redladybug28 Posted January 4, 2019 Posted January 4, 2019 hi guys, i'll try to make this short. LDR we had amazing amazing connection before meeting. i then felt a little iffy when i met him (new people are scary!) and he must've felt my energy b.c. our chemistry wasn't amazing (but it was fine.. certainly not bad, had some fun times) and when he got back to his home state *he* called it off saying he didnt think we were romantically a match, but he still loved me as a friend and we facetimed for days and days after the breakup - he was the one who initiated all the calls.. i personally think it takes time to build a genuine, passionate connection and that it doesn't come immediately upon meeting (and if it does, sometimes that means it's all a fantasy!) i was ready for a steady, realistic love. it didn't hurt too much to talk after the breakup over facetime because we'd only been dating for a month and again, had only met in person once. however, now he tells me he's started talking to someone new. someone much farther away from him than i was... him-usa- her-UK... i feel sad to no longer be the special person, his go-to person that i was even after our break-up, but the confusing thing is... after the breakup initially he told me he feels like we could get back together in the future but wants to stay open now, and that he *does* have emotional, romantic, and physical feelings toward me. even with this new girl he assured me our friendship was solid and that he 'loved me to death'. but i feel lousy about this new girl. my question is: do i stay friends, go away for a short period of time, or go away forever? i want him back lol...
preraph Posted January 4, 2019 Posted January 4, 2019 He's not interested in your romantically anymore, so you may as well move on. Sorry. No one tells you they just want to be friends if there's even a chance they may want more sometime.
Fekenaws Posted January 7, 2019 Posted January 7, 2019 In my experience, the word "friends" means there is no hope for a romantic future. If he was avoiding using that term, I'd say there is some ambiguity. But the fact that he actually said you guys are friends means he has lost all interest in that regard, if he had any, to begin with. Decide if you want him in your life platonically, and then move on.
d0nnivain Posted January 7, 2019 Posted January 7, 2019 The "connect" you claim to have felt before you met was not real. It was all in your head. You both fell for the person you thought the other was. Once you met, it didn't click for him. You weren't what he wanted & he told you that. Unfortunately he tried to sugar coat it. It's cruel to be kind but that is what he did by giving you some false hope about being friends & seeing what happens in the future. Let him go. Find somebody local & have a conventional relationship. It will cause less heartache
ExpatInItaly Posted January 7, 2019 Posted January 7, 2019 (edited) *he* called it off saying he didnt think we were romantically a match, but he still loved me as a friend This doesn't line up with this:after the breakup initially he told me he feels like we could get back together in the future but wants to stay open now, and that he *does* have emotional, romantic, and physical feelings toward me. even with this new girl he assured me our friendship was solid and that he 'loved me to death'.And this, combined with his talk of lingering "feelings" above is his misguided way of trying to soften the blow for you. It's also possible he'd like to keep you warm as a back-up, in case things with his new girl don't work out. I don't think his offer of friendship should be taken as a sign of something more. Many dumpers will suggest staying friends; for them, that transition is easy because they don't have the same romantic attachment that their dumpee has. As such, I would not read into it. Take your space so you can heal and don't engage with him as much if he's still pursuing this other woman. Your heart will wind up in a blender if you do. Edited January 7, 2019 by ExpatInItaly
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