preraph Posted January 5, 2019 Posted January 5, 2019 Find out if he did this following around to his mommy.
purplesoccer34 Posted January 5, 2019 Posted January 5, 2019 (edited) <snip> Any advice? Thank you. As long as he is willing to put in the effort to change his ways, I suppose it could work. You both have different personalities and that will require some adaptability on somebody's part. Especially if he's not used to giving people space. And it also depends on how much effort you are willing to put into working through this with him. I'm the kind of person who loves my personal space as well. I once sort of dated a guy who lived far away from me. When we met for the first time, it was great. Then over the course of 5 months, we texted and talked on the phone almost everyday. The second time I met him in person, he showered me with dozens of flowers and gifts and candy and whatever, and pretty much told me he wanted to marry me, buy a house, have children with me, etc. etc. And I had absolutely zero personal space that whole weekend...he wanted to accompany me every single place I went. I never spoke to him again. All depends on if you think this can be fixed. Edited January 5, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Truncate quote
morrowrd Posted January 5, 2019 Posted January 5, 2019 This man is excited to be with you, and he's enjoying this relationship, probably like alot of men who get the girl they've always wanted. If you like him, please be patient, and try to be gentle discussing your need for space. Not to disrespect that need, but if communicated bluntly, it could be interpreted as rejection. In new relationships, miscommunication is common as the two people learn about each other. If he's in love with you, he will give you your space because he wants to make you happy. So I don't think this is a big complicated problem.
manfrombelow2 Posted January 5, 2019 Posted January 5, 2019 Young inexperienced guys of Loveshack, you're very privilleged to be witnessing first-hand a real testimony from a normal woman who admits how much she suffocates when her guy is a needy, insecure, desperate and feminine man. And I am not surprised if this guy gets dumped one day, when OP finally has had enough of his weakness. Remember: A healthy relationship only belongs to couple in which the guy is always in his center, follows his masculine core by NOT thinking and acting like the woman is his entire world, because sooner or later, this makes the woman feel unsafe, uncomfortable and suffocating until she's had enough and dump him. 2
Mrs._December Posted January 5, 2019 Posted January 5, 2019 We have been sleeping and living together most of the time, but I'm gonna have to tell him we'll need to do that only a few times per week because I am missing just being alone with myself a LOT. Any advice? Thank you. You answered your own question. Time to send your Stage IV Clinger back to the trenches so you can breathe a few days a week. This man is excited to be with you, and he's enjoying this relationship, probably like alot of men who get the girl they've always wanted.Wrong. This behavior is due to an extreme case of insecurity and anxiety. He hovers around you constantly because he's foolishly made you the center of his world. This is a character flaw, and he'll likely always be this way. I'm willing to bet good money the OP is not the first woman he's done this with. We see guys like this on LoveShack all the time. They put their woman up on a pedestal and cater to her constantly, to the point where they have NO backbone left. Then they find out their wife has been cheating and they STILL keep her up on the pedestal, clinging to her skirt like a child and crying like a kid in the school yard because she wont' stop cheating on him. It's actually pitiful to see when they absolutely refuse to respect themselves. And their women stopped respecting them YEARS ago. That's what's happening with you. You're starting to lose respect for him because instead of acting like a man, he's acting like your mother or your nanny. So unattractive. Methinks this relationship is doomed. 2
preraph Posted January 5, 2019 Posted January 5, 2019 This man is excited to be with you, and he's enjoying this relationship, probably like alot of men who get the girl they've always wanted. If you like him, please be patient, and try to be gentle discussing your need for space. Not to disrespect that need, but if communicated bluntly, it could be interpreted as rejection. In new relationships, miscommunication is common as the two people learn about each other. If he's in love with you, he will give you your space because he wants to make you happy. So I don't think this is a big complicated problem. I disagree. Once you let it get started that he can be overly invasive, he will feel he should always have that privilege. Do NOT put up with things in the beginning you would not want to live with long-term. You have to show people how to treat you but having boundaries. 1
Hollywood-Tourist Posted January 5, 2019 Posted January 5, 2019 You sound just like my ex girlfriend. Maybe he means well and I understand where you're coming from but a stern word should hopefully make him realise that you are independent and can function without his meddling. 2
preraph Posted January 5, 2019 Posted January 5, 2019 You answered your own question. Time to send your Stage IV Clinger back to the trenches so you can breathe a few days a week. Wrong. This behavior is due to an extreme case of insecurity and anxiety. He hovers around you constantly because he's foolishly made you the center of his world. This is a character flaw, and he'll likely always be this way. I'm willing to bet good money the OP is not the first woman he's done this with. We see guys like this on LoveShack all the time. They put their woman up on a pedestal and cater to her constantly, to the point where they have NO backbone left. Then they find out their wife has been cheating and they STILL keep her up on the pedestal, clinging to her skirt like a child and crying like a kid in the school yard because she wont' stop cheating on him. It's actually pitiful to see when they absolutely refuse to respect themselves. And their women stopped respecting them YEARS ago. That's what's happening with you. You're starting to lose respect for him because instead of acting like a man, he's acting like your mother or your nanny. So unattractive. Methinks this relationship is doomed. I agree with this. Plus his behavior is more similar to a child following their mother around than any man/woman relationship. It's not right. 1
manfrombelow2 Posted January 5, 2019 Posted January 5, 2019 Second this. Come on guys, if you do not respect yourselves, nobody will. It's just 1+1=2 logic here. Wrong. This behavior is due to an extreme case of insecurity and anxiety. He hovers around you constantly because he's foolishly made you the center of his world. This is a character flaw, and he'll likely always be this way. I'm willing to bet good money the OP is not the first woman he's done this with. We see guys like this on LoveShack all the time. They put their woman up on a pedestal and cater to her constantly, to the point where they have NO backbone left. Then they find out their wife has been cheating and they STILL keep her up on the pedestal, clinging to her skirt like a child and crying like a kid in the school yard because she wont' stop cheating on him. It's actually pitiful to see when they absolutely refuse to respect themselves. And their women stopped respecting them YEARS ago. That's what's happening with you. You're starting to lose respect for him because instead of acting like a man, he's acting like your mother or your nanny. So unattractive. Methinks this relationship is doomed. 1
Highndry Posted January 5, 2019 Posted January 5, 2019 Well he said he understands and that he agrees that we need to solve this and get to a place where we both feel comfortable. On the same day he said that, he also decided to go and rent a house on his own, after we have been talking about moving in together for many weeks. Feeling a bit stupid here now. Problem solved. 1
preraph Posted January 5, 2019 Posted January 5, 2019 That's good though. Because you are not at all certain about this guy. You sure didn't need to be living together. You tried it and discovered he is over the top intrusive and clingy. So him getting his own place is perfect. No reason for you to feel funny. He's probably doing this because he's sulking, but it's for the best. I have to ask -- how much are you two home at the same time? Are both of you working? Maybe what he needs is a second job to burn off some of that energy.
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