At what point do you give up hope that your boyfriend will make the right change?

[Faithornot]

At what point do you give up hope your boyfriend will make the right change?

 

I have an extremely loving boyfriend but he has issues with managing his limited funds. I’ve helped him to budget over the years and made new demands involving him spending money on me since I’m self-sufficient. I’ve seen some progress recently but he still should be in a better position in regard to his monthly bills. He is paying generally on time but it cuts close on some occasions.

 

We had talked about living together and I eventually told him I can’t unless and until he really has shown financial responsibility. He understands.

 

The issue I have is that he has broken his promises to me in the past about money. He now wants me to wait longer so he can show me the continued improvement in his finances. He tells me his Social Security check is going up next month and his medical expenses are going down a little so that should give him a little more surplus. He has also promised to move the money that was left to him as inheritance and he had been using for some bills all into a money market account which will be used strictly for savings.

 

In the interim I met someone by chance and he seems like a good match but I think it’s unfair to pursue that relationship until I know I’m done for good with the current bf.

 

Should I continue to see what happens with the current bf? He has disappointed me in the past but I do see some progress.

Edited December 29, 2018 by Faithornot

[d0nnivain]

By the time someone is on SS their relationship with money is pretty set in stone. He's not going to change. Even if you have him now paying bills on time, he's not going to convert to your way of saving & you will never be happy with his choices. If you can't accept him exactly how he is, delinquent payments at all, move along for your own peace of mind.

[smackie9]

If you move in together, find a lawyer to set up a prenup for common-law cohabitation. This will protect you financially, and protect any assets you may have ie: pension, house, car, nest egg, etc. AND it would be wise to find out if he is able to take care of the medical bills if he gets ill. This needs to be discussed with him, and he needs to physically show proof of medicare, insurance, etc.

 

Next, never have joint accounts or credit cards. His debt will become yours if you do.