LadybugLucy Posted January 3, 2019 Posted January 3, 2019 If you look back to my past posts, you can see that I was involved with a guy (long-distance) whom I caught lying to me. When I started suspecting the lies, I asked if he was seeing someone else. He told me no. I finally blocked him from everything. Then one day, I decided I would never hear from him again, so I unblocked. Low and behold, he reached out. That’s when I decided to be very honest with him and told him I think he’s selfish, manipulative and a liar. He kept apologizing. We have not communicated since then (a month ago). Tonight one of our mutual friends text me to tell me the guy got engaged to the woman he’s been living with for a year and a half. It stung and my heart sank. I KNOW this guy is bad news. I know I wouldnt trust him if he and I got back together and one of us moved closer. Yet, it hurts. He cheated on me with her, lied about it, and it hurts. Has anyone else felt anything like this? Am I just stupid for being hurt? I am mad and angry but I felt a little jealous too (which I didn’t realize I would feel jealous).
Highndry Posted January 3, 2019 Posted January 3, 2019 ...he’s selfish, manipulative and a liar...Has anyone else felt anything like this? Am I just stupid for being hurt? Why, these are the three words I would use to describe my ex-gf, so yes I have felt something like you describe. I can only say it will get much better with time, and you will realize you are much, much better off without such a toxic person in your life. 1
salparadise Posted January 3, 2019 Posted January 3, 2019 Did you meet in person? And if so, how often and how recent? Given that he's been living with and decided to marry someone else, I'd say it's a bit unclear as to who he was cheating on and who he was cheating with. Since you gave him the heave-ho and went NC quite some time ago, plus told him exactly what you thought of him, I'd say it's mostly pride and ego that's bothering you. It would be more so much more satisfying if he were suffering terribly, pledging eternal love, and begging for another chance. We all want to be wanted... and it stings when we are so easily cast aside. Time heals. This one wasn't your guy.
2much4 Posted January 3, 2019 Posted January 3, 2019 It hurts because you're human. Being lied to, used and deceived hurts. It also hurts because you're not completely over him. Once you are, you won't think twice about it. You knew this guy is bad news, but you probably hadn't really grasped the extent of it yet. We all want to think the best of people we love and once loved and it can be hard to realise they're a POS through and through. It's also normal to want to feel special and it can be painful to realise you've been used. Take this as an opportunity to close this chapter of your life once and for all. There are better things for you ahead. 1
stillafool Posted January 3, 2019 Posted January 3, 2019 Mostly everyone has been lied to and cheated on and yes it hurts.
Author LadybugLucy Posted January 3, 2019 Author Posted January 3, 2019 Did you meet in person? And if so, how often and how recent? Given that he's been living with and decided to marry someone else, I'd say it's a bit unclear as to who he was cheating on and who he was cheating with. Since you gave him the heave-ho and went NC quite some time ago, plus told him exactly what you thought of him, I'd say it's mostly pride and ego that's bothering you. It would be more so much more satisfying if he were suffering terribly, pledging eternal love, and begging for another chance. We all want to be wanted... and it stings when we are so easily cast aside. Time heals. This one wasn't your guy. You’re right. He was cheating on her with me. He was meeting up with me. Then he canceled plans at last minute, on two different occasions, to spend the entire weekend with me. I had started feeling guilty about being so blunt with him because he giving me sad stories as to why he lied. I think our may be right - it could be pride and ego that’s bothering me.
Author LadybugLucy Posted January 3, 2019 Author Posted January 3, 2019 It hurts because you're human. Being lied to, used and deceived hurts. It also hurts because you're not completely over him. Once you are, you won't think twice about it. You knew this guy is bad news, but you probably hadn't really grasped the extent of it yet. We all want to think the best of people we love and once loved and it can be hard to realise they're a POS through and through. It's also normal to want to feel special and it can be painful to realise you've been used. Take this as an opportunity to close this chapter of your life once and for all. There are better things for you ahead. Thank you! You’re spot on.
Author LadybugLucy Posted January 3, 2019 Author Posted January 3, 2019 Thank you all for your words. Thinking about it now, it’s saving me future heartache by learning once and for all he isn’t the guy for me. I know he cheated on his first wife. He had shared that with me and told me he would never do anything like that again. I believed him. So when things were becoming different with us, I asked if there was someone else. He assured me there wasn’t. He also assured me the reasons he had to back out on weekends together were his job, and he had a death in the family. I was played. I should have known. I trusted him when I shouldn’t have.
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