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Does this guy just want to get in my pants or does he actually want a friendship?

Lilllyb

By Lilllyb
in Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy

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Lilllyb New Member

Lilllyb

Posted
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So I have a boyfriend and all and have been in a relationship for over a year now.

There's this guy at my gym that hits on me not that occasionally but time to time. We normally have casual conversations but today's was weird. He knows I have a boyfriend and all and asked me how I spent the holidays with him. But then after I left the gym he asks me what I have left to do and I said Squats and he's like oh you wanna make your ass bigger ;) kinda like that and I'm like yeah and he's like well I'm an ass guy and I can definitely see it's growing and I like it. And he's like but I'm going to stop at it there...wouldn't want your boyfriend to get mad at me. And then there was one other time where he told me I have a really nice body. I just blush and laugh awkwardly because I feel awkward but do you think he basically just wants to get in my pants and not want a genuine friendship with me?

I'm 19 and he's 27

stillafool Established Member

stillafool

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Do you really need to ask us? He just wants sex he already knows you have a bf so easy sex with no commitments. If you are game keep entertaining him. If you want to respect your bf ignore him and shut him down.

  • Like 4
Simple Logic Established Member

Simple Logic

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He is testing the waters to see if you want to play.

  • Like 2
FMW Established Member

FMW

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He's testing the waters to see if you're open to cheating on your boyfriend. He may just have fun flirting until he gets bored with it and realizes he's not going to get anywhere, but he's not looking for friendship.

  • Like 1
Zahara Established Member

Zahara

Posted
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You’re asking if a guy who talks about your “ass” and is scanning your body wants a friendship? You can’t be that gullible. Also, why are you entertaining him? Respect your relationship and your boyfriend and stop engaging with this guy.

  • Like 4
See-Me-Feel-Me Established Member

See-Me-Feel-Me

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He's making *SEXY TIME* talk to try to insert himself as a sex partner into your head. It has worked--but not necessarily to his advantage I would say. :rolleyes:

  • Like 1
SameMistake Member

SameMistake

Posted
Posted
You’re asking if a guy who talks about your “ass” and is scanning your body wants a friendship? You can’t be that gullible. Also, why are you entertaining him? Respect your relationship and your boyfriend and stop engaging with this guy.

Perfectly said.

  • Like 1
smackie9 Established Member

smackie9

Posted
Posted

You don't have a ring on your finger so you are fair game. I agree stop engaging with this guy. And here's a tip: guys are not looking for a friendship when they like talking about how great your rack is.

Giraffe-A Established Member

Giraffe-A

Posted
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Any other gym guy would walk you through a few exercises to target the muscles you need to achieve your goals. Not only does he want sex with you, he’s letting you how disrespectful he is towards you and towards your relationship.

carhill Established Member

carhill

Posted
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OP, think of this interaction as a wonderful opportunity to form and communicate boundaries, something you'll make a lot of use with in your coming decades of life.

 

Men are going to approach you sexually. Single men, married men, fathers, grandfathers, basically anything with a dick.

 

Expect all men are approaching you sexually unless, and the unless is exclusive, the focus is completely on a shared interest. You can tell the exclusive part if you focus only on the interest and he responds positively and his eyes don't glaze over with boredom because, well, he wasn't that interested. ;)

 

I'd switch workout time and move on. You have a boyfriend, I trust you and he are having a good time in life; spend social time with your girlfriends. Easy peasy.

  • Like 2
Mrs._December Established Member

Mrs._December

Posted
Posted
There's this guy at my gym that hits on me not that occasionally but time to time. We normally have casual conversations but today's was weird. He knows I have a boyfriend and all and asked me how I spent the holidays with him. But then after I left the gym he asks me what I have left to do and I said Squats and he's like oh you wanna make your ass bigger ;) kinda like that and I'm like yeah and he's like well I'm an ass guy and I can definitely see it's growing and I like it. And he's like but I'm going to stop at it there...wouldn't want your boyfriend to get mad at me. And then there was one other time where he told me I have a really nice body. I just blush and laugh awkwardly because I feel awkward but do you think he basically just wants to get in my pants and not want a genuine friendship with me?

I'm 19 and he's 27

A 27 year old gym rat hitting on a 19 year old teenage girl.

 

What a surprise. :rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:

 

He sounds pretty crass even though I think you find his comments flattering. As you get older and wiser, you'll see that his piggish 'compliments' are not flattering in the least. As far as hitting on you occasionally, he's just throwing out bait in the hopes that you'll take it one day. I know a lot of guys who do that - it's merely a numbers game. They throw out bait ALL OVER THE PLACE because the key to getting girlie action is spreading your net far and wide. The more women you hit on, the higher the chances you're going to get lucky. It's simple mathematics.

 

Lastly, don't be naive and think you're the only woman Gym Rat is hitting on.

 

Not.

Even.

Close.

 

Men have their buddies for friends. They don't need female 'friends' they're looking to bed down.

smackie9 Established Member

smackie9

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Pants or friendship? It's pants.

Art_Critic Established Member

Art_Critic

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Pants or friendship? It's pants.

 

 

It's always pants... always...

  • Like 1
d0nnivain Established Member

d0nnivain

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This lecherous man does not want a friendship (without benefits) with a teenager. He wants to be able to brag that he nailed the hot piece of ass at the gym.

 

If you have a BF & would like to keep said BF, avoid this guy at the gym.

  • Like 1
manfrombelow2 Established Member

manfrombelow2

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To be fair, I would not try to tell OP to stay away from that guy, the same way I would not try to tell anyone that they should wash their hands before eating, or they should not slap that hot chick's butts in their workplace if they don't want to be sued for sexual harassment... etc.

 

I mean, that's just common sense, and OP is an adult with fully normally functioning mind and brain, not a child, so insteading of trying to tell OP to do this or that, I just answer her question: Yes, that guy (not only him, but most men) just wants to get in your pants.

 

Moreover, all is fair in love and war, that gym guy has every right to hit on OP, OP has every right to sleep with him if she wants to, and OP's boyfriend has every right to dump her if he finds this out.

 

All is fair in love and war. And we don't waste time telling an adult what and what not to do.

smackie9 Established Member

smackie9

Posted
Posted (edited)

Ya but this is why people come here....to hear other opinions, and get some advice. They can take away whatever advice suits them.

Not to insult anyone but the OP sounds inexperienced/naive so of course we are going to give her the mom/dad talk...it's what us old farts on here do......because we care.

Edited by smackie9
  • Like 3
Hollywood-Tourist Established Member

Hollywood-Tourist

Posted
Posted
Do you really need to ask us? He just wants sex he already knows you have a bf so easy sex with no commitments. If you are game keep entertaining him. If you want to respect your bf ignore him and shut him down.

 

 

 

This is similar to my situation except my now ex girlfriend went out her way to text a guy she met on a dating site (whilst she was in a relationship with me) and he steered the relationship to a sexual direction and she then responded in turn rather than telling him to eff off.

 

 

That tells me that she didn't respect me or perhaps even love me. She's shown her true colours though.

  • 3 weeks later...
S_A Established Member

S_A

Posted
Posted
This lecherous man does not want a friendship (without benefits) with a teenager. He wants to be able to brag that he nailed the hot piece of ass at the gym.

 

If you have a BF & would like to keep said BF, avoid this guy at the gym.

 

She probably should consider dating more people anyway. She is only 19 and needs the experience with people so that she is best equipped to choose the right partner for the long-term (assuming that's her endgame).

Heidi_Alot Member

Heidi_Alot

Posted
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dating girls = a lot easier.

guys hands are too rough with your t&a and mum never let me have a guy in the house or me at a guys house either, so a lot easier to be with a girl!

  • 1 month later...
yololin Established Member

yololin

Posted
Posted

This thread just astounds me. Girls - guys never want to be friends with you. We all just want what's between your legs.

  • Like 1
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