Yong_wolf Posted January 2, 2019 Posted January 2, 2019 Hi , had a relationship for 6 years and it's been 3 months since my ex broke up with me. i think after the 1st year of our relationship her parents told her to end it because they dont approve it yet they didn't give a clear reason to why they dont like the affair. but we continued to keep the relationship anyways since they didn't give us a reason and we thought eventually they will like us after we both get good education and a steady future. it was a long distance one and sometime we stayed for 6,7 months without getting a chance to meet still we were happy. i really felt a huge connection towards her and she was my best friend and the one i really get opened up to but during the last year of our relationship i didn't feel the attraction towards her and i kinda started ignoring her. i got bored most of the time we chatted .i think i lost the value i had towards her i think it was because i was so sure about the relationship that i will never loose her. she really loved me and cared about me a lot . and during this 6 years her parents caught her texting to me and she got blamed a lot but she held on to me. but may be due to my actions and her attraction towards me got less day by day. i didn't feel it at that time but after breaking up i felt that she was trying to get away from me for sometime. i don't know if she tried to give the relationship a chance or try to find a way to get her attraction back but she never told me something like that directly .. at the last month of our relationship she told me that she don't have any feelings for me and i deserve better. i was shocked. and during that time she said her parents found out about the relationship and blamed her a lot and told her to end it at that moment. and told her to block me. she told me this needs to end that she has no other choise and that her parents are furiously angry at her since she hid the affair from them. i tried to give her solutions but she just wanted out from the relationship. even she didn't know the reason for her parent's disapproval she didn't actually care about it. she said her parents know abut her better than anyone and it's best to listen to them since they know what's best for her. after she blocked me i texted her and called her from different numbers and she was cold and mad at me and told me to say away. i even found out that she is frequently chatting with a guy she recently found and she told her friends that he is only a friend and she has no feelings towards that guy. i went no contact and after sometime she started asking my friends about me and she told them if it wasn't for her parents she would still be with me. and breaking up was really hard for her and she did this for me and her parents. that i deserve better than a secret affair. she kept asking abut me from my friends and one day she told one of my friends that she will makeup her mind somehow and move on. after that she stopped asking about me. this whole time i stayed in no contact. but she never reached out to me. after that i checked on her (i didn't text her i checked at what time she comes online and is she still chatting with that other guy) i saw both of them staying online in whats app and calling in mid night . i asked one of her friends abut her having an affair with anyone but her friend said no and that my ex and that guy are only friends. may be she's lying. i dont know if she is having an affair with someone else. i was hoping she would comeback after sometime. till then i'm taking care of my self and accepting my faults and becoming better. will she reach out ?
elaine567 Posted January 2, 2019 Posted January 2, 2019 In a word no. Why would she? You got bored, you ignored her, you took her for granted, she lost her attraction for you. Add in her parents disapproval and she eventually broke up with you.
elaine567 Posted January 2, 2019 Posted January 2, 2019 that's harsh Sorry. But what part of that is not true? You need to grieve heal and move on for your own sanity. Next time find a girl closer to home, whose parents adore you and are proud to have you part of their daughter's life. Family is very important, especially to young women. Going against her family's wishes was unlikely ever to happen. Also romantic love is not everlasting and unconditional like parental love can be, it is conditional.
Author Yong_wolf Posted January 2, 2019 Author Posted January 2, 2019 In a word no. Why would she? You got bored, you ignored her, you took her for granted, she lost her attraction for you. Add in her parents disapproval and she eventually broke up with you. I can understand your view towards the matter. reading it again i found that clearly i mentioned only the fault of mine . i dont want to say about her faults and all the great things i did for her. because clearly during the stages that the dumpee goes through i forgot all the bad things she did. but i forgot to mention after her parents found out and just before we broke up we talked abut our faults and forgave ourselves. after breakup when she was talking to my friends she told one of them that she loves me a lot and that she would never forget me. and if it wasn't for her parents she would still be with me. and that the breakup is really hard and that it hurts like hell for her.. she pretty much went through the same rough times as i went and i still am going through it. .. i dont know by time will she move on without considering again?
Author Yong_wolf Posted January 2, 2019 Author Posted January 2, 2019 Sorry. But what part of that is not true? You need to grieve heal and move on for your own sanity. Next time find a girl closer to home, whose parents adore you and are proud to have you part of their daughter's life. Family is very important, especially to young women. Going against her family's wishes was unlikely ever to happen. Also romantic love is not everlasting and unconditional like parental love can be, it is conditional. she was closer but her family moved on to another city after sometime for their personal reasons. plus she had lot of issues with her family and at one time after breakup she said to one of my friends that her parents were really angry at her . and she was forced to stop the affair otherwise she would get depression just by the scoldings her parents gave her. and all that for no reason . she asked for a reason from them to stop the affair. but they wont give one. they just said it is for the better for both of us. i mean if her parents at least gave a gd reason they least i could understand and better myself if it was my fault i can accept it and get better. but they just didnt give a reason. what i feel is at that time with all the pressure she had , she had nothing to do but to leave me and obey her parents. and i accept that too becus we will never get their approval if we dont listen to them. now as we stopped the affair they know that we respect them. and if we both build ourselves a gd future they might reconsider again by time she might understand all of this or already has.
elaine567 Posted January 2, 2019 Posted January 2, 2019 if it wasn't for her parents she would still be with me. ? Her parents are not on board, so all else is immaterial. Break ups are always hard, but does that mean she wants you back? Probably not to be frank. Dumpers tend to think long and hard before pulling the plug. Once a decision is made and they actively choose breaking up, it is often far too late to consider anything else as being a viable option.
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