TiredOfWondering Posted January 3, 2019 Posted January 3, 2019 I got dumped by my boyfriend. It was messy and he said and did mean things. He blocked me on Facebook and said I couldn’t contact him anymore. A couple of months later he unblocks me. Why? It’s maybe silly but I want to understand... He is in a serious relathionship now and has not made contact. Me neither.
nolanola Posted January 4, 2019 Posted January 4, 2019 It's really hard to say. Could be so that you can see how great he's doing without you. Can he see your posts? Maybe he's curious about what you're up to. If he's been in this new relationship for a while, it could be that the new-ness of it is wearing off and he's wondering about you again. The real question is, should you block him now? Will you be ok seeing pictures of him and his girlfriend in your feed? That would make me want to throw up, but maybe you're in a better place about everything.
Author TiredOfWondering Posted January 4, 2019 Author Posted January 4, 2019 I know... It’s hard to say. I never got any closure and he ment alot to me, so this makes me think of him more than I already did. Our accounts are private so none of us can see what the other person is up to. I know that I should block him, but a part of me wants him to check up on me (so I can feel that I mattered) and also show him that I have no hard feelings. Yes the thought of him with someone else hurts big time.. Did you block? How does it feel?
nolanola Posted January 4, 2019 Posted January 4, 2019 My ex is not on social media, so that makes it a bit easier. It's really hard not to stalk him in other ways (his company IS on facebook and they post things about him a lot), but I have been really good about not doing this. We have a lot of friends in common, some of them are on Facebook, but I don't get on there enough to worry too much. But, when I see a post of theirs I get nervous they might mention something about him. Personally, I think the less you know about them, the easier it is. 1
TheBetterPerson Posted January 4, 2019 Posted January 4, 2019 I got dumped by my boyfriend. It was messy and he said and did mean things. He blocked me on Facebook and said I couldn’t contact him anymore. A couple of months later he unblocks me. Why? It’s maybe silly but I want to understand... He is in a serious relathionship now and has not made contact. Me neither. Then this gives you chance to block him now! If he has someone else, move on! Don't look, dont dwell and dont stalk! you will only hurt yourself. I hope the process moves quickly for you x 1
Author TiredOfWondering Posted January 4, 2019 Author Posted January 4, 2019 (edited) Thank you friend. No, I don’t want him back. The break up was so bad that I know he have never loved me and never will. I also believe he loves the one he’s with now. You are right. This is keeping me from moving on and I’m tired of thinking about him and the situation. But the thing is, his last words and actions did hurt me really bad and make me question my worth and my judgement (”how can you be such an idiot and love someone that obviously hated you?”) So I think I’m not blocking to make it possible for him to check up on me or (which is unlikely) apologize. Because then maybe he did care about me and I wont think negative thoughts of myself which I do now. And him unblocking me now made me think that maybe he does want to say something/is saying something.. Edited January 4, 2019 by TiredOfWondering
elaine567 Posted January 4, 2019 Posted January 4, 2019 No, I don’t want him back. The break up was so bad that I know he have never loved me and never will. I also believe he loves the one he’s with now. You are right. This is keeping me from moving on and I’m tired of thinking about him and the situation. But the thing is, his last words and actions did hurt me really bad and make me question my worth and my judgement (”how can you be such an idiot and love someone that obviously hated you?”) He has moved on and so should you. Wallowing in stuff that doesn't now matter or is totally irrelevant to the situation you are in now does you no good whatsoever. People say all sorts of things during break ups, he was lashing out to make sure you got the message, stayed away and let him get on with his new life. It was a throwaway line, so stop obsessing over it. NC is your friend, accept it with open arms and start healing.
stillafool Posted January 4, 2019 Posted January 4, 2019 Thank you friend. No, I don’t want him back. The break up was so bad that I know he have never loved me and never will. I also believe he loves the one he’s with now. You are right. This is keeping me from moving on and I’m tired of thinking about him and the situation. But the thing is, his last words and actions did hurt me really bad and make me question my worth and my judgement (”how can you be such an idiot and love someone that obviously hated you?”) So I think I’m not blocking to make it possible for him to check up on me or (which is unlikely) apologize. Because then maybe he did care about me and I wont think negative thoughts of myself which I do now. And him unblocking me now made me think that maybe he does want to say something/is saying something.. The thing is he is probably not checking up on you. He probably mindlessly unblocked because time has passed and he figures you've moved on. If you think staying unblocked is preventing you from moving on than you must block him. Why would you let what he thinks of you change your view of yourself?
Author TiredOfWondering Posted January 4, 2019 Author Posted January 4, 2019 (edited) Thanks you guys for making me see thing from a diffrent view. I just feel so stuck. I hope and will try to believe that it was a throwaway line. I never thought about that. One of the things he said was ”you have nothing to offer a man, you will never be in a relathionship that will work” and ”you never mattered”. I think lines like that got stuck im my mind because I maybe have a low self esteem and am afraid of never finding true love, not being good enough, so I want him to take those words back. Maybe thats why I let what he’s thinking affect my view on myself. Yes NC was hard at the start but I feel much better and would never break it. I guess though that it’s not 100 procent NC if you think about it and dwell... I will try to manage without blocking. Just don’t feel strong enough to cut the hope of a ”I didn’t mean what I said”. But I realize that it’s what I have to do in the end if it doesn’’t get better. Edited January 4, 2019 by TiredOfWondering
elaine567 Posted January 4, 2019 Posted January 4, 2019 I hope and will try to believe that it was a throwaway line. I never thought about that. One of the things he said was ”you have nothing to offer a man, you will never be in a relathionship that will work” and ”you never mattered”. I think lines like that got stuck im my mind because I maybe have a low self esteem and am afraid of never finding true love, not being good enough, so I want him to take those words back. Maybe thats why I let what he’s thinking affect my view on myself. He was a real charmer... What are his qualifications for judging you? Who the hell is he anyway? I guess he was the one who lowered your self esteem in the first place... You can do so much better. Block him completely, negative people need banished out of your life, they are happy when they make you sad... Get rid.
PRW Posted January 4, 2019 Posted January 4, 2019 I got dumped by my boyfriend. It was messy and he said and did mean things. He blocked me on Facebook and said I couldn’t contact him anymore. A couple of months later he unblocks me. Why? It’s maybe silly but I want to understand... He is in a serious relathionship now and has not made contact. Me neither.Most of the time when people block someone, in my opinion, it is childish. I never, and have never, blocked anyone. I don't believe in burning bridges. Even if we never date again there is no reason we can't be civil. So maybe after things calmed down he came to the mature conclusion that there was no "threat" coming from you and that there was no reason to block you.
stillafool Posted January 4, 2019 Posted January 4, 2019 Thanks you guys for making me see thing from a diffrent view. I just feel so stuck. I hope and will try to believe that it was a throwaway line. I never thought about that. One of the things he said was ”you have nothing to offer a man, you will never be in a relathionship that will work” and ”you never mattered”. I think lines like that got stuck im my mind because I maybe have a low self esteem and am afraid of never finding true love, not being good enough, so I want him to take those words back. Maybe thats why I let what he’s thinking affect my view on myself. Yes NC was hard at the start but I feel much better and would never break it. I guess though that it’s not 100 procent NC if you think about it and dwell... I will try to manage without blocking. Just don’t feel strong enough to cut the hope of a ”I didn’t mean what I said”. But I realize that it’s what I have to do in the end if it doesn’’t get better. Who cares if he did mean what he said? You know the truth and your worth. If a guy said that to me he'd be dead as far as I'm concerned and I'd never want him to see me or hear about me again. You will find the love of your life and be blissfully happy. You seem like a very sweet and intelligent girl.
nolanola Posted January 4, 2019 Posted January 4, 2019 Thanks you guys for making me see thing from a diffrent view. I just feel so stuck. I hope and will try to believe that it was a throwaway line. I never thought about that. One of the things he said was ”you have nothing to offer a man, you will never be in a relathionship that will work” and ”you never mattered”. I think lines like that got stuck im my mind because I maybe have a low self esteem and am afraid of never finding true love, not being good enough, so I want him to take those words back. Maybe thats why I let what he’s thinking affect my view on myself. Yes NC was hard at the start but I feel much better and would never break it. I guess though that it’s not 100 procent NC if you think about it and dwell... I will try to manage without blocking. Just don’t feel strong enough to cut the hope of a ”I didn’t mean what I said”. But I realize that it’s what I have to do in the end if it doesn’’t get better. This guy doesn't deserve the dirt on your shoe, let alone to be able to see what you are up to on Facebook. I'm not a fan of vengeful blocking either, but I think you should block him immediately. He doesn't deserve to ever talk to you again. I'm sorry that he hurt you so badly. I know how badly words can sting. He is a small, petty person and I seriously doubt he's changed much. Maybe someday, WAY in the future (like decades) he will understand how he hurt you, but for now I would try to forget he exists. Hugs to you.
Author TiredOfWondering Posted January 4, 2019 Author Posted January 4, 2019 (edited) Thank you all for your kind words and support. It means a lot, really. And yes, you are right. His opinion shouldn’t matter even if he meant the words. I know my worth. I will from now on try to pretend that he does not exist and just forget everything. It feels good thinking about a new start with no negativty and that everything will be fine. And PRW, come to think about it that does make sense. So it’s kind of more for his sake, to not be seen as childish for blocking. And nothing because of regret of how it went down.. Hugs to you guys. Edited January 4, 2019 by TiredOfWondering 1
Danyboy Posted January 4, 2019 Posted January 4, 2019 hard to say but he might want you to contact him first. If he’s a douche he only wants to know if you still want him. If he’s feeling guilty, he wants to end things on a better note (can still be a douche here)
Author TiredOfWondering Posted January 5, 2019 Author Posted January 5, 2019 But why doesn’t he make any contact after a while then? Is he gonna wait forever?
chillii Posted January 6, 2019 Posted January 6, 2019 But why doesn’t he make any contact after a while then? Is he gonna wait forever? He might not even wanna contact you. lt could just be his way of showing you he just wants peace on the situation, even that he's sorry for crap he said and treated you. And yeah ;l agree with others don't take what someone says in anger or at a time like that too much to heart. We all talk shyt at times especially times like that and say stupid things or wish we could unsay something later. And honestly , it all sounds more along those lines really, l'd almost guarantee he didn't mean it and has kicked himself ever since. 1
stillafool Posted January 6, 2019 Posted January 6, 2019 But why doesn’t he make any contact after a while then? Is he gonna wait forever? Stop questioning it and be thankful that he doesn't make contact as it will set you back. Is that why you haven't blocked him hoping he'll eventually make contact and apologize for the things he's said? If so, you aren't moving forward and that is why you need to block him. That is the fastest way to get him off your mind. 1
Normm Posted January 6, 2019 Posted January 6, 2019 Then this gives you chance to block him now! My first thought as well.
manfrombelow2 Posted January 6, 2019 Posted January 6, 2019 It doesn't matter what he does online. It doesn't matter if he blocks or unblocks you because it does not mean anything. The fact that you "noticed" he unblocked you tells me that you're still clingy, needy and desperate and still hanging on a false hope that you and him could still make it back together while, like you said, he "is in a serious relationship now". I know heartbreaks suck. We all been there. My only advice for you is: Stop stalking him on the Internet, forget all about him, and move on. The more you let yourself be obsessed over him, the more you just prolong your suffering and sadness in the long run. I got dumped by my boyfriend. It was messy and he said and did mean things. He blocked me on Facebook and said I couldn’t contact him anymore. A couple of months later he unblocks me. Why? It’s maybe silly but I want to understand... He is in a serious relathionship now and has not made contact. Me neither. 1
manfrombelow2 Posted January 6, 2019 Posted January 6, 2019 Because he does not want anything to with you anymore? Because he's so happy that you are now out of his life? Because you are nothing to him now? Hello? But why doesn’t he make any contact after a while then? Is he gonna wait forever? 1
Author TiredOfWondering Posted January 6, 2019 Author Posted January 6, 2019 Thank you guys. I do think what he said was said in anger and won’t take it to heart. I hope he has kicked himself for that ;-) I decided to block him yesterday and he will stay blocked forever. Not because of anger but to move on. No, I haven’t been stalkning (he has only Facebook and it’s not open) and as I said before, I don’t want to go back to something. We live in the same town and his second cousin is a childhood friend. We also have some other common Facebook friends. So I saw his comment to a pic and knew I was unblocked. Must say, it feels better after blocking. 2
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