Author Hollywood-Tourist Posted January 14, 2019 Author Posted January 14, 2019 I call this the "Angry Phase".. When the lame half-ass attempts to reel you back in fails to work, the angry and nasty side is revealed. Do not be shocked when she shows up at your door in tears. Don't fall for her games. This is actually what I would say is a scary and tense time. I will need to be assertive in making sure she doesn't turn loopy and start doing crazy things if she does turn up. Is this normal for someone to do this post break up?
El Duendecillo Posted January 14, 2019 Posted January 14, 2019 Normal? When cheaters get caught and then dumped, there is no such thing as normal. She probably never expected that you would end the relationship over her sexting, and that she could gaslight you into believing her sexting was innocent fun. It is curious what she wants from you at this point??? I mean she would not give you an answer as to whether she wanted a second chance. I would guess that she is attempting to string you along, hoping that you will be her plan B. Whatever her reasoning is, at this point just maintain NC, block her, and do not let her into your home if she shows up at your door. Stay strong! 1
Author Hollywood-Tourist Posted January 16, 2019 Author Posted January 16, 2019 (edited) Ok, so I blocked her a few days ago and just last night I've had two text messages from a number I didn't recognise and it was her (again) asking why I'm not talking to her? Seriously! It looks like she's went and bought a new SIM Card so that she can text me and now I've had to block that too! My ex is now proving herself to be unstable in my opinion and it is starting to annoy me. I will continue to not respond and block but I just don't understand why she wants to maintain contact when I told her we are done? Of course she knows I'm very depressed and hurt at her actions which led me to end the relationship but talk about kicking a man when he's down! Edited January 21, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Remove bolding 1
Chi townD Posted January 20, 2019 Posted January 20, 2019 Okay, here's my opinion and it's going to hurt. But, you either pull the bandage off quickly or slowly. I prefer quickly and let's get over it. She's already slept with this guy and she is feeling guilty as hell. One thing about most girls is they hate the fact that there might be someone on this planet that hates them or doesn't think that they are a good person. Drives them nuts. SO! She's reaching out to you to see if this is the case. She's looking to you to ease her guilt. For her to say to herself "Oh look! We're broken up and we're still cool with each other!" Don't ease her guilt. Let her hold onto it to learn from it. That you can't behave that way and expect people to be cool with it. Just block her and move on. Ignore her!
JustAnotherLostLove Posted January 21, 2019 Posted January 21, 2019 (edited) My girlfriend of 7 months who is 8yrs older than me have split up because I caught her Whatsapping a guy who she met on a dating website (where we met each other) recently and what turned from friendly chat, became sexting.<snip> Do you think I am wrong to have looked at her phone or was she wrong to have an emotional affair behind my back? She was absolutely wrong to do that, and you were wrong to snoop, but the fact that you felt like you had to snoop to begin with, should tell you she's the wrong one for you. Without question, lose her, move on. I would NEVER want to be in a relationship with a woman I couldn't trust. Edited January 21, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Truncate quote
Author Hollywood-Tourist Posted January 21, 2019 Author Posted January 21, 2019 Okay, here's my opinion and it's going to hurt. But, you either pull the bandage off quickly or slowly. I prefer quickly and let's get over it. She's already slept with this guy and she is feeling guilty as hell. One thing about most girls is they hate the fact that there might be someone on this planet that hates them or doesn't think that they are a good person. Drives them nuts. SO! She's reaching out to you to see if this is the case. She's looking to you to ease her guilt. For her to say to herself "Oh look! We're broken up and we're still cool with each other!" Don't ease her guilt. Let her hold onto it to learn from it. That you can't behave that way and expect people to be cool with it. Just block her and move on. Ignore her! What makes you think she's slept with him? I just think that she is being vindictive and trying to pass the buck because she doesn't accept responsibility for her actions. She's shown her true colours now for sure and of course she's not the woman I thought she was when we first got together. She's such a hypocrite!
Author Hollywood-Tourist Posted January 21, 2019 Author Posted January 21, 2019 She was absolutely wrong to do that, and you were wrong to snoop, but the fact that you felt like you had to snoop to begin with, should tell you she's the wrong one for you. Without question, lose her, move on. I would NEVER want to be in a relationship with a woman I couldn't trust. I only snooped because my intuition was telling me that something was up with her lately and her texting habits going on until the early hours of the morning. I don't agree when you say that because I had to snoop on her to begin with means that she's the wrong one for me. What do you mean exactly? I snooped because I got a feeling that she was up to no good texting at odd ties when she's in bed much earlier normally. I don't trust her anymore because my suspicions were CORRECT, she was up to no good behind my back whilst continuing to lie to me in the process. 1
Author Hollywood-Tourist Posted January 21, 2019 Author Posted January 21, 2019 (edited) Well, my mate texted me earlier today to say that he had just by chance seen my ex girlfriends profile very much active on a dating website. All I said to him was that I wasn't interested and that it clearly didn't take her long to 'move on' - nearly three weeks!! It's her loss, her loss. Edited January 21, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Remove bolding
El Duendecillo Posted January 22, 2019 Posted January 22, 2019 All I said to him was that I wasn't interested and that it clearly didn't take her long to 'move on' - nearly three weeks!! Good riddance! There's a bit of closure somewhere in there for you. If you ever doubt you made the right decision ending things with her, let this info be confirmation. How are you feeling about your situation 3 weeks out? Are you starting to feel like your healing process has begun? 1
Author Hollywood-Tourist Posted January 22, 2019 Author Posted January 22, 2019 Good riddance! There's a bit of closure somewhere in there for you. If you ever doubt you made the right decision ending things with her, let this info be confirmation. How are you feeling about your situation 3 weeks out? Are you starting to feel like your healing process has begun? I'm not sure what you mean by closure though? I know that I have ultimately made the right decision and I cannot and will not stand cheaters - I couldn't trust her ever again after that. To be honest, I'm still a mix of emotions at the moment and wouldn't say I'm near the healing process. Obviously in a way I still love her, but she has shown me what she really is and that outweighs the plus points to her.
PRW Posted January 22, 2019 Posted January 22, 2019 I told her we are done and she didn't seem too bothered actually.She was already "done with you",...the sexting was nothing more than a symptom. The only reason you were still together is because she hasn't had a better option come along. She doesn't consider this other guy a real option,...he is just "fun for the moment",...otherwise she would have just dumped you for him the moment they made contact. Yes, things haven't been great between us,Not surprised. but we have got past rocky patches in the relationship.Or so you thought. You didn't get passed anything, she just put you in a holding pattern till a better option came along. Do you think I am wrong to have looked at her phone or was she wrong to have an emotional affair behind my back?It doesn't really matter now. The death of the relationship has already been in process for a while. 1
Author Hollywood-Tourist Posted January 22, 2019 Author Posted January 22, 2019 She was already "done with you",...the sexting was nothing more than a symptom. The only reason you were still together is because she hasn't had a better option come along. She doesn't consider this other guy a real option,...he is just "fun for the moment",...otherwise she would have just dumped you for him the moment they made contact. Yes, he is nothing more than a booty call to her pretty much and not a permanent fixture. I never had her down as a sl*g though, but what does it matter now, she is what she is as she has proven herself to be. Not surprised. Why then? Or so you thought. You didn't get passed anything, she just put you in a holding pattern till a better option came along. Maybe we did but she obviously had an agenda all along. It doesn't really matter now. The death of the relationship has already been in process for a while. I would say so, but she didn't have the guts to end it with me, instead stringing me and the relationship along.
PRW Posted January 22, 2019 Posted January 22, 2019 I would say so, but she didn't have the guts to end it with me, instead stringing me and the relationship along.It isn't nearly as complicated or devious as you are making it. She just didn't have a good enough reason to dump you,...yet. That is all it is. You just simply blew it up prematurely by confronting her. No more complicated than that. It is just the way reality is. Get used to it. The solution is to be more self-aware of the situation you are in and getting a better understanding of how attraction works. When you understand how attraction works you will always know where you stand without having to ask and you don't get blind-sided,...and more importantly you don't unknowingly erode the attraction by making mistakes you aren't aware you are making. You can either sit back as a victim and complain about the Game,...or you can learn to play the Game to win. This stuff is all over YouTube, but a good simple place to absorb the basics is a YouTube channel called "FarFromAverage". The videos are short and simple and are animated like a "Presentation".
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