Ex broke no contact after 30 days of me telling her not to contact me

[Grisha]

Update for those who have read my previous threads.

Her ex who I thought she went back to is now in a relationship.

This shows that he is actually not the reason why she left me.

I guess she wasn’t lying when she told me she loved me and was very attracted to me, but didn’t feel like we were meant for each other because of our different beliefs.

I’ve always felt that her beliefs did become much deeper during the year we were together, but I was in love already and didn’t think it would effect our relationship.

Well it did to her. I guess she wants someone who will be a hippy with her and that’s a big deal to her now.

Anyways.. that’s a whole other story..

 

So after she broke up with me we left on good terms. I never contacted her. She’d contact me every few days and I’d just keep things short with her. After about 6 weeks I told her that I can’t keep in contact with her unless she wants to be more than friends.

She said “okay if that’s what you want, you need to do what’s best for you.”

I didn’t respond.

30 days went by and she contacts me asking for help translating a dmv document.. I respond and help her in 3-4 messages.

2 days later (today) she messages me telling me everything went well and solved.

I expected her to be back. I know for sure she’s not into her ex now. We got along really well. It’s obvious she’s having trouble letting me go eventhough she knows she wants someone who has her beliefs.

This is very hard for me because we never fought. All of our memories and thoughts have been positive.

I am extremely attracted to her. I just don’t understand how I’m supposed to move on if I’m expecting her to be back.

Even though she has hippie like beliefs, she’s very innocent and shy. You can just tell she’s not a very sexual person.

She is the girl I talked about in my previous post about feeling uncomfortable with making out. She told me she has to feel more comfortable with me first. She goes down on me every time and doesn’t want me going down on her or kissing her.. she feels uncomfortable with those two things.

I know she’s going to contact me again about something.. it sucks that now I’m caught playing the waiting game and feel terrible if I sleep with another girl.

[Marc878]

No contact is up to you not her.

 

You like getting manipulated keep it up.

[d0nnivain]

As long as you hold out hope & keep expecting her back, you will not move on. You are tethering yourself to her. Stop. As much as you long for her return, face the fact that it won't happen. You thought she left for her EX & that once he rejected her she'd come back to you. Why you would want to be the person she settled for I don't know. But you still have to face the reality that your relationship is over. Once you accept that you will be on the road to recovery.

 

If you need NC to complete your healing, when she reaches out, don't answer. You are not obligated to respond to her. She's no longer your GF. She's just somebody you used to know.

[Grisha]

As long as you hold out hope & keep expecting her back, you will not move on. You are tethering yourself to her. Stop. As much as you long for her return, face the fact that it won't happen. You thought she left for her EX & that once he rejected her she'd come back to you. Why you would want to be the person she settled for I don't know. But you still have to face the reality that your relationship is over. Once you accept that you will be on the road to recovery.

 

If you need NC to complete your healing, when she reaches out, don't answer. You are not obligated to respond to her. She's no longer your GF. She's just somebody you used to know.

 

She broke up with me because her beliefs no longer matched mine and she felt like she feels like she is on a spiritual journey and sees that we are not meant to be together because I’m not into spirituality the way she is. She was felt like I would grow spiritually with her but I realized she’s getting wayyy too deep and I’ll never be in it that deep because our goals are different. I have goals set with my career and investing and realistic life things while she’s all about that spiritual life. She gets bad anxiety and depression so I don’t question her beliefs because this is how she copes with her anxiety and depression.

Anyways I called bull**** in my head and just went along with it without asking for more closure because I assumed she was just leaving me for someone else..

But it’s been almost 10 weeks and she isn’t dating the only 2 guys I was assuming it was. Her ex who has been wanting her for over a year finally moved on and got a gf.

I guess she’s not a liar. Everything I was assuming was wrong and I’m starting to see that she really didn’t leave me for someone. She just left for what she was saying.

Some days she’s completely normal and we laugh and have fun but other days she goes quiet and feels like she needs to save the world and gets into this “bigger purpose” mentality and pulls away from me. Tells me humans are going to be reaching ascension and the world will change and all this confusing beliefs.

It’s just hard because I love her and I’ve never gone through a breakup where we broke up just because our goals are different.

She even told me she’s not sure how she’ll feel in the future with her beliefs and how she’ll feel about us.

Edited January 4, 2019 by Grisha

[d0nnivain]

Fact remains, she broke up with you. Whether for somebody else or for her spiritual beliefs she concluded that you 2 are not a good match & she walked. When you talk to her; when you look at her social media; when you hope that she's coming back you undermine your own recovery. She's being friendly. By doing so she is keeping you tied to her (even if not in mean way). You remain tied to her 10 weeks later because you want to be. You have failed to set boundaries for yourself where she is out of your life.

 

 

You control your own destiny. Step one is letting go. Acknowledge that your relationship ended & will not be reinstated. Go from there.

[Fekenaws]

The next time you talk tell her this verbatim, "Listen we need to talk. I enjoy talking to you and I'm happy you're happy, but friendship doesn't work for me. Give me a call if you change your mind in the future." Then go no contact and never look back. Don't like her posts, don't view her stories, etc. If she reaches out to you, assume she is trying to get back together and set a date. If her answer is anything other than yes, rinse and repeat the first line and go no contact. She will eventually get bored and move on or come back to you.

[preraph]

Block her! That's what no contact is, so you KNOW there is no possibility she will contact you and you can stop thinking about it and getting false hope.

[manfrombelow2]

Actually, when an ex reaches out to you, always assume they want you back, and just invite them for dinner or something along the line of "Hangout - Have fun and Hook up".

 

Of course, if that's the case, she will have to work really hard to earn you back, but that's another story here.

 

 

If you need NC to complete your healing, when she reaches out, don't answer. You are not obligated to respond to her. She's no longer your GF. She's just somebody you used to know.