Confuesedguy Posted December 26, 2018 Posted December 26, 2018 so its been 6 months since my ex gf of 9 years left me for the second time. the second break up she started acting out, taking off, gaslighting arguements. having reasons to fight, got mad at everything all of a sudden. i begged and cried and chased her for 1 month. she refused and was cold angry and mean. she kicked dirt in my face and she used my broken heart to her advantage. because at the time she knew she could have me back with the snap of her fingers. so the past 5 months , its been low contact, i want to be clear, i never once was an *******, never called her names. never was a prick or put her down or anything. we only kept contact for our child. i started being more social, but let go of social media. went out , went to the gym started hanging out with friends. the same thing other people have done on the internet to try and get over their exes. i have to say i have bettered myself. and i definatly surpassed my ex. i wasnt bettering myself for her, i just didnt want to spend my life crying in bed. so now it doesnt make sense. why is she back again. like the first time we broke up, yeah ok, maybe we werent so commited and things werent that serious , but the second time we had a family and a child and a life we built together. she burnt alot of bridges , not only with me, but HER own family after our break up , her siblings were made at her , her parents, ( not fueled by me) even alot of her friends. she has send me probably 20-30 messages trying to meet up and talk about us. i replied to one message saying "huh"? and then the last one she sent me was im going to bed. ill be waiting for you call when your ready. what a joke, like she thinks this is just a revolving door that she can keep coming in and out of. i know we have a family and it would be great to grow old and be commited. but leaving me TWICE, how is that love? how is that commitment? its not. i bent over backwards for her so many times. i let her break my heart twice. even more than twice. i dont plan on taking her back, i dont need to be left for a 3rd time, but the thing i am really struggling with is trying to understand WTF is going on in her mind, i really think that she has a mental illness. how can you keep breaking up with someone after everything EVERYTHING that weve been through, like there was so much love filled moments between us, and even our bond that i as a person could never part with till the day i died. and then its like once boredum kicks in , boom your gone, to where ever with who ever , and not looking back until you want to. can some one please help me understand. has anyone out there ever acted like she has. i ripped my hair out trying to get her back. and now that i finally started to move on she comes back WTFFFFF
healing light Posted December 26, 2018 Posted December 26, 2018 I swear people can sense when they no longer take up rent in your head. I don't think this is that uncommon, actually. When you're desperate for someone it's like they can feel it, and once you've let go and started becoming the person that maybe you were prior to dating them or just feeling comfortable in your own skin again... they're back. Personally, I feel like it's the universe's way of testing you to see if you've truly learned your lesson and adopted your new boundaries. Don't fall for it, it sounds from what you've written that you deserve better. Gas lighting and name calling are behaviors that she's likely to fall back into after the tiny honeymoon period after reconciliation. 1
PRW Posted December 26, 2018 Posted December 26, 2018 Why do guys get so freaked out if an Ex pops back up? What's the big deal? It isn't rocket science. Whatever the Ex had going on,...isn't going on at the moment. Maybe they are bored. Maybe they are between hot flings. Maybe they heard an old song that reminded them of you, they felt sentimental, and they looked you up for old time's sake. So what? There isn't any dark evil plan to take over the world. If your free and have the time, and the will, then maybe touch base with them for a bit. If you don't want to,...then just don't. It is no more complicated than that.
Giraffe-A Posted December 26, 2018 Posted December 26, 2018 9 years is a long time to be with someone these days. Depending what age you guys got together, she may just had hit that point where she asks herself if this is it. That can be a really confusing thing, but the second time around, she may be going back and forth with something or someone else which usually starts with the unexpected fights. Could there be any possible reason that she can give you to take her back? Then that’s as good as reason to not care what her deal is and simply block her and keep moving forward.
Author Confuesedguy Posted December 26, 2018 Author Posted December 26, 2018 9 years is a long time to be with someone these days. Depending what age you guys got together, she may just had hit that point where she asks herself if this is it. That can be a really confusing thing, but the second time around, she may be going back and forth with something or someone else which usually starts with the unexpected fights. Could there be any possible reason that she can give you to take her back? Then that’s as good as reason to not care what her deal is and simply block her and keep moving forward. the only thing she has said in her long ass messages are specific memories that we had together, things that i brought up and reasons for her not to leave me when she did. im at the point right now where i feel like all the love and emotion in our relationship was just a fake act that she did to get a head in life. for someone to lie for that many years. well all i know is if you truly love someone yu will never let them go. i feel like she didnt care because she knew i would always be there to catch her when she fell. and she probably fell again and i wasnt there to catch her so shes trying to get me again. the only thing that would give me any forgiveness or satisfaction from her is if she exposed herself to the public for what she became , how she treated me and how she would be willing to change, lol but that would never happen
Marc878 Posted December 26, 2018 Posted December 26, 2018 Actions always speak and mean more than words. She was never a need only a want. You got a good lesson here. You'd be wise to learn from it. Past history is the best predictor of the future. Don't waste anymore time on this. Just block her.
PRW Posted December 27, 2018 Posted December 27, 2018 Then that’s as good as reason to not care what her deal is and simply block her and keep moving forward. Don't waste anymore time on this. Just block her. I never "block" anyone unless they are peeking in my windows and poisoning the dog. It is childish avoidance behavor. All you have to do is have some balls and just tell them you don't want to get together with them. At worst you may have to say no a few times before they get the point, but in the end they give up and go away. In all my years I have never blocked anyone except telemarketers. I have never even removed any from my contacts,...because if they try to contact me I want to know who it is rather than seeing a phone number that I don't know or remember who's it is. Think about it?? What in the world did people do when phones were mounted on the wall with a 6 foot cord on the handset,...and there was no block feature? The only way to block anyone was to call the phone company and make a big deal over it.
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