kisangani Posted December 27, 2018 Posted December 27, 2018 As the title suggests, I am new to tinder and somewhat disappointed in my results. I have swiped to the limit every 12 hours since signing up and have only gotten 13 matches. Most have responded, though a few unmatched. I am a 24 year old male, have 3 photos, and (what I think) is a well written bio. Does anyone have any suggestions on what I could do to get more matches and keep my elo score high?? Any input would be greatly appreciated. P.S. Sorry.......the last part of the title should say "What should I do differently?"
ShadeOfGreen Posted December 27, 2018 Posted December 27, 2018 It's really tough to say without more data on what your profile is like. So many things go into a good match rate. What's your location like? Close to a city or out in the country? Being close to population centers adds an automatic boost. Try to include a picture with friends to show that you are social. Avoid the selfie in a public bathroom pic. It's tacky, and a bit strange. Frame it so most of your body shape is showing. People want to know if you are in shape or have some extra pounds. It also portrays your fashion. It may seem a bit materialistic, but it's Tinder. So much is about how you look. 1
Author kisangani Posted December 27, 2018 Author Posted December 27, 2018 It's really tough to say without more data on what your profile is like. So many things go into a good match rate. What's your location like? Close to a city or out in the country? Being close to population centers adds an automatic boost. Try to include a picture with friends to show that you are social. Avoid the selfie in a public bathroom pic. It's tacky, and a bit strange. Frame it so most of your body shape is showing. People want to know if you are in shape or have some extra pounds. It also portrays your fashion. It may seem a bit materialistic, but it's Tinder. So much is about how you look. Thanks for the reply...........So I live in a medium sized city, but less than an hour away from one of the largest urban areas in the country. All three photos I have are of me alone (except one that I have with my dog) and none are selfies. I have one full body photo but none of them really show any of my body (I'm wearing a jacket or a sweater in all of them). I have pictures with some of my friends that I could definitely add. I was just concerned that if that becomes my main photo, people might not know which person I am. In the bio section, I mentioned my occupation (med student), a few hobbies, and one or two or my favorite tv shows.
Wallysbears Posted December 27, 2018 Posted December 27, 2018 Med student may be a turn off. I'd drop that out of the profile.
Unhappy_Nerd Posted December 27, 2018 Posted December 27, 2018 Honestly man, Tinder, and other Online dating sites are a numbers game...women get a ton of matches that they have to sort through. My cute female friends have shown me their Tinder profiles, and they have literally hundreds of guys matching with them. My big question would be: do you look like the same type of user as the women on Tinder in your area? e.g., Bumble and Tinder have very different demographics in my area. The edgier chicks (ink and piercings) are on Tinder, while the white-bread future soccer moms are on Bumble. I don't know you, or what you're into, but not matching the target demographic can be a big issue. I get a few hits now and then on Bumble, but I do much better on Tinder. (I'm inked, bearded, and have a "viking" vibe, which has been nice since that seems to be popular now).
smackie9 Posted December 27, 2018 Posted December 27, 2018 People don't like photos with friends. If anything just change the photos with updated ones, and nothing wrong with a selfie.
Author kisangani Posted December 27, 2018 Author Posted December 27, 2018 Med student may be a turn off. I'd drop that out of the profile. Really? Why would women see that as a negative?
Author kisangani Posted December 27, 2018 Author Posted December 27, 2018 Honestly man, Tinder, and other Online dating sites are a numbers game...women get a ton of matches that they have to sort through. My cute female friends have shown me their Tinder profiles, and they have literally hundreds of guys matching with them. My big question would be: do you look like the same type of user as the women on Tinder in your area? e.g., Bumble and Tinder have very different demographics in my area. The edgier chicks (ink and piercings) are on Tinder, while the white-bread future soccer moms are on Bumble. I don't know you, or what you're into, but not matching the target demographic can be a big issue. I get a few hits now and then on Bumble, but I do much better on Tinder. (I'm inked, bearded, and have a "viking" vibe, which has been nice since that seems to be popular now). I think I’ve been pretty selectively at least for a guy. I haven’t counted, but would guess I right swipe on like 30-60% of profiles I come across. I haven’t really looked too closely at the matches I have gotten, but for the most part, I can see something I like in all of them. I don’t really have a masculine appearance (thin, no facial hair, tattoos, ect) so I am assuming that rules out a good portion of tinder users based on what you are saying. I did however test all of my photos on photofeeler and seem to top out at about a 6/10 as far as attractiveness.
grays Posted December 28, 2018 Posted December 28, 2018 I would think a lot of women would see med student as s plus. I’d worry that you didn’t have time for me, but I find physicians to be really interesting and attractive. Some of them are caretakers, usually pretty confident, can save the day (I also find mechanics pretty irresistible for the same reason). And of course, there’s the gold diggers. If I met a doctor who was clearly in it for the money or was a plastic surgeon serving trophy wives, I’d probably find that a turn off.
Happy Lemming Posted December 28, 2018 Posted December 28, 2018 Any input would be greatly appreciated. P.S. Sorry.......the last part of the title should say "What should I do differently?" What's wrong with putting your phone down, going out into the real world and meeting women you find attractive?? Being a med student, I imagine you are highly intelligent, so why not increase your odds of meeting an intelligent woman. Any used book stores in your area?? or Barnes and Noble stores?? Its really easy to strike up a conversation in a book store. You can tell if the woman wants to continue talking to you or not. If she seems interested, go get a cup of coffee. 1
Wallysbears Posted December 28, 2018 Posted December 28, 2018 Really? Why would women see that as a negative? Lack of time. Depending on what year.
fred123 Posted December 28, 2018 Posted December 28, 2018 heres the blackpilled truth no ones telling you here cos theyre too nice. the reason u havnt got a lot of matches is because you are not that good looking. harsh but the reality has kicked in
ShadeOfGreen Posted December 28, 2018 Posted December 28, 2018 We all have different likes, so you are going to hear different opinions. I feel the biggest detractor to a picture with friends is the other person having to play the guessing game to figure out which one you are. As long as your main profile pic is just you, then no problem. Some people like the friends pic, and others don't. Up to you to decide. As far as med student, it can be a turn off to some people. I would automatically assume you're going to be very busy, but I would also see it as you are moving towards a major life goal. That can be attractive depending on the person. I say be open and honest with your info. If someone doesn't like it, then they filter you out. I feel that's the point of the swiping activity. It saves the time of going on a date, them hearing something that is a turn off, and it not going anywhere further. This goes with any significant piece of info like being a parent, being divorced, if you are into monogamy or not, and a major time commitment like med school. Be you, and hopefully match up with like minded people.
smackie9 Posted December 28, 2018 Posted December 28, 2018 No one said dating would be easy...online is no magic bullet, and sometimes it's worse than irl dating. You get what you pay for when it's free.
Author kisangani Posted December 29, 2018 Author Posted December 29, 2018 heres the blackpilled truth no ones telling you here cos theyre too nice. the reason u havnt got a lot of matches is because you are not that good looking. harsh but the reality has kicked in Well now I have to ask, what the heck does “blackpiled” mean?
Garcon1986 Posted January 1, 2019 Posted January 1, 2019 The first picture is frequently your first impression. Therefore only the sexiest photo will do. Tinder brings out the superficial in women, so show off your guns (in a classy style, maybe with a tight well ironed shirt), and maybe use photofeeler to sort out which photos people vote the highest. I am in medicine and I only ever got 1 profile match and 1 date in about 400 000 profiles. Psychologically, it's a you're not hot enough because the next offering is so much hotter. So either show your sexiness or make a creative series of powerpoint slides as your Tinder profile (or maybe those handwritten whiteboard things).
Garcon1986 Posted January 1, 2019 Posted January 1, 2019 My dating started out as an angry Asian dude protesting poor treatment by women. I've now had more spectacular dates with stunning women than I could have ever dreamed of. But that came through long years of dating people who I was not compatible with. You have to be determined to change or at least improve to be the best version of yourself you can be. The only way to fix this is to devote yourself to the training like a religion. Being more extroverted is the first step and it can be trained. 1. Step one - portray yourself at all times in the most well dressed, fashionable man you can be. Ask your salon's advice on what is the most physically attractive haircut that will go with your head. Use gel if needed. Physical attraction cuts both ways. You may be able to attract a hot girl, but you must accept that certain hot girls will never date you no matter what redeeming qualities you have because you are NOT THEIR TYPE. 2. Step two - portray yourself socially amongst women as a relaxed and easygoing man, who is willing to have a fun conversation. You must beat the stereotype that you are shy, and can only have certain kinds of conversation, regardless of the fact that women unfairly apply the stereotype through no fault of yours. 3. Step three - surround yourself with hobbies that you enjoy, which women simultaneously enjoy. 4. Step four - spend at least 1 month of solidly talking to a different woman every day, and get over the "stagefright" of approaching a woman you like. You should also spend time getting friendly with women, solely for the friendship, without worrying about fighting the friendzone. The idea behind doing this is to be comfortable in your own skin around attractive women. Failing to do this step proficiently will result in you losing your opportunity once a spectacular woman comes your way, because you will be rejected for being weird. If you are a consumer of porn, it needs to stop right now. It will be like trying to come off heroin - but if you choose to continue porn, a real relationship will be like trying to taste Italian spice after eating tacos with spicy red hot sauce - like an effing candle compared to a blowtorch. You will have such distorted views of women that dating will be meaningless. At this point, you stop and pause for a moment - you are about to jump into dating. If you were not totally comfortable in stage 4, you need to spend an additional month doing it until you are comfortable. Secondly - women will operate in the dating scene based upon what feels right - not based upon what logically is correct or what a man's internal rubric says they should do. Women will do irrational things to you based upon what feels right or wrong at the time, it's a fact of life. 5. Step five - take notes on women around you who show you indicators of interest (playing with their hair around you, a sustained smile, sustained eye contact, asking to be with you, etc etc). Focus initially on the women who like you, and now ask a few of them out on a date. If that particular woman likes you a lot, go ahead, be a man, and kiss her on the way home. Focus on the difference between an interview, a date, normal conversation, and flirting conversation. Focus on the fact that you are getting experience. Don't go for your favorite spectacular woman just yet. Take a step back, smell the roses, and congratulate yourself on some good dating experiences at this point. If you have sex, wonderful. Mentally step back and take in the experience. 6. Step six - now go ask out your favorite woman and see how it goes. If it fails, rinse, repeat, try again. Never fail in your determination, and try not to get too depressed from rejection. It happens to everybody - keep your head up and use Loveshack as a sounding board. That's the summary of thousands of dating coaches advice. That's really all there is to it. Hot guys have it easier because women's defenses are lowered, they have lots of charm, and less hoops need to be jumped. But for everybody else - we follow steps 1-6. 2
smackie9 Posted January 1, 2019 Posted January 1, 2019 Every time I post something like that I get rejected and bashed lol.
Joyce Simmons Posted January 1, 2019 Posted January 1, 2019 maybe don’t make it known that you are a med student till later. There are a lot of tinder women that are money hungry and might want to rob you
Larry56 Posted January 1, 2019 Posted January 1, 2019 My opinion: 1. Keep med student info (it shows you have potential) 2. Add one photo of you with friends but don't make it your main photo (it shows social status). 3. Have a funny bio (or something at least that describes your personality). Here's also the kicker about online dating and women (in general). 80% of the women are chasing the top 20% of men. If you don't have lots of good physical attributes you will not be successful on tinder (height, muscle, good looks etc). It's all about how *hawt* a guy is. However, depending on how old a girl is and what life stage she is in - she will go for you when you hit enough of those attraction cues. I myself get the same amount of tinder matches and the vast majority of guys get what you're getting. So don't feel like it's necessarily you but it's really that online most women seem to think you're average to them but then just remember that's 80% of the male population (in their eyes).
Larry56 Posted January 1, 2019 Posted January 1, 2019 I agree with everything Garcon1986 says. However, that is the long journey and long road to getting with women and might be a little overwhelming for a guy starting out to start doing straight away.
Author kisangani Posted January 2, 2019 Author Posted January 2, 2019 Thank you all so much for your responses:) A lot of good advice here that I will try to incorporate into my profile now.
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