Would you find this offending?

[See-Me-Feel-Me]

What a stupid question really. "Are girls from your country fun?" What does one even say to that? "Yes, they are fun, fun fun till their daddy takes their T-birds away."

 

 

 

It's a tad politically incorrect. "Yes, are boys where you live fun too? Whoopee! Fun, fun fun, all day and all the night. Just no sex fun. Buh-bye, ass-hole."

[losangelena]

Asking if your accent sounds sexy? Jeez, how corny/thirsty can you be? I would be turned off by that, too. I’m like you, I seek to understand the individual, so when a guy asks questions around my heritage or looks as a way to learn about “women like me,” it feels lame. Like dude, I am not your educator. I cannot speak for all. It feels lazy to me when it happens.

 

Eh, I don’t think you’re missing out on anything by nexting this guy.

[basil67]

I would not have made a connection between asking if Polish girls are fun meaning that they are easy. And I would have deflected it by simply stating that we're all different and he should see what he thinks of me. As for the rest, it just sounds like he was somewhat awkwardly getting to know you.

 

So no, I would not have been offended.

 

I should qualify this by explaining that I'm notoriously hard to offend.

[chillii]

Well, I already told him bye. Then he asked why to which i replied "really? why?" and he said: I am not sure, I didn't say much"

 

I can't and don't really want to text him again. I just hate when people focus on stereotypes and other shallow things. I am an individual, I might have similar accent to other people from my country but whether I am fun to hang out with or not has nothing to do with my ethnicity.

 

Maybe it was his attempt to flirt but it really rubbed me the wrong way.

 

 

 

 

lf you don't then don't and l don't blame you. He sounded like a very obvious try hard tool to me, probably watches all the dating videos we hear about.

[nodramallama]

Offended? No. Put off? Yes.

 

I agree with the pp who said it sounds like he was testing the waters for a FWB, phone sex, or something similar. And I agree that the use of the word "sexy" so early in a conversation is inappropriate.

[Art_Critic]

I just hate when people focus on stereotypes and other shallow things.

 

Isn't that kinda what you just did too ?

You focused on the tone in the written word.

 

It sounds like he was making conversation and nothing more.. okay maybe his game wasn't prime but he was trying.. I would think at this point it's too late to go back but learn from it.. first off you should have asked to talk to him on the phone as soon as the accent text came about, what a great lead in to place the call and find out more about someone...

[Cersei]

I think he was just trying to see if you were up for flirty, sexy talk. He soon found out nope, not so much. I had something like this happen and just politely put a stop to it before his hopes got up. Neither of you did anything wrong.

[Sarah_Smiles]

I think he was just trying to find out more about you and was not asking you the right questions, maybe he was nervous, or maybe he wanted you to call him, or something since he asked about you having an accent and if it was sexy. What type of questions would you preferred he asked you, maybe ask him those and then he will come back with "how about you?" and have a deeper conversation then he was going for.

[d0nnivain]

But he focused way too much on my ethnicity and I took his questions to mean: "are Polish/European girls easy girls?"

 

I get it, I just wanted to know if I am too stuck up, prude or easily offended (maybe the reason why I am still single ).

 

 

It's a contributing factor. You immediately thought fun meant sex, instead of just not reserved & boring. His combo of Asian & southern may mean he was simply hoping you weren't uptight & proper all the time, rather than some kind of code for DTF.

 

I took his Qs to mean he was trying to get to know you & your culture. You are the one who got all weird & tense about it.

 

The fact that he was asking about your accent rather than using the voice feature of the device in both your hands is another reason calls are superior to texts. You two could have avoided most of this if you had spoken to each other rather then texting. Maybe he was concerned that you two would have difficulty understanding each other.

 

This guy rubbed you the wrong way so you have now declined to meet. Fine. What's done is done but going forward, be quicker to talk on the phone & schedule a quick, public meet sooner rather than later so you can judge who a person is rather then who you mistake them for over text.

[elaine567]

You say you are not actually Polish, but do some girls from your country/ethnicity have a reputation of being "easy", hence why you took offence?

[smackie9]

I agree with you! I would find this shallow and offensive. This is something a guy would talk about with another guy that went on a trip to another country. It's like asking how are the girls where you came from, are they horny?

The guy is a numb nut, just pass on him quickly. You don't need to explain yourself or wonder if you are doing the right thing. stillafool is right. You can't help the way you feel, and it shouldn't matter to anyone but you.

[Geraltt]

Actually the guy sounds like a rookie.

 

Nailed it.

 

The guy is probably terrified. His nervousness came through on the text (whatever happened to actually talking on the phone to people??) and the OP may have misinterpreted it.

 

Don't be so quick to be offended, Annalie. Cut the dude some slack.

[Annalie]

You say you are not actually Polish, but do some girls from your country/ethnicity have a reputation of being "easy", hence why you took offence?

 

As far as I know, girls from my country do not have reputation of being easy girls, and honestly, i think he didn't know one single thing about my country (which is fine, so he asked about the accent), but asking if girls are fun to hang out with... even if he meant "are you fun to hang out with" it is still a dumb question, slightly disrespectful too. Dude find out for yourself if you find me fun and attractive or not:cool: