ChuckDee33 Posted September 15, 2005 Posted September 15, 2005 Background info is here http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t65501/ So I have been doing much better with this whole thing, I really have. Last time I had any contact with her was about 5 weeks ago. She's tried to talk to me on IM a couple of times and has called me twice but I didn't answer. You know when it's become less of an issue when you're not on LS all the time! I don't get sad about it anymore and she definitely not on my mind as much. But I do still think about her and I do still miss her. I know I have some more things to figure out in my own life right now. I know I shouldn't contact her even though she's probably missing me right now. I don't know what her situation is and to be honest I don't care right now. Although, I get a strong urge sometime to just say hi and I haven't forgotten about you, you know? But I'm sure she knows that so it wouldn't serve any purpose. I think I will email her or something when the time is right...which is not now and not anytime soon. Anyway, NC does make it easier to move forward with your life. It doesn't make you miss them any less though, at least not me. I hope I can stay as strong as I have been but it's tough when that phone rings and her name pops up. It makes you start thinking, wondering, analyzing and I hate that. But she's probably doing the exact same about me. Sigh, life goes on. But I miss our friendship and the love we shared.
BklynGuy Posted September 18, 2005 Posted September 18, 2005 Yeah, youre rite. Life goes on and NC is the easiest way to accept the end of a relationship. It hurts so bad when its over but you have to move on. Keep your head up and stay strong.
Fallen_Angel Posted September 18, 2005 Posted September 18, 2005 I agree, Chuck. I haven't been perusing the boards as often (lack of time? aversion to new format?!) and I somehow think it has helped me a little. Sometimes when I read what people have posted, I feel a mixture of sadness and hope. It's like a toxic brew that oftentimes leads me to calling my ex. It's not a good thing. I called my ex on Wednesday. I knew I shouldn't have given in; I was doing really well! He had e-mailed me a few days before and I sent back a rather generic reply, but I hadn't called him in close to three weeks. I was having a really rough day at work, though, and I needed some reasssurance. While it was a bit comforting to talk to him, I knew it was only a short term solution. He told me he'd call me back the same night, then sent me a text message later stating he was "busy" and would explain at another time. Ha. Haven't heard from the jerk. I finally came to the conclusion that NC IS the best way to make an attempt at moving forward. The problem was that somehow in my head I had thought NC would ease some of the pain. I don't know why I felt that way, because the reality is that both staying in contact and NOT staying in contact hurt equally (akin to stabbing yourself in the eyes with rusty nails, I think!!!). The only difference is the long term result: NC will grant you back your sanity a great deal sooner. I'm glad you're so honest, Chuck. The urge to contact fades in frequency, but for me it NEVER fades in intensity.
seductress989 Posted September 18, 2005 Posted September 18, 2005 Hello guys, I can certainly say that NC pays off. At first you will have urges to call him, see him, text him, or should I say contact him. I dumped my ex last June and waited until Jan to start NC. Stupid me! The only reason I waited that long was that he'd IM me or call me and I was too weak to resist. At first I honestly thought I made a mistake. I've been on LS a lot especially last year trying to analyze my ex but I quickly resumed my life after I realized NC was getting me somewhere. I slowly stopped thinking of him and started to move on with my life. I have had the best summer of my life going out, playing the field, working out (I've lost 40 pounds!) and I'm truly happy!!!!! That's why I haven't been on here in so long. I've learned that there are so many people out there and I'm sooooooooo glad I broke up with him! I don't miss him now or even think of him. Now when I see him I just smile and walk on confidently. He, on the other hand doesn't smile b/c he realizes now what he had and it's long gone. The reason I say that is b/c my bro works w/him and he told my bro that I was the best g/f he ever had and he still misses me! I admit, hearing that made me happy but the feeling is definitely not mutual. That is my NC success story. Just thought I'd give you some encouragement b/c LIFE does go on!
sanne Posted September 19, 2005 Posted September 19, 2005 trust me NC is definitely the way to go. like an idiot i decided to contact my ex after a month and a half of NC. i thought i'd be ok and could handle a harmless conversation with her. so she's online, and i instant message her. right off the bat she is cold and distant and has short and terse replies. this gets me a little upset and i'm wondering why is she acting this way after all this time, can't she at least be friendly. so i keep pushing and prodding trying to figure out why she's being such a bitch, and then she drops the bomb on me. apparently she is still in love with her ex (the one she cheated on me with) and has yet to tell him that she loves him. in a matter of 15 minutes my month and half's hard work is flushed down the toilet. i fell back to step one of the breakup at that instant. if anything positive came out of this, it is knowing that I can never and will never contact my ex under any circumstances. i've also ruled out any possibility of ever being in any sort of relationship with her. what she has shown me is that she is incredibly unstable and messed up, and i should be so lucky to be away from her. so anyways, what i want to say is this, NC sucks and it's hard, BUT IT WORKS. it is the only way to move on with your life.
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