 2019 Posted January 5, 2019 She was never all that into you. These are just examples of how you were not a priority. If she was into you she would have been moving heaven & earth to be with you. Since she is now an EX which is for the best. Going forward if you see this kind of lukewarm behavior recognize it as disinterest
Author Hollywood-Tourist Posted January 5, 2019 Author Posted January 5, 2019 Considering that she is also sexting another man in your other post, I would say that you were very wise to change her title to “ex” girlfriend. Dude, for whatever reason, this isn’t normal behavior for a healthy woman or a healthy relationship. Thanks Bailey. I've never cheated on anyone before but this is the first time that I've been cheated on. I agree and recognise that it isn't healthy or normal behaviour by what she is doing. I think she may have mental health issues but it still hurts, her actions do, cheating is a choice not an option.
BaileyB Posted January 5, 2019 Posted January 5, 2019 Thanks Bailey. I've never cheated on anyone before but this is the first time that I've been cheated on. I agree and recognise that it isn't healthy or normal behaviour by what she is doing. I think she may have mental health issues but it still hurts, her actions do, cheating is a choice not an option. It hurts, but be clear on this - cheating was her decision, not yours. She is 100% responsible for this situation and the end of this relationship.
Author Hollywood-Tourist Posted January 5, 2019 Author Posted January 5, 2019 She was never all that into you. These are just examples of how you were not a priority. If she was into you she would have been moving heaven & earth to be with you. Since she is now an EX which is for the best. Going forward if you see this kind of lukewarm behavior recognize it as disinterest Do you know, you are right - I had a felling at the back of my mind that she was never really into me as much as she once was at the beginning of our relationship. It all happens gradually, the disinterest, deceit, lying and sneaky behaviour.
Author Hollywood-Tourist Posted January 5, 2019 Author Posted January 5, 2019 It hurts, but be clear on this - cheating was her decision, not yours. She is 100% responsible for this situation and the end of this relationship. Cheating is always a choice, not an option in a relationship. And I agree with you that she is responsible for the demise of the relationship as per her actions.
d0nnivain Posted January 5, 2019 Posted January 5, 2019 The trick is when you see the decline happening address it then & right the ship before you get too far off course. But if the other person prefers the new direction you may have to let them sail away without you.
Author Hollywood-Tourist Posted January 5, 2019 Author Posted January 5, 2019 The trick is when you see the decline happening address it then & right the ship before you get too far off course. But if the other person prefers the new direction you may have to let them sail away without you. Good advice there, something I admittedly didn't so which I should have done. Point taken and noted for future reference. Thanks Donnivian. 1
Redhead14 Posted January 5, 2019 Posted January 5, 2019 (edited) Not that it really matters anymore, but I was just looking for some input from others here about what you think of my (ex) girlfriends behaviour in these circumstances.<snip> "This is odd behavior from a grown woman" -- It isn't odd for an immature woman. It's also odd that a grown man would tolerate that kind of treatment from an immature woman for an extended period of time. Why is she unreliable? Well, #1- she's immature and #2 - you were not her first priority . . . Why is she immature? You're going to have to go back to her upbringing and history. Luckily, you just got grazed by this bullet. Edited January 5, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Truncate quote 1
Author Hollywood-Tourist Posted January 5, 2019 Author Posted January 5, 2019 "This is odd behavior from a grown woman" -- It isn't odd for an immature woman. It's also odd that a grown man would tolerate that kind of treatment from an immature woman for an extended period of time. Why is she unreliable? Well, #1- she's immature and #2 - you were not her first priority . . . Why is she immature? You're going to have to go back to her upbringing and history. Luckily, you just got grazed by this bullet. She is 39yrs old, so more than old enough to know better really! You often find that no matter your age, immaturity and unreliability go hand in hand so it doesn't actually surprise me now that she is like that, I just never opened my eyes to it fully at once. I know that she did have a rough and rocky upbringing but to be honest I overlooked this during our relationship which has in a way shown itself now.
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