RainyDayWoman Posted September 15, 2005 Posted September 15, 2005 by "normal person", i meant "yourself." and i never said i knew ugly,trashy, sleazy women who are not "in demand" when i said i guess i knew easy women. i meant that the women i know either know they will sleep with you or know that they won't, and it's not based on a guy having some elaborate plan. sorry for the confusion. so fine, maybe to you, it's not complicated, it comes so easy to act out this plan and it does work, but my question is, why do you need a plan in the first place? that's what seems to be the problem.
JS17 Posted September 15, 2005 Posted September 15, 2005 if you liked the guy and he gave you a good excuse then you would go out with him at a later date JS17. You know it, I know it. End of story. Never done it so far. And ya know what, I can't imagine liking someone sooo much after meeting them one time that I would be so desparate enough to let him pull that BS with me. You're full of crap Alpha.
quankanne Posted September 15, 2005 Posted September 15, 2005 it'll only work on dudes who have at least half a brain and also like you to begin with :laugh: you're terrible ... or did you intend the irony here?
Author alphamale Posted September 15, 2005 Author Posted September 15, 2005 but my question is, why do you need a plan in the first place? that's what seems to be the problem. for the same exact reason people need a plan for everything else in life. things generally don't fall into your lap. for example, to win the Lotto you need to plan to go to the corner store and buy a ticket.
lindya Posted September 15, 2005 Posted September 15, 2005 Scenario 1 OK...you meet some chick on the internet and email back and forth for a week or two and exchange pics. When you establish that she would be interested in meeting you totally stop all communication with her. Then, about four to six weeks later you send her and email giving her some bullshyt story about being out of town for work or some other legitimate-sounding lie like you cousin kicked-the-bucket. She will be even more into you now cause you did not come off as a dependent loser and you have other priorities and don't need women. Then you take her out and show her a good time and sex is almost guaranteed!!). Reality: Chick thinks "something a bit strange about this". Consults with friends who advise "Sounds dodgy. Reckon he's already involved with someone. Very probably married with kids. Careful with that internet dating thing." Chick double-checks by getting male opinion from male friends. Male consensus is "What a wanker. Stop talking to men on the internet, you weirdo." Scenario 2 You meet some bird at a bar or whereever and get her phone number. Then, you call her about a week later (at initial mtg you told her you'd call within a week) and chat her up and plan a date with her for a set night. Then....the night before the date you call her up and tell her you need to cancel cause some impt emergency happened (make it up!) and you're so upset and you'll try to call her within next few weeks if you feel up to it. Tell her you're real sorry and totally ham it up. Then...you call her like a month later and tell her your sad story (made up, of course) and you really want to see her. Reality: Chick consults with friends over a bottle of wine. Friends advise "For Christ's sake, get into a healthy sport and find yourself a decent man." Chick checks for second opinion from male cohorts who instantly splutter their beer all over the table whilst asking if you'd like them to create a genuine emergency for "the wanker".
RainyDayWoman Posted September 15, 2005 Posted September 15, 2005 for the same exact reason people need a plan for everything else in life. things generally don't fall into your lap. for example, to win the Lotto you need to plan to go to the corner store and buy a ticket. wow. i never realized life was so freaking difficult for some people. the lotto doesn't have emotions, it's chance. you don't win because it likes you, it just happens. and why do you have to plan to go to the corner store? can't you just go? it just seems so like...depair out of necessity. do you really need to use this much effort? i mean, i really do feel bad for you, and others out there that have to go through all this just to get laid (or to get a lottery ticket ) and i'm not being condescending, i really do feel bad that some people have to do so much work to get what comes so easily and effortlessly to others.
clandestinidad Posted September 15, 2005 Posted September 15, 2005 if youre just looking for sex, why not just join a site devoted to hooking people up....like ashleymadison or any of the others. then you dont have to lie/manipulate or put any effort in it, and still get laid!! woohooo! everybody wins, and the lady isnt left wondering what went so wrong that the guy just quit calling but anyway, I can see your point alpha. and moai's too. If some guy asked me, pathetically, "do you think you would ever date me?" I'd lose all interest. Although, I also lose interest and think they dont like me if it takes forever (2 weeks or more) to call me. I wonder if the majority of women that get involved in things like this have some heavy baggage, and thats why theyre drawn to men that are so distant and flippant with their feelings. Or maybe they just want to get laid too...which leads me to the first part of my post again;)
RainyDayWoman Posted September 15, 2005 Posted September 15, 2005 but anyway, I can see your point alpha. and moai's too. If some guy asked me, pathetically, "do you think you would ever date me?" I'd lose all interest. i see this point too. but there's got to be a balance between deparate-pathetic and desperate-on-a-mission.
Art_Critic Posted September 15, 2005 Posted September 15, 2005 if youre just looking for sex, why not just join a site devoted to hooking people up....like ashleymadison That'll do it.. Here are some stats from ashleymadison "" What is the ratio of Female to Male Member Sign Ups? At present, there are about 8.5 men for every 1.5 women that sign up on the AM website system."" Better for the women on there not the guys.. Wanna make a bet their signup rate goes up today
Author alphamale Posted September 15, 2005 Author Posted September 15, 2005 Reality: Chick thinks "something a bit strange about this". Consults with friends who advise "Sounds dodgy. Reckon he's already involved with someone. Very probably married with kids. Careful with that internet dating thing." Chick double-checks by getting male opinion from male friends. Male consensus is "What a wanker. Stop talking to men on the internet, you weirdo." Real Reality Scenario 1 Chick thinks: Wow, this guy didn't email me everyday and pester me to get together and hound me day and nite. He must have something going for him cause he does not seem desperate and he's got other stuff going on in his life. Wow, he seems interesting. He's so different that the other dudes i've met on the internet. Its OK he blew me off for 5 weeks but he had a legit reason....I can't wait to meet him. If he's a decent guy I may even give him sex on the first date Reality: Chick consults with friends over a bottle of wine. Friends advise "For Christ's sake, get into a healthy sport and find yourself a decent man." Chick checks for second opinion from male cohorts who instantly splutter their beer all over the table whilst asking if you'd like them to create a genuine emergency for "the wanker". Real Reality Scenario 2 Chick thinks: Wow, he said he would call within a week and he did! Cool...he was pretty cute and I'm so glad he hasn't called me every nite like all the other desperate and pathetic guys I meet at the bar. He's different and mysterious. Its too bad he had to cancel our date cause i was really looking fwd to it. Its sad about his cousin who lives 500 miles away getting testicular cancer. That's terrible. I really hope he calls me soon so we can go out and I can comfort him. What a great guy....he looks after his relatives. I'm so looking fwd to another time I can see him. I may even give him sex on the 1st date
clandestinidad Posted September 15, 2005 Posted September 15, 2005 Better for the women on there not the guys.. Wanna make a bet their signup rate goes up today well...lets just say that if I ever want a hook-up thats where I'll be the site's a little annoying though, b/c they delete your messages and cant always see pictures....plus, theyre mostly married people...there are other sites around too of course!!! hahaha anyway, I agree, alpha....no matter how hot the guy is or how much I was interested in him, if he comes out calling me twice a day, and emailing me, and texting me, all this every day or even every other day, he seems too psycho (but if it takes more than 2 weeks to get in touch with me, then he's too much of a player...or just doesnt like me)
Moai Posted September 15, 2005 Posted September 15, 2005 If the way you behave is getting you the response you want, then don't change anything. But there are lots of people acting a certain way hoping for a certain kind of response and aren't getting it. You can change the world, or you can change yourself. Ironically, when you change yourself you DO change the world. And there are no universals. One way of behavior won't get you every woman on the planet. But, by being a challenge you will have a better chance with more than otherwise.
IhavenoFREAKINclue Posted September 15, 2005 Posted September 15, 2005 I don't know about this. I don't think it should be this hard. I'm all for scamming women to get in their pants ( I don't fall for it, I'm smarter than them) But a different approach, one with not so much nitty gritty details. What if you were to call within 2-3 weeks? What could possible take you 4-6 weeks to finish where you had NO time to call her? Some bugs need to be worked out.. or try different scamming approaches. All in all, someones getting laid tonight! WHOOO HOOO!!!
Author alphamale Posted September 15, 2005 Author Posted September 15, 2005 (but if it takes more than 2 weeks to get in touch with me, then he's too much of a player...or just doesnt like me) Ok, KAT23, but what if the guy tells you up front that he's gonna be real busy and will call you within the next 3 weeks. Then, even if he calls you 21 days later he still called within the time-frame he gave you and you cannot be mad.
JS17 Posted September 15, 2005 Posted September 15, 2005 Warning: Poster about to sound really dumb and naieve I've never heard of ashleymadison but from what I'm getting it just sets people up for sex. My dumb question is what's the point? Why not just pick someone up in a bar or something if that's all you're looking for?
lindya Posted September 15, 2005 Posted September 15, 2005 If some guy asked me, pathetically, "do you think you would ever date me?" I'd lose all interest. Course you would. It conjures up images of some buck-toothed lunatic, sidling up beside you in the library and attracting furious "ssshhh" sounds on account of his knees knocking together so loudly. Like someone else said, there's a happy medium.
lindya Posted September 15, 2005 Posted September 15, 2005 [He's different and mysterious. Its too bad he had to cancel our date cause i was really looking fwd to it. Its sad about his cousin who lives 500 miles away getting testicular cancer. That's terrible. :eek: :eek:
Moai Posted September 15, 2005 Posted September 15, 2005 do you really need to use this much effort? i mean, i really do feel bad for you, and others out there that have to go through all this just to get laid (or to get a lottery ticket ) and i'm not being condescending, i really do feel bad that some people have to do so much work to get what comes so easily and effortlessly to others. Some people naturally act this way. I know men who have always acted like this, as if it came effortlessly. I always was the "just friends" guy. I hated it. So, I watched men who got more romantic attention and began to emulate them. And it worked. Now I do it without thinking,and the great thing is I not only have great romantic relationships, I have great friendships, too. If someone is too heavy and they lose weight to be more attractive, is that manipulative and wrong? Why is it ok to change your outside bu not your inside? This whole cult of "you're beautiful just the way you are" is crap. You should like yourself no matter what you are, but you should also work to change yourself for the better. Especially if you aren't getting what you want in relationships. I also don't think there is a woman out there pining away for a clingy douchebag. I think alpha goes a little overboard regarding making things up to score, but I am in no position to judge.
Author alphamale Posted September 15, 2005 Author Posted September 15, 2005 Warning: Poster about to sound really dumb and naieve I've never heard of ashleymadison but from what I'm getting it just sets people up for sex. My dumb question is what's the point? Why not just pick someone up in a bar or something if that's all you're looking for? It is fairly easy for even an average-looking woman to walk into a bar and walk out with some dude on her arm for a night of cheap and sweaty sex. Unfortuantely, this is not so easy for most men....unless they are very good looking or loaded with ca$h. In addition, JS17, you are forgetting that most women are not into casual sex.
clandestinidad Posted September 15, 2005 Posted September 15, 2005 Ok, KAT23, but what if the guy tells you up front that he's gonna be real busy and will call you within the next 3 weeks. Then, even if he calls you 21 days later he still called within the time-frame he gave you and you cannot be mad. yeah, no, I wouldnt be mad if he did that. Telling me beforehand is a nice thing to do, rather than leave me wondering for weeks! But I might be dating someone else who showed a little more interest by that point
sanne Posted September 15, 2005 Posted September 15, 2005 i honestly think that people like alpha are the reason why dating is so impossible these days. everyone is so damn afraid to say what's really on their mind and to let the other person know that they are interested and having a good time. i think the best approach is to just say fsck all the rules and do what you want and what feels right. if you really vibe with a girl and want to hang out just call her up and let her know. if a girl wants to play stupid mind games i'm not gonna waste my time.
Moai Posted September 15, 2005 Posted September 15, 2005 Dating is actually really easy, you just have to know how to do it.
sanne Posted September 15, 2005 Posted September 15, 2005 it's hilarious to hear what everyone here is saying. the fact of the matter is that when you fall head over heels for someone, EVERYTHING GOES OUT THE WINDOW.
Nyasa Posted September 15, 2005 Posted September 15, 2005 You are exactly right sanne! And a women knows pretty much from the moment she meets you wheter or not she is going to sleep with you. You can play all the games you want, if she's strong minded and not hanging out with you at the bar all night alone with shots of tequila being swigged (which chances are if she knows your into her and she is not, she won't even go there) there ain't no game that is going to change her mind! AND we know the guys that come up and play those lame ass "I'm going to try to be totally cool and not hang all over her" games, please yawn! If a guy did not return my call, canceled a date or disappered and suddneley called one day I can guarantee you I'd be WAY over you and onto someone else. WE KNOW the game too, we know which guys our out to "get in our pants" and be done with us. Good lord if I could count all the guys to this day that WILL NOT STOP with the bull crap and I KNOW the moment I would sleep with them they would barely say two words to me b/c the game has played and they believe they have won. Speaking from experience I NEVER give into these guys no matter how cute they are, b/c I like the constant attention and the funny way they think they have you hooked, rather than having the 5 minutes of "sweaty sex". And if I decide to have sex with that guy, why don't you think it's b/c we just want to hook up no strings attached. You underestimate a women's power when it comes to sex, she has the control wheter you want to believe it or not. Of course I must admit the guys I end up falling into a "realtionship" with are the ones that do not pay me all the attention and are emotionally unavailable to me, hum. So if a guy was going to want me in a realtionship I might fall for his crap, but SEX, I feel I have more control over my legs as opposed to my heart.
JS17 Posted September 15, 2005 Posted September 15, 2005 it's hilarious to hear what everyone here is saying. the fact of the matter is that when you fall head over heels for someone, EVERYTHING GOES OUT THE WINDOW. So true! About "it being what makes dating so hard these days" I don't think most people are ok with playing the games that Alpha is talking about. Most people are turned off by games and once you're caught, bye bye.
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