gijeanie79 Posted December 27, 2018 Posted December 27, 2018 I got this message Christmas Day. Do you think he’s being honest or do you think he’s trying to spare my feelings? “I don’t want drama #1 I just got out of a messed up relationship and she messed it up for you and all women I’m way to standoffish. I really like you a lot I’m messed up I’m sorry baby.”
planb1973 Posted December 27, 2018 Posted December 27, 2018 My first thought is... He is drunk and cray cray.
Giraffe-A Posted December 27, 2018 Posted December 27, 2018 He’s just letting you down easy. He’s not over her. Holiday brings it all out. 2
Author gijeanie79 Posted December 27, 2018 Author Posted December 27, 2018 I know this is probably a stupid question but do you think if I leave him alone he will be back around?
ExpatInItaly Posted December 27, 2018 Posted December 27, 2018 I know this is probably a stupid question but do you think if I leave him alone he will be back around? Back around to what, exactly? How long were you together? To me, it genuinely sounds like he’s not over his ex and is trying to let you down without being too harsh.
Art_Critic Posted December 27, 2018 Posted December 27, 2018 He calls you baby.. Seems like a drunk text but in the end he isn't into you.
Author gijeanie79 Posted December 27, 2018 Author Posted December 27, 2018 We were friends for 4 years so I hate that this happened. We started talking about making it serious in October after his breakup but he has been all over the place getting mad over every little thing. Blocking me and unblocking me when he gets mad. He said bye a couple of times. Me trying to make up for things I don’t know what I’m making up for. This last time he got mad and blocked me on fb about a miscommunication about a meeting place. He hadn’t blocked my number though. We have talked all the time. I know she really hurt him but I can’t make up for that. I care about him. So if he needs me gone I guess that’s what I’ll be. I just hope he comes back around. I’m so sad and miss talking to him.
elaine567 Posted December 27, 2018 Posted December 27, 2018 Were you the OW? Was he cheating with you before his break up with her?
Author gijeanie79 Posted December 27, 2018 Author Posted December 27, 2018 No. We didn’t start actually talking until after the breakup. He reached out.
nodramallama Posted December 27, 2018 Posted December 27, 2018 We were friends for 4 years so I hate that this happened. We started talking about making it serious in October after his breakup but he has been all over the place getting mad over every little thing. Blocking me and unblocking me when he gets mad. He said bye a couple of times. Me trying to make up for things I don’t know what I’m making up for. This last time he got mad and blocked me on fb about a miscommunication about a meeting place. He hadn’t blocked my number though. We have talked all the time. I know she really hurt him but I can’t make up for that. I care about him. So if he needs me gone I guess that’s what I’ll be. I just hope he comes back around. I’m so sad and miss talking to him. Blocking and unblocking you? Manipulating your feelings? How old is this child? 12? 1
elaine567 Posted December 27, 2018 Posted December 27, 2018 What can happen is that the heart broken person reaches out for some comfort and warmth but their heart isn't in it. They are in no place to give their all to a new relationship and they can end up treating that other person pretty badly, which is what is happening here. The other person may put up with it for love or in order to "fix" him. BUT once healed he often moves on either to reconnect with his ex or to find "the love of his life" or to play the field, leaving his "nursemaid", "saviour" and "fixer" behind. That is why it is never a good idea to get involved with people who are not completely over their ex. Here he is telling you to move on and you should listen. 2
d0nnivain Posted December 27, 2018 Posted December 27, 2018 It's the truth as he understands it. What it means is he's comparing you to her, & he still likes her more. That doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you. It just means that he's not as over her as he thought when he started up with you. He's not a jerk. He's trying to soften the blow as he break up with you. But you have to move on because he doesn't want a relationship with you now or in the future. If you were everything he wanted, he wouldn't give her a 2nd thought. 3
Mrs._December Posted December 27, 2018 Posted December 27, 2018 He doesn’t drink That's even worse. He doesn't have liquor to blame his childish craziness on. I honestly thought you were a couple of 16 year olds until I saw that you answered another poster that this guy is 33 years old. I find it highly amusing that this emotionally stunted fool is telling you that he wants no drama - and that's all he's INFUSED into your supposed romance from day #1 - DRAMA! Blocking you, unblocking you, sending childish texts like the one you got on Christmas. Why have you chosen to make this guy your science experiment? One lesson you'll have to learn in life (because I know you won't take anyone's advice here in this thread) is that you CAN'T FIX another person. You're going to learn that the hard way because I predict you'll continue pandering to this hot mess, but you'll eventually learn it.
Author gijeanie79 Posted December 27, 2018 Author Posted December 27, 2018 I’m not going to contact him. I do hope that he misses me and contacts me though. I know he probably won’t. But I still hope he does.
ExpatInItaly Posted December 27, 2018 Posted December 27, 2018 I’m not going to contact him. I do hope that he misses me and contacts me though. I know he probably won’t. But I still hope he does. The problem is that even if he does get in touch, it doesn’t necessarily mean it would be for the reasons you hoped. It doesn’t sound as though you and he ever actually dated, so I suspect he was just looking for some attention to fill the void left by his ex. I would not hang around and hope he changes his mind about you. I think you’re going to be disappointed. 1
Giraffe-A Posted December 27, 2018 Posted December 27, 2018 I know this is probably a stupid question but do you think if I leave him alone he will be back around? Possibly. Guys come back if they felt they wronged you or just out of familiarity. If he does return act like you’re okay, and take it super slow until you know he is ready. Otherwise, just cut your loss.
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