dragonwalker Posted January 1, 2019 Posted January 1, 2019 I wanted to get some advice on my dating profile currently on okcupid and perhaps some ideas on other sites I should use since I've only ever used this one. I'm 30, male, average looking, 5'7",average job, went to college, live in the suburbs of Los Angeles, working toward CPA. Not successful with women. Outwardly pretty normal but definitely tend to be more introverted. I have gotten a few likes from women but when I read their profiles I have no idea why we would get along. I've recently changed my profile a bit and added a professional picture I had taken of me. It's basically a headshot with me smiling in a semi-casual button down. I have several other pictures in as a flattering a light as I can in various stances. I am looking for a women for a long term relationship. Yet it's a challenge for me to even find any. I do not believe my physical standards are too particular. I prefer at least college educated. Please ask me about any particular details you all wanted to know. My goal with this was to provide enough detail about myself to give a generalized picture of who I am without going into details and being cliché. I do think there are some elements of humor that my bio could benefit from. You be the judge. ---------------------------------------------------- My self-summary: I aspire to be a positive person in my life and I am looking for someone to share that mindset. It’s important that we find each other not only because our intuition says we might be fun together but also an understanding that being a good fit is realizing that we strive to live not because life is easy but because it is hard. With that said, I do work well in groups and like completing tasks collectively. I am an introvert at heart but don’t mistaken me for being shy or quiet. My own curiosity is a driving force behind my likelihood to be social with others as well as to be able to sit for hours on end reading an interesting article. My interests tend be more intellectual. I’m a fan of board games which are fun and social. I consider myself a student of history and yes those hours I mentioned reading can be spent on it. I try to do something active daily but I’m not an outdoor adventurer. I enjoy living modestly and I appreciate the company of people who don’t need to live life in the fast lane or have some urgency to possess the entirety of the material world around them. Now have a great day! ------------------- What I am doing with my life: I work in financial services and I am taking courses toward my CPA. ------------------- I want to be better at: Getting in touch with my creative side and being more social. ------------------- The first things friends and coworkers notice about me: Friends and coworkers have often told me that I put them at ease because I'm a comfortable person to share company. Rumor has it that I am often reflective and thoughtful. ------------------- Favorite books,movies,etc: I love to be entertained by activities that encourage me to use my imagination and I am a kid at heart. For instance I enjoy building models that give me a chance to think about the background of what I am building. My reading habits are selective. I like to read things with some basis in reality because those are the stories that keep me interested. Yet I love science fiction because of the possibilities it presents for the future because like myself my focus is what is up ahead. -------------------- I value:A smart woman. Who finds a way to laugh at my jokes, funny or not. Also because behind every great guy is a greater woman! -------------------- I should spend less time: On the computer --------------------- On a typical Friday night: Either out with some freinds or at home with games, making something, or browsing the web. ---------------------- The most private thing I will admit: I see people in the dark ---------------------- You should message me: If I have made an impression on you
chillii Posted January 1, 2019 Posted January 1, 2019 l'm no expert or even in your country so l've got no idea what works there. But l was on a date site for a short stint here and did quite well so just going on that my 2 cents would be that it's way too long. Mine was only about 5 lines and l didn't even put a picture up for the general public. l did have a couple home snaps but only on private so only someone that asked or that l contacted could see them and she had to click a button to see them, l only wanted someone interested enough to bother checking me out. Anyway , it all worked out quite nicely and if it was me l'd def' shorten it right down.
Cersei Posted January 1, 2019 Posted January 1, 2019 Yes way too long. To be honest I got very bored reading it. But that may perhaps be because we have absolutely nothing in common,
Garcon1986 Posted January 1, 2019 Posted January 1, 2019 And remember that OKCupid did its own study, that says users there are encouraged to be superficial much more so than on other websites. So you should place the most physically attractive photos of yourself on there first. Here's some recommendations for your biography: _______________________________________ I want to be with someone who has a positive attitude and a drive for discovery. I want to have a partner in all life's challenges and share jokes along the way - even if we fall in the mud together, we can make each other look like Mr Potato Head. With that said, I do work well in groups and like completing tasks collectively. I am an introvert at heart but don’t mistaken me for being shy or quiet. I always want to discover something new. I love exercising my mind, myself, and wandering into different periods of time with my imagination. I enjoy living modestly and I appreciate the company of people who don’t need to live life in the fast lane or have some urgency to possess the entirety of the material world around them. Now have a great day! ------------------- What I am doing with my life: I throw numbers around for a living, and bat a few numbers out of the park. ------------------- I want to be better at: Getting in touch with my creative side and becoming a more extroverted introvert. ------------------- The first things friends and coworkers notice about me: I put them at ease because I'm a comfortable person to share company with. Rumor has it that I am often reflective and thoughtful. ------------------- Favorite books,movies,etc: If there's something that trains my mind and exercises my imagination, I'm the first one there. Documentaries and non-fiction are the bees knees.Yet I love science fiction because of how cool it is to test the bounds of feline, I mean human, imagination. -------------------- I value: A woman who isn't shy about showing how smart she is. A healthy exchange of dry jokes is most welcome. Also because behind every great guy is a greater woman! -------------------- I should spend less time: On the computer --------------------- On a typical Friday night: Either out with some friends or at home with games, making something, or browsing the web. ---------------------- The most private thing I will admit: I have owl style night vision. ---------------------- You should message me: If I have made an impression on you Share | 1
Rockett Posted January 1, 2019 Posted January 1, 2019 I like Garcon's suggestions. See how he's changed your profile narrative so that it sounds like you're showing who you are (smart and grounded), rather than the first version, where you describe yourself in more clinical terms. The goal is to capture the reader's imagination- reading it, what would a woman imagine spending time with you would be like? Of course you want to tell her about yourself, but make sure to show who you are as a person as well. 1
Garcon1986 Posted January 1, 2019 Posted January 1, 2019 Imagine you are blessed as a very beautiful woman who has hundreds of profile messages each 24 hours. Or - as a rich investor who always has startup CEOs at your door wanting money, all promising a return on your investment. Your attention is going to be very divided and, each person will really need to make a strong impression on you. The dating life is really unfair for those of us that have medium good looks, but we have to learn how to play the game. Bottom line - 0. Sell yourself on your strong points. Don't bother competing on muscle against Arnold Schwarzenegger. 1. Never beg a woman for her attention. 2. Place your sexiest photos online, and ask for advice on which are sexy. 3. Ask people out in real life too, and pay attention to those who are interested in you. 4. If a woman rejects you, rinse and repeat, don't pay any more attention to her, don't show any emotional attachment. 5. Go out and have fun - you might have a windfall of friends, who may eventually refer you to more singles.
Author dragonwalker Posted January 1, 2019 Author Posted January 1, 2019 (edited) And remember that OKCupid did its own study, that says users there are encouraged to be superficial much more so than on other websites. So you should place the most physically attractive photos of yourself on there first. Here's some recommendations for your biography: _______________________________________ I want to be with someone who has a positive attitude and a drive for discovery. I want to have a partner in all life's challenges and share jokes along the way - even if we fall in the mud together, we can make each other look like Mr Potato Head. With that said, I do work well in groups and like completing tasks collectively. I am an introvert at heart but don’t mistaken me for being shy or quiet. I always want to discover something new. I love exercising my mind, myself, and wandering into different periods of time with my imagination. I enjoy living modestly and I appreciate the company of people who don’t need to live life in the fast lane or have some urgency to possess the entirety of the material world around them. Now have a great day! ------------------- What I am doing with my life: I throw numbers around for a living, and bat a few numbers out of the park. ------------------- I want to be better at: Getting in touch with my creative side and becoming a more extroverted introvert. ------------------- The first things friends and coworkers notice about me: I put them at ease because I'm a comfortable person to share company with. Rumor has it that I am often reflective and thoughtful. ------------------- Favorite books,movies,etc: If there's something that trains my mind and exercises my imagination, I'm the first one there. Documentaries and non-fiction are the bees knees.Yet I love science fiction because of how cool it is to test the bounds of feline, I mean human, imagination. -------------------- I value: A woman who isn't shy about showing how smart she is. A healthy exchange of dry jokes is most welcome. Also because behind every great guy is a greater woman! -------------------- I should spend less time: On the computer --------------------- On a typical Friday night: Either out with some friends or at home with games, making something, or browsing the web. ---------------------- The most private thing I will admit: I have owl style night vision. ---------------------- You should message me: If I have made an impression on you Share | Wow Garcon, it's quite different. When I first read it I thought it was very simple but then I realized that is what I wanted it to be. I know that I am truthfully more like what I typed but your changes really brought some color and flavor to the menu. Its now less serious and dry but still retains the essence of the meaning. I'm going to incorporate/copy those changes. Also, do any of you have some recommendations on some other dating sites I should consider? Edited January 1, 2019 by dragonwalker
Garcon1986 Posted January 1, 2019 Posted January 1, 2019 Just get on as many dating sites as you have time to use (or afford). It's a numbers game where women get to choose up front. But remember eventually, you get to choose on the back end, and if you do it well enough, women will be wondering if you choose them. It's a numbers game. Stay as attractive as you possibly can be. Try match.com, Tinder, OKCupid, Eharmony, Hinge. I am registered to ten dating sites because I am in the Bible belt, where people don't generally seek out Asian men.
Giraffe-A Posted January 1, 2019 Posted January 1, 2019 So, I would not answer this ad for a couple of reasons. Girls get discouraged by seeing stuff like, “intellectual” and not being outdoorsie. It’s synonymous with dull and boring. Women of intellect are adventurers. They seek experiences and wonder. You will not find many of them online, and most will not respond to this ad. And college doesn’t necessarily equal intellect so don’t narrow your chances. . Some of the men up in the comments suggested going for the superficial and that is actually a good approach as you will soon find that you will not be reveiving as much attention. Pictures speak first, then the bio.
Gretchen12 Posted January 1, 2019 Posted January 1, 2019 I tried OKcupid. I didn't read much of those writings, I just looked at the photos. If I could see your photo, I can maybe make some suggestions. A lot of times men post what impresses other men, not women. I had no issues with your self-summary, except you're not in school, you don't need to write an essay. Don't philosophize. Let the woman draw her own conclusions. If it's too long, people won't read it. This length I can handle: ------- I'm a positive man, looking for the same in a woman. I'm introvert at heart, but don’t mistaken me for being shy or quiet! I can be social as well as sit for hours on end reading an interesting article. My interests tend be more intellectual - history, board games, reading. I try to do something active daily but I’m not an outdoor adventurer. I enjoy living modestly and appreciate people who don’t need to live life in the fast lane or possess the entirety of the material world. --------- Next you need to put in something more about the girl. How does she fit into your life? So you're reading, playing board games, making things and on the computer. What about her? Where's the romance? LA suburbs can be hard for young singles. If you're willing to drive, go ahead and mention the spots you go to for fun. And what do you mean you see people in the dark?! I actually think men in LA do better meeting women in person. OLD can be good if you're looking for something particular.
Insoc Posted January 1, 2019 Posted January 1, 2019 I'm on Match, I tried a few of the others but stuck with Match for now. #1 thing I think is having the best profile pic that will attract someone, it has to look good and a nice smile. That will get them into your profile (if attracted?). The summary, well some say too short is empty and too long boring, it's a tough one to crack because people want to see what you like to do and what they can possibly have in common with you. I think its' good to keep it short and save that for the 1st date, maybe just mention a few keywords of interests. Also be prepared for lot's of Catfish, they are on all the sites, also you will get some profiles that have pictures with the e-mail account on them, these are scammers. Take note to people who use old pics, I had this happen, I date my photos when taken. It's easy for people to use photos that are 5 to 10 years old, at your age group you should be fine though but still keep it in mind.
smackie9 Posted January 1, 2019 Posted January 1, 2019 The best thing to do is always change up the profile and photos on a regular basis. That's when you can catch someone's eye that missed you the last time. Women are like snowflakes, not one is the same. Women think and choose with their emotions so keep that in mind.
Insoc Posted January 1, 2019 Posted January 1, 2019 The best thing to do is always change up the profile and photos on a regular basis. That's when you can catch someone's eye that missed you the last time. Women are like snowflakes, not one is the same. Women think and choose with their emotions so keep that in mind. Good point, I do that all the time. Update and rotate my primary photo.
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