i had sex with my ex last night

[Confuesedguy]

i dont know what to do. im so confuesed and lost like this is what happend.

 

so she was texting me mixed messages all yesterday morning wanting me to come over and spend new years with her and our baby. telling me she wants me over then cancelling and telling me she didnt think it would be a good idea if i came over. then she questioned if the reason i couldnt come over earlier is because i was taking another woman on a date.

 

i texted her some copy and past stuff from a get your ex back web site.

 

then i went over there around 6 we drank in the kitchen and talked about random stuff. there was no relationship talk what so ever.

 

i didnt know what to say or how to bring it up, so i just tried to stay confident.

 

her mom came and picked us up and we went and drank in her dads garage. and i talked to her dad when she went inside for a bit, about me and my exes situations.he said i dont know or understand what the hell shes doing. he said he respects me more than anything and when he tried to talk about the relationship to her she would get angry and avoid that topic.

 

so we went to the local pub a block away from her parents house and drank there. when it was new years she kissed me and then after the pub we went back to her parents house amd got picked up and went back to the house.

 

she told me to get comfy and i took off my pants and we went in the room and started having sex. the next morning we cuddled and rubbed eachother.

 

i dono it was wierd its like we were together but we werent together. and of course im too much of a coward to confront her on this and ask wtf is going on.

 

so i kissed my baby good bye and then i gave her a kiss good by on the lips. and then came back to my moms.

 

 

so now i dont know where to go from here.im left in limbo land fml

[d0nnivain]

You two have a long history & you share a child. Plus it's the holidays -- a sentimental time & a time for family. Now you added alcohol to that mix. IT was easy & familiar to fall into bed with you. The sex was kind of meaningless from a reconciliation point because it addresses nothing.

 

Do you know why you broke up? Have whatever issues that broke you up been fixed or can they be fixed? Do you want to fix them?

 

If you want to reconcile, send her a text that says you enjoyed last night. See what she says.

 

Tomorrow reach out & arrange a meeting. Talk about your issues, the break up & the wisdom of reconciling.

[BC1980]

This isn't a sign she wants you back if that's what you are asking. She just got lonely on New Year's Eve. You have a child together, so you have to talk. But you need to start setting boundaries with your contact.

[helloladies21]

I know you can't do anything to stop yourself at this point, but you are setting yourself up to get emotionally slapped. She runs the show right now and you are her pawn. To bottom line it for you: she doesn't respect you. She doesn't fear losing you. She doesn't value you enough to do what it takes to keep you. You might see mixed signals, but what I see is very clear. There will be some back and forth between you two until she tires of you and finds someone else. This scenario has played out countless times.

 

All of this could be avoided if you had the strength to confront her on this and demand an answer on what her intentions are. Maybe she would stay, maybe she would leave, but it's the only chance you have of moving forward one way or the other.

[ExpatInItaly]

This is the same woman who's broken up with you twice before? And treated you so coldly afterwards?

 

I would be very cautious and not get your hopes up that this means reconciliation is going to happen. A lot of people don't want to be alone over the holidays and New Year's Eve, so there is the risk she is one of those people and sought you out for some attention and affection.

 

You two need to talk. In a neutral location, not at her parent's place, not at yours. Because there is a child involved, you have to come to some sort of understanding about your future together (or lack thereof) and put your cards on the table. If she is vague or washy, let her know you're going to be hiring a lawyer to help you create a custody/visitation agreement. It's time to start thinking of this as a true separation and acting accordingly. No more sleepovers.