Smallgirl011 Posted December 27, 2018 Posted December 27, 2018 My boyfriend and i were so happy, but like all relationships we had gone through a spell of arguing. He sent me a whats app message basically saying that he needs some space, didnt envisage us not being together etc etc. Rightly or wrongly, i felt very hurt by this message so i didnt reply. This was six weeks ago, and last week i messaged him asking him to pick up all my stuff which is at his place. He replied basically straight away sayingn he is upset i only just replied to him now, he is struggling etc etc (even though i dont think breaking up via whats app after 2 years is acceptable) and let me know when suits and he can drop it to me. I simply replied with let me know when youre at home and pop it outside. He has not replied since. What would your advice be in this situation?
Cersei Posted December 27, 2018 Posted December 27, 2018 I think you handled the situation very well. Good job. Do send him a message when you are ready to pick your stuff up. The sooner the better! When you are ready find a better one!
d0nnivain Posted December 27, 2018 Posted December 27, 2018 This is more evidence of his poor communication. He wanted you to chase him, to prove that you cared. When you didn't, he got more upset / angry. How much do you want the stuff? Send him a note that says what day & time you are coming over to pick it up. Otherwise just kiss it goodbye.
PRW Posted December 27, 2018 Posted December 27, 2018 Have him mail the stuff to you. He is going to "make a thing" about it when you go over there to get it. There is no way that he is going to pass up an opportunity to confront you when you go there. Your stuff just becomes "the opportunity".
Author Smallgirl011 Posted December 27, 2018 Author Posted December 27, 2018 The problem is that its quite a lot of stuff that cannot be mailed, as we were basically living together, and we have each other house keys. I just am struggling to understand what he is trying to do?
PRW Posted December 27, 2018 Posted December 27, 2018 I just am struggling to understand what he is trying to do? Well, there isn't much for us to go on objectively. These are negatives I see: 1. He broke up by messaging instead of in person. This shows maybe timidity and maybe cowardice. 2. You were upset and didn't respond to his breakup message, and then he got upset when you didn't respond to it and didn't say any more to you. This shows you both are bad communicators and react passive aggressively. 3. He didn't acknowledge your instructions to have your stuff ready. More poor communication skills and maybe more passive aggressive behavor. So you both have problems, and in fact to some extent seem to both be guilty of the same behavor. All I can do is break it down and explain what I see. There is no clear "solution" that I can determine, other than to tell both of you to "Stop doing that".
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