hassanechi Posted January 2, 2019 Posted January 2, 2019 Hey everyone, so I have been dealing with my break up lately which was a couple of weeks ago and I have been going through these forums which have really helped me get over. So long story short, I broke up from a 5 year long relationship, 6 including last one but it was mostly on and off with both of us trying to sort things out. We loved each other dearly but my ex wasn't really happy since the past year and she said that I am too possessive and overly protective which suffocates her. Also she told me she cant handle my mood swings, which I go through and its hard to control. So she decided to break up 3 weeks ago, I spent the first week begging and pleading but after reading threads in this forum I decided to go for NCR. I successfully went through 2 weeks of no contact rule but yesterday I saw my ex at a New Years eve party. I was surprised to see her there and she realized very early too about my presence over there. The thing is, I don't get her reaction. She came and danced besides me pretty close a couple of times and it was really obvious that she wants me to notice her and maybe start a conversation. I decided to just stay silent and I kept dancing at my spot. This happened 2-3 times until both of us came to an unavoidable eye contact in the washroom. As this happened she came close to me and hugged me and both of us asked each other how were we doing. It was this short and then I decided to go my own way. I don't really get what is going on in her mind because when breaking up she was very clear that she wants it even though I was begging her to give me one chance. But yesterday, it was really awkward for me because she wanted me to feel her presence and start a conversation with her. At one point she intentionally stopped her friends too besides me so they could dance close to where I was. Anyone went through something like this before? Should I continue no contact or should I message her and try to patch things up? I would really take her back if I have an option because she really is my first true love and its really painful to see it go away like this. Thank you!
Giraffe-A Posted January 2, 2019 Posted January 2, 2019 She gave you reasons why she broke up with you. It seems like the past 2 weeks you actually left her alone, she felt a weight off her shoulders. Seeing yoy may have brought up the reasons she liked you and may want to come back. The thing is, have you actually had time to think about your possesiveness and mood swings? If not, then you are bound to repeat the same pattern and she will break up with you again. If you want to give this a real shot being that you love her, have that convo with her. Tell her you thought about what she said and you want time to work on it. She’ll at least know you’re trying.
Author hassanechi Posted January 2, 2019 Author Posted January 2, 2019 In your opinion, should I complete the 30 day mark which was my target or I could still approach her? When she broke off things she told me we should take a year apart with no interaction and maybe then we could be friends but I feel that is a little too long and she came up with that number in heat of the moment.
BC1980 Posted January 2, 2019 Posted January 2, 2019 In your opinion, should I complete the 30 day mark which was my target or I could still approach her? When she broke off things she told me we should take a year apart with no interaction and maybe then we could be friends but I feel that is a little too long and she came up with that number in heat of the moment. Don't contact her. You had a chance meeting at a party, and it's always awkward around an ex you just broke up with. There's nothing to take from her actions at a party other than it's hard to figure out how to act around an ex. She basically told you not to speak with her for a year. That's a clear sign that it's over.
d0nnivain Posted January 2, 2019 Posted January 2, 2019 If she wanted to reconcile, she would have spoken up at the party. Instead she made a childish play for your attention in that moment which you properly ignored. She was playing games, wanting you to stroke her ego. She misses you chasing after her like some lovesick puppy. If you reach out to her, she will blow you off. You are better off staying away. Her request that you stay away for a year & then decide to try friendship is actually too short. the emotions will still be fresh. Plus through all of this you want her back. Thus you are grasping at straws.
Author hassanechi Posted January 2, 2019 Author Posted January 2, 2019 If she wanted to reconcile, she would have spoken up at the party. Instead she made a childish play for your attention in that moment which you properly ignored. She was playing games, wanting you to stroke her ego. She misses you chasing after her like some lovesick puppy. If you reach out to her, she will blow you off. You are better off staying away. Her request that you stay away for a year & then decide to try friendship is actually too short. the emotions will still be fresh. Plus through all of this you want her back. Thus you are grasping at straws. Don't get me wrong but I feel that she's not looking for attention because she's pretty and I saw many guys myself coming up to her and trying to dance who she rejected. Also, there was plenty of space to dance at other places in the club but she still chose to come and dance besides me that's what I don't get. She gave me this one year off thing like a year ago too right before we started trying to sort things out, so I don't really know if she meant it for real in heat of the moment because that was already broken last year when we decided to give it a try. I would still like to take my last chance and send her a hand written letter at the 30 day mark which I have prepared. It's not about patching up but it's just like an acceptance kind of a letter and to apologize about whatever had pushed me away from her. What do you guys think? Thanks!
Author hassanechi Posted January 4, 2019 Author Posted January 4, 2019 UPDATE: Ex unblocked me on facebook just today. I am really confused about what I should do, any opinions?
Recommended Posts