Tydog Posted September 15, 2005 Posted September 15, 2005 ok, this is kind of embarassing...... I find it difficult to get an erection when i'm with girlfriends. I know i can get them and maintain them because when i watch porn i'm harder than a civil engineering exam. I can get up but i find it hard to maintain it. There seems to be a window where i have a erection.... I'll get a erection and If i don't finish the business in a few minutes, i start getting soft and i can't get another erection. Sex feels great! it's awesome! i wanna do it like 10 times a night but it is only once or twice...... I was wondering whats wrong! I'm totally attracted to these girls but I just can't get it up sometimes!
Raz Posted September 16, 2005 Posted September 16, 2005 It sounds like what my boyfriend would go through. I'm not a guy so I don't know how much help I would be. But, what I have to say might help. When my boyfriend gets an erection and starts thinking about other things that don't involve sex or things that turn him on he will start to lose his erection. Have you tried thinking about a porn that you enjoy, or think about somthing that just absoultly turns you on? I don't know if this is possible, but can you lose an erection by stressing about maintaining it and consentrating too much? Hope some other members have some more advice for you... I understand how frustrating it can be. Good luck
Gold Pile Posted September 17, 2005 Posted September 17, 2005 Some guys who get and maintain erections in private, have trouble getting/maint them with others around. I'm not sure if Viagra would help, or even if it's advisable. Ask oucast;) , or better yet your Doctor.
Outcast Posted September 17, 2005 Posted September 17, 2005 It's probably nerves. And of course the more you think about your problem, the more nervous you get. Maybe the next time you're in the mood while alone, imagine that you're with the lady you're interested in and picture yourself going through with the act. Basically, use the system that athletes do to picture themselves winning. Don't allow yourself to imagine losing the erection; if that image comes, replace it with the image of your 'harder than a civil engineering exam' erection ( - great phrase).
mixwell Posted September 17, 2005 Posted September 17, 2005 I have a similar problem but its only like initially when I go to have sex for the first time with a new girl.. I can get oral or anything else and its fine, but when I put a condom on and get ready to it goes limp. I read online and its called performance anxiety. Basically we we soo nervous because we want to please our partner and this is what causes it. Actually I have had that happen lately, but since the first time with this girl I have no problems. You can do a search for it online and find out more about it.
whichwayisup Posted September 17, 2005 Posted September 17, 2005 First of all, stop watching porn. Take a break from it. Women in real life aren't porn stars and maybe you've gotten used to that kind of visual and masterbation. Also, do talk to your doctor about this problem, as you could have ED if the above isn't the culprit.
RecordProducer Posted September 17, 2005 Posted September 17, 2005 Sex feels great! it's awesome! i wanna do it like 10 times a night but it is only once or twice...... I don't quite understand. When you masturbate your erection lasts for a few minutes only, right? And with GFs too? Or you don't erect at all? You said you have sex once or twice, that's normal. Once or twice with a full erection? For how long?
Slapshot2286 Posted September 18, 2005 Posted September 18, 2005 Yeah its an embarrassing thing man. I had the EXACT same thing happen to me. To a T. I've been with my GF for over two years. For about 8 months, I just could not hold an erection. It started when I bought these performax (or some name) condoms that kinda numb your **** so you can go longer. After about 3 minutes, I went limp. I couldn't even feel anything. NOTHING. I was really scared. Oral wouldn't do it either. So I stopped, and from then on, for about 8 months, I couldn't get it up. I was really worried that I had a serious problem, and my gf was worried I wasn't attracted to her. I tried imagining porn and all that stuff, but the best thing I did was focus on the girl. On her body, her eyes. The worst thing you can do is think about your problem; you'll psych yourself out. Just keep telling yourself you don't have a problem, and focus on her. It'll eventually go away, trust me.
NYgages Posted September 18, 2005 Posted September 18, 2005 I'm not a medical authority at all, not even close. Viagra will give some the erection that anxiety prevents.
LazyLibra Posted September 18, 2005 Posted September 18, 2005 I don't quite understand. When you masturbate your erection lasts for a few minutes only, right? And with GFs too? Or you don't erect at all? You said you have sex once or twice, that's normal. Once or twice with a full erection? For how long? When i masturbate it will last until i'm done, no matter how long i take. Sometimes i prolong the ejaculation for a greater sensation. no problem! An update is also in order for you guys! Raz and outcast i thank you! I tried both or your suggestions and it worked! basically, I Thought about being hard as a "civil engineering exam" and it helped! ALso I started to talk dirty to my girlfriend! WOW! I went form soft to hard as you can get instantaneously! I just said "oh baby you want my hard C%*$ in you, You dirty girl" etc etc. SHE LOVED IT, Talked back and all! best turn on ever! Thanks
RainyDayWoman Posted September 18, 2005 Posted September 18, 2005 Excellent! and congratulations. welcome to the wide world of dirty-talk.
RecordProducer Posted September 18, 2005 Posted September 18, 2005 We're happy for you. This is one of the rare happy endings on LS! Dirty talk is great. You can also try discussing and/or playing your secret fantasies. Many girls are bi-curious or dream about sex with a stranger (you could be the stranger in the fantasy) or with the plumber, etc....
Raz Posted September 20, 2005 Posted September 20, 2005 CONGRATS!! I'm glad you found something that worked for you.. keep it up :-) and have fun.
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