Mamaof1boy Posted December 29, 2018 Posted December 29, 2018 (edited) Hello - I'm new to this so please excuse me if I dont make any sense or if I am posting in the wrong thread. I am 31 years old and am a single mother of an almost 4 year old little boy. I havent always been single , about 2 years ago my ex of then 12 years walked out on me and our son . VERY long story short , I was completely blindsided and about a year into the break up found out he had been seeing another girl the whole year we had been broken up..all that would have been fine if he would of told me that he was bringing this other girl around our son that whole time . Like I said a very long story but I felt completely betrayed and heartbroken because I still love him and he promised of course to stop and told me he wanted to work on things and I believed him and we tried , or I tried and then I found out he was still doing it , my son would accidentally call me this other girls name when he came home from his dads (which hurt like hell) and the list goes ok . Here we are nearly 3 years now into the break up and hes still doing it but still wont let me move on. I guess I cant ignore him since we have a son , and hes a decent dad when he wants to be but hes ditched his son out on to many occasions and doesnt give me any credit and clearly doesnt respect a damn thing I say or ask of him . He does what he wants with our son , and gets mad if I text him and ask him how he is , but in my defense my son is a baby , I have every right to ask but he doesnt think so . We have never been to court but he just started about 8 months ago paying some child support . My son comes back from his dads and is mean to me and hateful and it hurts . I'm fed up! I dont want him in my life anymore. Is that wrong of me !?!would it be wrong of me to stay away from him for awhile so I can clear my mind? And not let him see his son ? I just need a break from all of this ! Why is he disrespectful towards me !?! Oh and let me add that he wont allow me to meet this other girl , my ex still tries to have sex with me as well .. one minute he loves me the next he doesnt . Please just give me any advice possible I feel I am going crazy . Thank you xoxox Edited December 29, 2018 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Paragraphs, edit title and move to BBU
Mr. Lucky Posted December 29, 2018 Posted December 29, 2018 my ex still tries to have sex with me as well .. one minute he loves me the next he doesnt . Please just give me any advice possible I feel I am going crazy . Figured something like this was the real issue. Mamaof1boy, your ex is really blameless in most of this. Why would I say that? Because, over the last two years, he's shown you exactly who he is and what his intentions are, couldn't be any more clear had he tattooed it on his forehead. And yet, knowing he's a cheating d-bag, you're still playing this romantic game of hide and seek with him. He's a user pure and simple and you continue to allow yourself to be used. Wise up, get a lawyer and haul his butt into court. You need orders for support and custody so you can effectively parent your son. Hopefully even you will agree, at some point enough is enough... Mr. Lucky 1
Ronni_W Posted December 30, 2018 Posted December 30, 2018 Mamaof1boy, your ex is really blameless in most of this. No, that is absolutely not true -- regardless of anything and everything else. Each individual person is completely at fault or to blame for his/her own negative behaviour and attitudes. They/we cannot blame it on someone else's naïveté, blindness, ignorance, or whatever else. However, after that does come into play if we, of our own free will, choose to keep ourselves in naïveté, blindness, ignorance, or whatever else. Mamaof1boy, if you know that 'Dad' is only acting in his own best interests, then you already know how to protect your own son. It goes beyond what you want or desire for yourself. Sometimes, for a parent -- which is completely different for a non-parent -- there is a clear choice that has to be made. It's not a 'right' or 'wrong' choice, just a choice. You get to choose. And, sometimes, the choice is either yourself or your child (or children).
stillafool Posted December 30, 2018 Posted December 30, 2018 It isn't that he won't let you move on. You have to move on for yourself as you do not need his permission. See a lawyer and get your rights protected however he has rights to see his son as well. 1
Giraffe-A Posted December 30, 2018 Posted December 30, 2018 This must be really hard for you. He needs boundaries. Sounds like you would be strong enough on your own, but you must endure it for the sake of your son. You’re a better woman and you realize that too good for this petson. Get the legal system involved. They will help you set those boundaries to help you heal.
loversquarrel Posted January 2, 2019 Posted January 2, 2019 OP, its time to speak with a lawyer regarding custody issues and child support. Legally he has a right to time with his son but parameters need to be set so you both have a predetermined time to be followed. Also he has no legal obligation for you to meet his new girlfriend. I reiterate - get a lawyer, go to court and establish a legal and binding framework for the both of you to follow.
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