Harcel Posted December 26, 2018 Posted December 26, 2018 I went out for the first time with a guy last week. We had been talking for about 2-3 weeks before and a few days before the date we were texting and he asked me how my online dating was going and if I am having much luck. I found this quite a strange question, is it just me or does it seem like he was probably showing low interest because why would he want to know that? It’s something you ask a friend not a potential date. And I haven’t heard from him much since the date either but I put that down to the possibility of it being the holidays.
PRW Posted December 26, 2018 Posted December 26, 2018 I went out for the first time with a guy last week. We had been talking for about 2-3 weeks before and a few days before the date we were texting and he asked me how my online dating was going and if I am having much luck. I found this quite a strange question, is it just me or does it seem like he was probably showing low interest because why would he want to know that? It’s something you ask a friend not a potential date. And I haven’t heard from him much since the date either but I put that down to the possibility of it being the holidays. The guy doesn't know what he is doing. He is clueless about dating and knowing how to communicate with women. 1. This is online dating. OLD is full of people on both sides who have low dating skills. 2. You have both been communicating for 2-3 weeks before managing to set a date. The date should have been made after the 2nd, 3rd, or maybe the 4th message (not week). 3. His comment was a stupid comment to make which shows he has no dating skills. He is just fumbling along. He is probably fishing to see if you have met any other guys on OLD and is trying to figure out how much competition he has. 1
stillafool Posted December 26, 2018 Posted December 26, 2018 I agree. He sounds like he's talking to a friend about online dating and comparing notes. 1
Author Harcel Posted December 26, 2018 Author Posted December 26, 2018 The guy doesn't know what he is doing. He is clueless about dating and knowing how to communicate with women. 1. This is online dating. OLD is full of people on both sides who have low dating skills. 2. You have both been communicating for 2-3 weeks before managing to set a date. The date should have been made after the 2nd, 3rd, or maybe the 4th message (not week). 3. His comment was a stupid comment to make which shows he has no dating skills. He is just fumbling along. He is probably fishing to see if you have met any other guys on OLD and is trying to figure out how much competition he has. He did ask me at the end of our first message exchange when I would be free to meet but I went on a business trip, he also travelled so we planned a date the following weekend which he cancelled and we rerranged for the next weekend.
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted December 26, 2018 Posted December 26, 2018 I got this question a million times when I was online dating. It's just an ice breaker. Don't read more into it than is there. It's a little odd he waited until 2-3 weeks in to ask you that, but how often were you actually talking? 3
Author Harcel Posted December 26, 2018 Author Posted December 26, 2018 I got this question a million times when I was online dating. It's just an ice breaker. Don't read more into it than is there. It's a little odd he waited until 2-3 weeks in to ask you that, but how often were you actually talking? We were talking sometimes daily or every 2-3 days. I too have been asked by others but when we have just started talking on whatever platform it is in the first few message, like you say an Ice breaker. It’s the timing that I find strange, a day or 2 before you’re about to go on a date with someone.
Giraffe-A Posted December 26, 2018 Posted December 26, 2018 This question gets asked by EVERYONE! They are getting a feel about your intentions. I personally like the question because it gives you the opportunity to express what you are looking for and also get a feel about what they are about. I got to hear answers like, “yeah, it’s been good, Ive met a lot of cool girls but I haven’t felt that spark,” Run away “I’ve met all the crazies.” I am always intrigued by this response so I ask further. Still, run away. You’ll find soon enough how empty online dating is. 2
smackie9 Posted December 26, 2018 Posted December 26, 2018 He could be feeling you out, or testing you. 1
PRW Posted December 26, 2018 Posted December 26, 2018 He did ask me at the end of our first message exchange when I would be free to meet but I went on a business trip, he also travelled so we planned a date the following weekend which he cancelled and we rerranged for the next weekend. Doesn't change my main point
Author Harcel Posted December 26, 2018 Author Posted December 26, 2018 This question gets asked by EVERYONE! They are getting a feel about your intentions. I personally like the question because it gives you the opportunity to express what you are looking for and also get a feel about what they are about. I got to hear answers like, “yeah, it’s been good, Ive met a lot of cool girls but I haven’t felt that spark,” Run away “I’ve met all the crazies.” I am always intrigued by this response so I ask further. Still, run away. You’ll find soon enough how empty online dating is. Guys will always tell you they met crazies. As I said I think in the start it’s fine to ask the question but not by the point you’re about to go on a date with someone.
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted December 26, 2018 Posted December 26, 2018 We were talking sometimes daily or every 2-3 days. I too have been asked by others but when we have just started talking on whatever platform it is in the first few message, like you say an Ice breaker. It’s the timing that I find strange, a day or 2 before you’re about to go on a date with someone. Then I would say he's been talking to lots of other women, continuing to look at people online, and momentarily got you confused with someone else.
Giraffe-A Posted December 26, 2018 Posted December 26, 2018 Guys will always tell you they met crazies. As I said I think in the start it’s fine to ask the question but not by the point you’re about to go on a date with someone. You’ll have to set up your own rules as you go. There’s really no point in over analyzing this one question as it just seems to be a repetitive conversation filler that tells you a lot about the person. Some ask this question during the first enail, within the first few chats, or when they first meet you. Wherher they asked before or after, it has never changed the outcome or intentions of the person. 1
PRW Posted December 26, 2018 Posted December 26, 2018 You have to come up with good comebacks from questions like this. It will either make you stand out in the crowd,...of make them flee. Either result is good and tells you something. Q: "How is your online dating was going and are you having much luck?" A: "Ask me after the date" 2
Author Harcel Posted December 26, 2018 Author Posted December 26, 2018 You have to come up with good comebacks from questions like this. It will either make you stand out in the crowd,...of make them flee. Either result is good and tells you something. Q: "How is your online dating was going and are you having much luck?" A: "Ask me after the date" That’s a good one
ElKay Posted December 26, 2018 Posted December 26, 2018 I've met crazies at one point, but that's because I wasn't great at filtering matches back in the day. Some guys really are bad at picking girls as they might only base themselves on looks and overlook red flags. Anyways, back on the topic, my bf asked me about my experience and I asked about his. While it was fun to share some stories, it made me think that he didn't care about our starting relationship, since we were both still seeing others at first.
kendahke Posted December 26, 2018 Posted December 26, 2018 (edited) I went out for the first time with a guy last week. We had been talking for about 2-3 weeks before and a few days before the date we were texting and he asked me how my online dating was going and if I am having much luck. I found this quite a strange question, is it just me or does it seem like he was probably showing low interest because why would he want to know that? No. I ask this question too because I'm curious as to other people's experience with it. I see nothing wrong in asking this question. I've met crazies on a first date and asking this question doesn't even come close in comparison--that's pretty much a stretch to equate the two. Edited December 26, 2018 by kendahke 1
Author Harcel Posted December 26, 2018 Author Posted December 26, 2018 No. I ask this question too because I'm curious as to other people's experience with it. I see nothing wrong in asking this question. I've met crazies on a first date and asking this question doesn't even come close in comparison--that's pretty much a stretch to equate the two. I’m not saying he is a crazy person. Just that I felt it signified low interest/wasn’t all that bothered if I am going on other dates etc 1
alphamale Posted December 26, 2018 Posted December 26, 2018 men who ask how your OLD is going are just trying to make conversation 2
hippychick3 Posted December 27, 2018 Posted December 27, 2018 I’m not saying he is a crazy person. Just that I felt it signified low interest/wasn’t all that bothered if I am going on other dates etc Honestly, he shouldn’t be as you haven’t met yet. None of the texts and exchanges before meeting create any real attachment or intimacy on the man’s part (and shouldn’t for a woman either). You’re still strangers until you meet in person.
Gretchen12 Posted December 27, 2018 Posted December 27, 2018 What was your answer? I wouldn't spend that much time texting a guy I didn't like. So if there were good reasons we couldn't meet sooner, I'd just tell him OLD is good because it allowed us to connect, and that I appreciate him whether or not things work out long term. 1
frankspeci Posted December 27, 2018 Posted December 27, 2018 (edited) In my experience this question gets asked a lot on first dates. Typically harmless, ice breaker and a great way to diffuse a bit of the social awkwardness of having met online, as well as laugh about the crazy matches. Getting this question a few weeks later via text, sounds to me like he's possibly curious about whether you're dating a bunch of other people from apps or if it's just him in the picture. Possibly. Either way I wouldnt read much into it. Edit - wait this happened prior to meeting up? In that case it means nothing. just a convo starter Edited December 27, 2018 by frankspeci
Art_Critic Posted December 27, 2018 Posted December 27, 2018 When I was single and doing OLD I would ask that question all the time. just conversation banter and you would be surprised at some of the answers.. for the most part the answers were innocuous and light hearted and they almost always asked the question back. I learned a lot by asking that question about my competition.. for example I learned how many men send penis pics very quickly.. hahahaha I learned how they respond when being rejected and it helped me understand why women just don't reply sometimes.. I also learned some things that allowed me to make a decision to not date someone again.. for example I learned from one girl that I was the second date that night.. who does that.. I learned from one girl that she used dating as a way to just go out and get dinner or lunch... I also asked the question to my now wife ans she told me about the guys she was dating.. just glancing stuff.. nothing detailed but enough to allow me to check out the competition... Good Times.... 1
Author Harcel Posted December 27, 2018 Author Posted December 27, 2018 OK, perhaps he was just asking out of interest. I had already deleted my account about a week after we started talking and he knew that (maybe why he asked because I could have been using another site) so in my response I just said that I go through phases with OLD and that I don’t really like it but you never know. He said that he had also deleted his profile. Anyway maybe I read into it too much but I guess what speaks more about his interest is that I haven’t heard from him in a week now so it doesn’t matter. Thank you for the responses :-)
chillii Posted December 27, 2018 Posted December 27, 2018 lt's nothing. l was only on one for a short time but l asked the same. Wasn't passing judgement or fishing or making any reflection on her, just wondering what she thought of the whole OLD thing and how it had been for her. l'd ask a guy the same thing cept l wasn't meeting guys sooo, l'd ask her and they asked me too.
rightondude Posted December 27, 2018 Posted December 27, 2018 When I was single and doing OLD I would ask that question all the time. just conversation banter and you would be surprised at some of the answers.. for the most part the answers were innocuous and light hearted and they almost always asked the question back. I learned a lot by asking that question about my competition.. for example I learned how many men send penis pics very quickly.. hahahaha I learned how they respond when being rejected and it helped me understand why women just don't reply sometimes.. I also learned some things that allowed me to make a decision to not date someone again.. for example I learned from one girl that I was the second date that night.. who does that.. I learned from one girl that she used dating as a way to just go out and get dinner or lunch... I also asked the question to my now wife ans she told me about the guys she was dating.. just glancing stuff.. nothing detailed but enough to allow me to check out the competition... Good Times.... great examples of why I always ask this question. I want to know more about my competition, the mistakes they make, and then show i'm better/different (which really doesn't take much effort, and I'm not all that good!). Also it gives you great insight on whether someone's into quick hookups or looking for a life long thing.
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