ascofield Posted January 4, 2019 Posted January 4, 2019 (edited) Hey everyone, I'm french so I apologize for my errors in english. I'm flirting back and forth with a coworker who is quite shy. She already canceled 2 dates in october but she continues to tell me that she likes me very much and she loves to always tease me. She told me that if I wasn't there she would miss me very much and she told she wouldn't know what to do if I wasn't there. I gave her a scarf 3 weeks ago and she wore it the last week before the holidays, saying that the scarf was better than all the other scarves. Anyway I suggested to her to introduce her to a close cousin of mine (a girl) during the christmas holidays. She was very excited to meet her. She even initiated a text conversation saying how much she would be happy to meet her, joking that my cousin will be her best friend and that she will give her information about me so she could tease me even more. I told her that my cousin said she would be glad to meet her too. The last day of work, just before the holidays (friday 21st), i send her a text to tell her that I'll talk with my cousin about the meeting and wished her happy holidays. No response... So the day after, I send her another text telling her that I got no response to my prevcious text and asked her if she was still willing to meet my cousin. She answered that she was sorry and she forgot to answer my first text. She said she was still willing to meet my cousin and she was exited about it. In response, I teased her a bit and told her that I will call her during the 2nd week of the vacations. Last sunday (December 30th) I send her a text telling her that I will call her late in the evening and I asked her if she will be available at this hour. She knew that I'll call to arrange the meeting with my cousin and me. No response... And now, almost 1 week after my text, still no response. I'm completely confused. Is it because she's shy? Is it her way of saying that she's not interested anymore? Even if she's not interested anymore, she could at least send a text to tell me that she can't make it. But she didn't send anything... Despite all her compliments, I'm thinking that she did that to make me understand that she's not interested anymore. But why would she tell me many times that she was excited at the idea that I will introduce her to my cousin? Moreover, it would be a dick move to not reply at all. Frankly, that's what hurts me the most, not having any answer. Plus it will be awkward at work when we will se each other again. My sister tells me that it's because she's shy and changed her mind about meeting my cousin, and she didn't have the courage to cancel so she just didn't answer altogether. In her opinion, it's because she didn't want to hurt me nor admit her shyness. What do you guys think? Do you think she didn't answer to make me understand that she wasn't interested (even though she told me many times she was excited to meet her) ? ...or is it because she was too shy to cancel the meeting and didn't have the courage to answer the text? Thanks for your opinions. Edited January 4, 2019 by ascofield
d0nnivain Posted January 4, 2019 Posted January 4, 2019 Your English is fine. Her manners need work. I don't' think this is shyness problem. I think the girl simply wants to do the minimal to keep you around, interested & stroking her ego without actually going on a date with you. Hence she "forgets' to respond. Because you work together be cordial but that is about it.
Malin889 Posted January 4, 2019 Posted January 4, 2019 Honestly there could be so many reasons why someone hasn’t texted back – not that it makes it right. Are you guys still on holiday from work? Maybe she’s been busy with family, her kids, maybe she’s on holiday with friends somewhere? I think you should wait until you both come back from work, and mention it then, and see what she says. Yes, she should have responded to your text – so many times I’ve reached out to people and haven’t heard back. I do the same sometimes. Not on purpose of course, but it happens. In fact, I still haven’t heard back from a text I sent to a friend of mine that I sent out a couple days ago – and that’s ok, ‘cause I know eventually they’ll text back. I think you should wait til you both come back from work holiday and mention it again.
grays Posted January 4, 2019 Posted January 4, 2019 I wouldn’t spend too much time trying to figure it out. The odds are that it has more/everything to do with her or what’s going on in her life than you. And either way, you’ll probably never know. If I was you, I’d send an, “are you okay?” text and leave it at that. 2
Malin889 Posted January 4, 2019 Posted January 4, 2019 Also, you put this post under “dating” - are you two dating?
PRW Posted January 4, 2019 Posted January 4, 2019 She just isn't very interested in you. She doesn't dislike you,...she probably likes you just fine as a friend. But I interpret this as her not being romantically interested. 1
smackie9 Posted January 4, 2019 Posted January 4, 2019 (edited) She has anxiety. That's why she ghosts, or cancels and it looks rude when she doesn't reply. only a therapist can fix her behavior...there is nothing you can do yourself. I suspect she's ok putting you in the friends zone at work. seems she is quite entertained with it. Or she's one of those bull ****ty people that tell you what you want to hear to look good but could care less about you and flake. Edited January 4, 2019 by smackie9
preraph Posted January 4, 2019 Posted January 4, 2019 I would take more seriously the fact she keeps saying she enjoys "teasing" you, because that isn't the same as flirting. That is literally kind of encouraging you with no intent to follow through. And she's said it twice, according to you. She's not shy. I don't know why you'd think so. Shy people certainly don't say, Oh, I love teasing you. If she was very interested, she wouldn't be putting you off. I think she realizes her teasing you has gotten her in deeper than she intended. Ask her on a real date and accept the answer.
manfrombelow2 Posted January 5, 2019 Posted January 5, 2019 She just does not like you, end of story. Nobody is too "busy" to not be able to text the person they like. If I were you, I'd delete her number and invest my time and efforts in other girls instead of sticking around (wasting time) with this particular girl. Remember: "You don't chase after somebody who doesn't want you."
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