Carlotte Posted December 31, 2018 Posted December 31, 2018 Hello All! A week ago I met a guy online. On a date it looked like he does not know how to behave. He was very stressed (blushing, shaking hands, dilated pupils). I did not have much time and left after one hour. He wrote me immidately afterwards and said he is sorry the meeting wasn't that great and the next one will be better. He sais he didn't expect I look so much better on pictures. After few days he wrote he cannot stop thinking about me and if he could he would like to see me every day even for a moment. I said we need to get to know each other. He is not calling/writing me constantly. However, we exchange few messages every day. Should I be alarmed by what he said? May he be someone who is obsessing over girls? Or maybe he's a player and tried to manipulate me? Is it possible he is just normal guy who decided to be honest with me? On the date I could tell he likes me but he did not seem pushy at all, also no flirting, touching, etc. Share with me your thoughts please!
I'veseenbetterlol Posted December 31, 2018 Posted December 31, 2018 Big red flag. He sounds obsessive and maybe abuses substances as well. I wouldn't go out again.
d0nnivain Posted December 31, 2018 Posted December 31, 2018 He is certainly not a player. Messaging daily would annoy me to no end & I'd feel smothered. Since you like it, carry on. I think he's just an inexperienced love sick boy (age notwithstanding)
Garcon1986 Posted December 31, 2018 Posted December 31, 2018 That was me at 20. I would give him a chance to get more comfortable with you while setting healthy boundaries. It's the thrill of attraction coupled with the performance pressure of wanting to impress you that's causing him to be nervous.
Author Carlotte Posted December 31, 2018 Author Posted December 31, 2018 That was me at 20. I would give him a chance to get more comfortable with you while setting healthy boundaries. It's the thrill of attraction coupled with the performance pressure of wanting to impress you that's causing him to be nervous. For your reference he's 27. He seems to be a shy type of guy so maybe he is not experienced. However, this confession made me uneasy.
d0nnivain Posted December 31, 2018 Posted December 31, 2018 Because you are uneasy, if you have good instincts about these types of things, jettison him. If you are simply equivocating while dissecting the poor guy's words, having seen his fumbling in person, give the guy a chance
preraph Posted December 31, 2018 Posted December 31, 2018 He just sounds very inexperienced and scared and may have social anxiety problems, and yes, he sounds obsessed, and that is the red flag. I mean, he's all set to fall in love with you simply because you looked better than he expected, not exactly flattering. He's just desperate for a woman and has a very hard time maintaining around them. So your call. It would scare me off. I think he's going to be overly invested way too soon and then as he gets to know you, he's going to realize you're not the fantasy in his head but a real woman he has to learn to get to know and deal with who doesn't act like his fantasy.
Author Carlotte Posted December 31, 2018 Author Posted December 31, 2018 He just sounds very inexperienced and scared and may have social anxiety problems, and yes, he sounds obsessed, and that is the red flag. I mean, he's all set to fall in love with you simply because you looked better than he expected, not exactly flattering. He's just desperate for a woman and has a very hard time maintaining around them. So your call. It would scare me off. I think he's going to be overly invested way too soon and then as he gets to know you, he's going to realize you're not the fantasy in his head but a real woman he has to learn to get to know and deal with who doesn't act like his fantasy. He told me before that he liked me bio (I wrote quite a lot about myself) and told me he likes my eyes (based on the photo) before we met. So I suppose he might like the way I look before. I agree with the last sentence though.
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