greymatter Posted January 1, 2019 Posted January 1, 2019 The communication issues are not the only thing I would be concerned about. I wouldn't date a guy who drinks to the point of getting drunk. Your BF is a heavy drinker. Are you concerned about that at all? Sorry but he doesn't seem serious about making this work. Inconsistent (and inconsiderate) is really the perfect description of how he is approaching things with you and I can tell it doesn't feel good.
Gretchen12 Posted January 1, 2019 Posted January 1, 2019 OP, either you decide to be ok not getting a prompt reply to some of your texts, or you reduce the number of texts you send. If you send only few, but important texts, you have every right to demand a reply. Don't be shy about that! If you send too many, you don't have a right to expect he texts the same way as you. Try to compromise.
smackie9 Posted January 1, 2019 Posted January 1, 2019 You can talk in circles about this all day long, it still doesn't change the fact he's not going to have long intimate conversations with you and he will carry on contacting you for days with his busy life. He already explained that to you. If you don't like it, don't date him....nothing is going to change.
fieldoflavender Posted January 2, 2019 Posted January 2, 2019 You need to fill your life with other things. But I think I would get annoyed if someone didn't reply within a day at the very least. It depends - if I'm looking to chat, then whatever, they could be busy. But if I have a legit question, they need to be able to respond quickly if it's an important/relevant question. I'm trying to be less needy too. I like constant messages too but it can burn someone out. So I'm okay just doing my own thing too.
Author Ariesgirly Posted January 2, 2019 Author Posted January 2, 2019 You need to fill your life with other things. But I think I would get annoyed if someone didn't reply within a day at the very least. It depends - if I'm looking to chat, then whatever, they could be busy. But if I have a legit question, they need to be able to respond quickly if it's an important/relevant question. I'm trying to be less needy too. I like constant messages too but it can burn someone out. So I'm okay just doing my own thing too. I really don't see it as needy wanting communication everyday. I want someone who wants me and to me that means someone who wants to speak with me everyday! As of now I am really just hurt that he didn't even think of me last night at midnight and didn't have the decency to write me anything even today. The longer I sit here and stew in it the more angry I am becoming that by the time he even reaches out I might say something I will regret. I really was trying to approach this whole scenario and be okay and less particular about those little things but the more time that goes by I keep feeling like I am not knowing where to draw the line between that and feeling like I am being disrespected
edgygirl Posted January 2, 2019 Posted January 2, 2019 Gosh... you're having all the signs of insecure attachment. Either you work on that, or you decide you can't take a partner that won't communicate daily and say goodbye. He WILL NOT change. He is what he is, I doubt he will become the "texter" if you just ask him. Three choices: 1. Accept it and deal with it 2. Work on your anxiety/attachment style so you can take his communication style or 3. Leave him. Alright I already said the above a few times so I'm out of here. Good luck! I really don't see it as needy wanting communication everyday. I want someone who wants me and to me that means someone who wants to speak with me everyday! As of now I am really just hurt that he didn't even think of me last night at midnight and didn't have the decency to write me anything even today. The longer I sit here and stew in it the more angry I am becoming that by the time he even reaches out I might say something I will regret. I really was trying to approach this whole scenario and be okay and less particular about those little things but the more time that goes by I keep feeling like I am not knowing where to draw the line between that and feeling like I am being disrespected
I'veseenbetterlol Posted January 2, 2019 Posted January 2, 2019 You can talk in circles about this all day long, it still doesn't change the fact he's not going to have long intimate conversations with you and he will carry on contacting you for days with his busy life. He already explained that to you. If you don't like it, don't date him....nothing is going to change. This is really true, if the intimate convos aren't there, they will not be. I asked a guy I was dating to text me more, he would change for a week, then go 6 or more hours w/out texting me. He wasn't even busy and was always messaging his friends.
butwhytho Posted January 2, 2019 Posted January 2, 2019 It’s too soon to be exclusive after 3 dates, you barely know him. He’s being agreeable about being exclusive to get you to sleep with him. He’s not really texting you cause he doesn’t feel like it. Look at his actions vs his words.
I'veseenbetterlol Posted January 3, 2019 Posted January 3, 2019 I'm not sure why you are back and forth on this. If he doesn't communicate with you the way you expect, don't date someone like that. Agree! He will never communicate the way you want him too. Doesn't sound like he is all that interested. I've been through this, better to leave then suffer through all this crap.
olivetree Posted January 3, 2019 Posted January 3, 2019 I disagree that this guy will not change his texting style as things progress. You barely know each other! Give this thing a chance to develop and for you two to get comfortable with each other. He may need you to spell it out for him that you want to hear from him more for him to feel comfortable enough to text you/call you more as well. I also think that his response to you telling him that you were thinking of him and to drive safe was as simple and sweet as yours. A word of advice - I wouldn't mention your tendency to "get bored" of guys in the future. It can be taken the wrong way.
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