Nlpp Posted January 1, 2019 Posted January 1, 2019 Hi everyone, Im a 34 year old woman. I just got out of a 8 year old relationship (that was already not a relationship on the last 24 month). I work and have a stable life. Anyway, i met a guy last year. He has always show some interest in me and we have been together sometimes during these hobby reunions. Always very nice to me and we talk/text every day. We have had two dinners (we dont live in the same city) which ended in some kissing but i refused to take it to the next stage. I really like him, like how he make me feel and all the atention. At the same time, i know that at this point he dont want anything serious. Next week i will be with him and the question is: if a opportunity arises and i feel like should i sleep with him? I ask this, because while everyone tells me that we should enjoy like, ive had only 2 sex partners. Also, and this is a big question, he is 18 year old older than me! Is this too much? TIA
d0nnivain Posted January 1, 2019 Posted January 1, 2019 At 18 yes, it's too much. At 34 for dating, no it's not a problem. Before you get too serious do consider the long term ramifications & whether you want to possibly become a caregiver. When you are 50 he'll be 68. . . well into Social Security. 1
SameMistake Posted January 1, 2019 Posted January 1, 2019 You're 34, not 18. Sleeping with a man 18 years older than you isn't "too much". What do you want from sex? If you want closeness, intimacy, love, then I'd wait. If you want a physical connection, then go for it. Use condoms, and remember you can get STD's and STI's from oral sex.
Insoc Posted January 1, 2019 Posted January 1, 2019 The rule of thumb is half of your age + 7, but that's just something for socially acceptable but I think it's grab and take on reality. So I'm 50, I could date a 32 year old and it would be socially acceptable. Would I? Likely not, I prefer around my age maybe younger 40's. I would entertain the prospect, but I'm leery on it lasting. It depends on you and him, if you are both compatible and can look past it, age is just a number for many, a lot of Men and Woman are younger in looks and spirit, I mean I look younger than 50 and act it, everyone tells me that. Oldest I went on a date so far with was 58, she looked 40ish, I wouldnt' go past 60 unless she looked like Vanna White lol. Youngest was 48, I have been talking to a 40 year old too. My Ex is dating a 35 year old, she is 51. It's all personal, to be honest and if you both feel it will last. I would take it slow and make sure he just doesn't want Sex and not you as you are on a whole, a lot of Men just want Sex and a younger woman is like a trophy, to me I'm not into that, Sex is good but it's not something that will make it turn into a LTR if that's all he wants.
BettyDraper Posted January 1, 2019 Posted January 1, 2019 Sleep with this man only if you also do not want anything serious. You are not obligated to sleep with anyone just because you have been on a certain amount of dates.
smackie9 Posted January 1, 2019 Posted January 1, 2019 What are you worried about? If you are interested in having sex than have it. If it turns into something nice then good, if nothing come of it, oh well. Having sex is not a bad thing between two consenting horny adults regardless of age. There are no rules, so if you would like to then go for it. remember sex is not a currency for a relationship. Sex is just sex. No one is being used here if you both want to enjoy it.
Giraffe-A Posted January 1, 2019 Posted January 1, 2019 If you’re not looking for anything serious and just want to get your feet wet, then this would probably be the guy for you. At his age, you should be able to tell him that you are not looking for anything serious. He should be mature to understand. He is also at the right age to be a good sex partner and also give you emotional support. It’s easy to fall in love with older men though. It doesn’t seem to be too old for couples that I know who have this much of an age gap.
smackie9 Posted January 1, 2019 Posted January 1, 2019 Nothing wrong with having a "gentleman friend" for some companionship. Let it last for a year or so, then move on...always keep your options open. 1
Insoc Posted January 1, 2019 Posted January 1, 2019 Nothing wrong with having a "gentleman friend" for some companionship. Let it last for a year or so, then move on...always keep your options open. It all depends on what someone wants now doesn't it? I talk to women who say they don't "sleep around" or want to be labeled "loose", so it all comes down to standards. Personally some woman want it all, some just want sex, a Man is often hard to read when it comes to this because many just want Sex and that's it, for some reason I'm not wired that way, I need to be emotionally attached, but I'm old school lol, but I am coming out of a LTR/Marriage so maybe I'm jaded? I had a couple younger females on match call me a "DILF", I had to look it up, lol.
smackie9 Posted January 1, 2019 Posted January 1, 2019 I'm giving my advice to the OP, based on what she has posted...giving her the freedom to choose without feeling she has to be obligated to a stigma of being labelled. She's an adult and can have any type of relationship she so chooses. Plus relationships can start out as purely physical/casual and morph into something different from what was started. That there is nothing wrong with that.
smackie9 Posted January 1, 2019 Posted January 1, 2019 OP I think after being in an 8 year relationship it's time to have some adult fun. Have at'r 1
Insoc Posted January 1, 2019 Posted January 1, 2019 I'm giving my advice to the OP, based on what she has posted...giving her the freedom to choose without feeling she has to be obligated to a stigma of being labelled. She's an adult and can have any type of relationship she so chooses. Plus relationships can start out as purely physical/casual and morph into something different from what was started. That there is nothing wrong with that. So should I go out and sow my wild oats too? Just have sex? I was told that by a few dates, that after being in a LTR/Marriage, why not lol. I thought about it.
See-Me-Feel-Me Posted January 1, 2019 Posted January 1, 2019 If he is any kind of mature man, he will be able to deal with your relative youth and the possibility or even likelihood that you aren't sure what you want and may move on. (I have been that guy and land on my feet). But if he seems like a clutching neurotic who will want to own you, don't get involved.
stillafool Posted January 1, 2019 Posted January 1, 2019 No it's not too old. There are quite a lot of mid to late 30's people dating people in their 50s.
elaine567 Posted January 1, 2019 Posted January 1, 2019 You are already aware he doesn't want anything serious, so just be prepared for one of the worst case scenarios for you, the hump and dump... If you are looking for love and affection then maybe better to pass, but if sex is all you want then he may be your man. The age thing is not really relevant, if this is just a fling, but if you are looking for a husband and father for your (potential) children I think he is too old. 1
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