nineyearsgone79 Posted January 2, 2019 Posted January 2, 2019 Hello, I recently discovered that my husband enjoys those online sites like chaturbate where you watch live models. I wasn't so much bothered by that.. although I came across thousands of screenshots over the years of models on the site. What I found odd was he has a number of screenshots of men as well masturbating. After I found this on his computer I started to keep an eye on him in the house and secretly found out he's watching men masturbating online.. he's not interacting with them but he's masturbating while watching these men. The men are alone etc. in the videos and are live models but I don't know what to think about this. I recently found out I am pregnant and we have been married 4 years. Any advice?? Please Help.
amaysngrace Posted January 2, 2019 Posted January 2, 2019 Ask him about it. The only way to know what’s going on inside his head is to have him tell you. Congratulations on your pregnancy
See-Me-Feel-Me Posted January 3, 2019 Posted January 3, 2019 I beg to differ with the above people saying he's gay or bi. If he were gay or bi he would surely have a real history of getting physical with men and you'd notice him noticing real guys with sustained interest in their looks and manner. There is a reason why producers of porn show penises unloading but don't center on the actual men's faces. They know seeing spooge flying gets men hot when they see it on video or film. The same guys would never gawk at some dude jerking off in a steam room or a movie theater and would probably call an authority. How's your husband's politics? If he's liberal, it's normal and he's straight. If he's a republican, he's gay (just kidding--somewhat:p). 1
Author nineyearsgone79 Posted January 3, 2019 Author Posted January 3, 2019 (edited) He is liberal. Yeah, I have never seen him checking out guys in person etc. He looks at women online a lot which he now knows I know about. I just thought it was odd he had these screenshots of men too by themselves. He doesn't know that I know though and I'm not really sure now how to bring it up because then he will know I have been keeping an eye on him. Just last night when we were chatting online because I'm out of town visiting family he said he was "reading sports" and I could clearly see he was watching a video of a guy masterbating again.. he had this video playing on his comp for about 2 hours as we chatted. I'm not sure how I feel about this. I tried to play it off like i didn't know. I recently put a camera in because I had not only found thousands of female screenshots on his comp and a few male ones (which ok pics are whatever).. but I found online chats with women in foreign countries. I had confronted him about the chats and he denied them until I showed him the printouts I had of his chats where he told them he was divorced. Our sex life during that time had gone to almost once every 2 weeks.. he was always "tired". This was the first time I used the camera being out of town.. I wanted to make sure there weren't any In real life people coming over. But now I know about this secret side. Should I confront him about this if so how do i do it. Thankfully I haven't seen any real people coming over.. I wanted to make sure he wasn't cheating and I would catch something being pregnant now. P.S. This whole secret side of him is so seriously bizarre. He's a quiet shy guy and It's really been mind boggling discovering all this bit by bit. Edited January 3, 2019 by nineyearsgone79
alphamale Posted January 3, 2019 Posted January 3, 2019 I beg to differ with the above people saying he's gay or bi. If he were gay or bi he would surely have a real history of getting physical with men and you'd notice him noticing real guys with sustained interest in their looks and manner. well S-M-F-M, if I caught you wacking off to videos of random guys wacking off I would think you are gay I dated a woman who married a gay man and didn't know he was gay
See-Me-Feel-Me Posted January 3, 2019 Posted January 3, 2019 He is liberal. Yeah, I have never seen him checking out guys in person etc. He looks at women online a lot which he now knows I know about. I just thought it was odd he had these screenshots of men too by themselves. He doesn't know that I know though and I'm not really sure now how to bring it up because then he will know I have been keeping an eye on him. Just last night when we were chatting online because I'm out of town visiting family he said he was "reading sports" and I could clearly see he was watching a video of a guy masterbating again.. he had this video playing on his comp for about 2 hours as we chatted. I'm not sure how I feel about this. I tried to play it off like i didn't know. I recently put a camera in because I had not only found thousands of female screenshots on his comp and a few male ones (which ok pics are whatever).. but I found online chats with women in foreign countries. I had confronted him about the chats and he denied them until I showed him the printouts I had of his chats where he told them he was divorced. Our sex life during that time had gone to almost once every 2 weeks.. he was always "tired". This was the first time I used the camera being out of town.. I wanted to make sure there weren't any In real life people coming over. But now I know about this secret side. Should I confront him about this if so how do i do it. Thankfully I haven't seen any real people coming over.. I wanted to make sure he wasn't cheating and I would catch something being pregnant now. P.S. This whole secret side of him is so seriously bizarre. He's a quiet shy guy and It's really been mind boggling discovering all this bit by bit. When I was young, back when the Ingins were circling the wagons:p, porn was the province of dirty old men and "adult" book stores. The net has made that obsolete and brought porn to a whole generation in which there is no history and barely any ethics. So, people get caught doing things they never would do if they had to go out and look the part of a creep. If I were writing the rules, number one would be don't spy. Everyone is entitled to a fantasy life. I don't probe my partners' minds or their hard drives. I don't want to know every detail of their private turn ons. Nor do I want anyone putting me on trial for something in my fantasy. It's not fair. That said, your partner's passing on real sex because he's "tired" might be a sign of an unhealthy porn/masturbation obsession. I don't think you should sweat that he looks at male ejaculation among his porn as much as wonder if he's too into porn for the sake of you. PS: I'm "liberal" too.
Author nineyearsgone79 Posted January 3, 2019 Author Posted January 3, 2019 I agree I had never looked at his things until that night when I tried to use his computer and he kept making me get off of it. We have been together a total of 8 years and I never went on it or looked at his stuff once before. Yeah.. I couldn't understand why he wasn't up for sex and if he was on the rare occasion he couldn't get hard unless he jerked on it himself.. then when we'd try to have sex it would go limp. I thought it might be a health problem at the time and he just said he needed to get use to sex again.. which I thought is difficult to do when your not wanting to have sex much in the first place. I felt the need to find out how deep this online chat interest was because he was never truthful how far it went even after I asked him about it. He just said he needed attention and wouldn't get into it. I also found out from his computer he had 2 one night stands before we had met from that same site he was now chatting with girls on.. so this all made me a bit paranoid to say the least. I thought if he's talking to these girls and telling them they are hot and going on daily to talk to them he might be doing more .. hence the camera. I didn't think however I'd stumble on the penis stuff. :/
See-Me-Feel-Me Posted January 3, 2019 Posted January 3, 2019 I agree I had never looked at his things until that night when I tried to use his computer and he kept making me get off of it. We have been together a total of 8 years and I never went on it or looked at his stuff once before. Yeah.. I couldn't understand why he wasn't up for sex and if he was on the rare occasion he couldn't get hard unless he jerked on it himself.. then when we'd try to have sex it would go limp. I thought it might be a health problem at the time and he just said he needed to get use to sex again.. which I thought is difficult to do when your not wanting to have sex much in the first place. I felt the need to find out how deep this online chat interest was because he was never truthful how far it went even after I asked him about it. He just said he needed attention and wouldn't get into it. I also found out from his computer he had 2 one night stands before we had met from that same site he was now chatting with girls on.. so this all made me a bit paranoid to say the least. I thought if he's talking to these girls and telling them they are hot and going on daily to talk to them he might be doing more .. hence the camera. I didn't think however I'd stumble on the penis stuff. :/ Oh, that's definitely a problem. Anthony Weiner? Flirting on-line can be addicting and intoxicating. But it's not to be done while in a committed relationship. Sorry you're finding out that he ain't who you thought.
amaysngrace Posted January 3, 2019 Posted January 3, 2019 I think having sexual fantasies is perfectly normal, as long as they remain as fantasy. 1
Mr. Lucky Posted January 3, 2019 Posted January 3, 2019 I recently put a camera in because I had not only found thousands of female screenshots on his comp and a few male ones (which ok pics are whatever).. but I found online chats with women in foreign countries. I had confronted him about the chats and he denied them until I showed him the printouts I had of his chats where he told them he was divorced. If you're at a point you have to secretly put the house and computer under surveillance, the marriage is officially off the rails. Time to have an open and honest discussion about sexuality, preferences and the future. With a child on the way, much at stake... Mr. Lucky
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